| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: The joy of mixed messages! Or as I perceive them as so! There's this guy, as there always is, he's pretty cute and in my class at college! Anyway, last week, things seem to be going well (we hung out alone a few times and he made a few comments that were interesting/hinting), we have been hanging out one on one, but this week, a couple of times I have thought - he just does not want to be here with me, then he does or says something that makes me think he does like me. We went out for dinner, and then went to an event. During dinner, I just got the feeling he didn't want to be there, which is fine, but I would rather he said something about not going to dinner before the event than come along. Anyway, we went out for a drink afterward the event with some friends and it was getting late, so I decided to leave after one drink. He tends to leave with me, as we get the same transport, but I get off a lot earlier. After what I thought was an awful meal, I was not expecting him to come with me this time, but he did. This time, he was really chatty, when we got on the mode of transport, he sat next to me, and our knees touched and he didn't move his. We chatted about weddings, marriage and children. When I had to go, there was almost desperation in his voice about when I would see him again and he listed where he would be over the next few days. So I thought that was unusual! Then the other day, he was not meant to be around college as it was his day off. I text him, to confirm something for a mutual friend who is doing the same project as him. Anyway at the end of his text back, he asked me how my assessment was going and that he was in the library by the way. I thought - I have got to grab this opportunity, so told him I didn't think it was going so well (the assessment), and did he want to come for a drink with me afterwards. He replied yes to that. I met him outside college, and we bumped into a friend of his, he stood chatting to his friend, so I started chatting to someone else, as I didn’t just want to stand there. Then I decided I really needed a drink, announced that fact, and began to amble off. He followed but seemed reluctant. We finally found a place to sit and drink. We chatted about lots of things, got onto the subject of children again, he said he was good with teenagers (I am not) and I said I was good with toddlers. However our knees touched a couple of times, but he seemed to move his body away a bit, and I touched his arm a couple of times, playfully. We were sat really close together, if I had gotten any closer I would have been on his lap therefore I thought this would have been a prime time for him to make a move?! I just got the feeling that he didn't want to be there some of the time, but he stayed for almost an hour and a half. He showed me some cool stuff he could do which I was impressed by and when I mentioned someone gave me something for my birthday, he very eagerly asked when my birthday was. I think the issue for me is, he hangs around with me, on my own quite a bit, but I am wondering if he is doing these body language things as he is not interested, or if I make him nervous? If he doesn’t like me, why does he agree to see me one-on-one? His texts are quite long, but formal and don't really give much away. So I am a little confused, as I thought if men like something they take it (like my past boyfriends have done).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2012): So, the gist of all the advice, is he is shy! Ok, but to me there is a fine line between being shy and uninterested?
Thanks
OP
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012): Sounds to me like he is a bit nervous to make the first move. So why don't you do it instead?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 October 2012):
 I got more good messages here. The ones that make you unsure are because he is shy. When he was close to you he could be getting an erection, wanting to hide it, so that's probably why he didn't want to let it go too far. One thing for sure is that he wants to see you again. Rather than talk about general subject, try to talk about just you and him. Give him a hug. That's if you like him that way too. Tell him what you like about him. The "let the guy chase you, be unavailable" would probably not work for this guy. Don't assume what he's thinking. When he's quiet and you want to know what's going on just straight out ask him.
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