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Why does he say I'm the only girl for him and then ignore my suggestions of meeting up?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 September 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I find this man so confusing please please help!!!I have known him for about 7 years. We have both been away and travelled etc...but always been 'casual sex buddies'. We ahve a lot in common but I think have both enjoyed being single. He lives about 3 hours away at the moment, and I have plans to travel again. He always jokes and says 'we will get married one day'. Lat time i was out of the country he messaged me saying 'you are the only girl i really like and the onnly girl i can ever see myself settling down with'....i messaged back saying 'wow, you must have been drunk to send that' and he replied saying 'although i was drunk its true!'...i replied 'wel meet up when i get back to the uk'...he said ok....recently when i got back i messaged him asing him about meeting up and he ignored me!!!???Why would he say something like that im so confused???its fine if we are just casual sex but why does he saythings liek that :(

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 September 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe thinks that like most women you would not be in it with him if he admitted it was just casual... so he "teases you" with the words he thinks you want to hear.

IF you are truly ok with being casual FWB then let him know that he needs to cut the BS words out.

OTOH I just asked my son why he never replied to a text message sent last week.. he told me he never got it... and I believe him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (5 September 2013):

Honeypie agony auntBecause he likes the "fantasy" but reality is a whole other world.

He wants YOU to not want anyone else, and his way to go about it is to suggest marriage. Even if he doesn't mean it. You two have spend 7 years being casual sex buddies and he wants to be the only guy for you. (Doesn't mean he will be exclusive with you, but he want YOU to be).

THAT would be my best guess.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 September 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Just like Janniepeg says , he is fidelizing the customer :). If he says something sweet and cute, you'll go " awww that 's so sweet and cute " and will keep being at his sexual , and exclusive , beck and call regardless of the low energy he puts in this story. I.e. , you will be distracted by the words and won't notice the action, which is, when he has to actually meet you in real life, he can't be arsed ( unless HE decides it's time to meet ).

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (5 September 2013):

janniepeg agony auntBecause it feels so sweet to say those words. He's a dreamer and doesn't care about things happening in real life. I bet he felt proud that you almost took him seriously. It's like men can never be happy with serious relationships, but they can't be too happy with casual sex either. They do want the women to fall in love, even if they have to fake the relationship. The ultimate joy is to have a girlfriend feels like she is having a relationship but at the same time having no responsibility, or promises for anything. I am not surprised if you are actually not the only girl. He only said it just so that in case he wants you, you will be there for him. Also he is cuffing you because he wants to be your only guy. If you are not having sex with other guys that means definite supply for him. He knows that if a girl has to pick, she would pick a guy who talks smooth over a guy who is just wham bam thank you mam.

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