A
female
age
30-35,
*s. Gonzalez
writes:My boyfriend works with a girl who loves my boyfriend. When her boyfriend broke up with her she was crying and my boyfriend listened to her and helped her. Everything was fine at that moment. But since then she has developed a major crush on my boyfriend which turned into loving. She turns up at all times to our home. We are nice to her but we can't take her calls etc no more !. My boyfriend is soo fed up with it and I am fed up with it too.How do we tell her to LEAVE us alone for goooooood !What can we do ?!
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female
reader, Ms. Gonzalez +, writes (22 October 2012):
Ms. Gonzalez is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe did that but she won't listen. We tried hooking her up with someone else but she wants my boyfriend.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I think your BF needs to step up and next time she calls, to tell he calmly that he can only talk to her at work and about work. To NOT call him anymore at home or on his cell.
That he CAN'T be friends with her because what she is doing is not friendly at all.
HE needs to be firm (yet polite) with her.
If she shows up at the door don't open it. Ignore Ignore Ignore. If she keeps ringing the doorbell, well take the batteries out. YOU DO NOT have to let her in, you don NOT have to open your door.
However your BF really needs the be the one to set her straight.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 October 2012):
 I love SageOldGuy's script to follow.
And I love kaileylove's advice. To be all lovey around her, so she understands, hey Girl, we are a united team.
This girl is rude and can't takea hint. So be firm, polite and meet her at the door but don't invite her in.
Same if you meet her in the street, stand close together, make sure his arm is around your waist and be united in the face of her attempts to drive a wedge between the two of you. She'll find another eventually. There is a reason why her guy broke up with her.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 October 2012):
 You, and your B/F, say to her, very politely: "You know, (her name here), (boyfirend's name here) has dumped your a*s.... and WE have taken up a relationship.... and there is NO PLACE for YOU in that relationship..... Sooo, please don't come by.... don't call.... don't email.... don't Tweet... don't write..... and all will be well. Do you understand?"
After that, if she has any contact with you and B/F (outside of the necessary contact that she and B/F may have at work).... then THAT contact will have come about because you and B/F haven't really made you point clear.
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 Just say leave me alone im with someone and if she continues to harass gave her reported.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 Set her up with another guy if possible. She needs to believe the good in humanity and that there are actually many decent guys out there besides ones that are already taken. You can take her to parties, or interest groups where she can mingle with other people. Also refuse to talk to her about her ex.
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A
female
reader, KaileyLove +, writes (21 October 2012):
 I have this SAME exact problem! This girl was friends with my boyfriend and I, and when her boyfriend broke up with her, she came running to MY boyfriend. Now she's obsessed with him. She texts him all the time.
Here's my advice (and what I plan to do.):
- tell her that he's YOUR boyfriend, and you're not comfortable with her being around him.
- tell your boyfriend to tell her to leave him alone.
- Be all ooey-gooey affectionate when she's around.
- or don't let her come around at all.
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