A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i feel like i am never going to settle down and find mr.right :( i am a 25 year old girl from the uk who has travelled a lot and i still love to travel, but i feel like it really puts guys off. They like to have flings with me but then for some reason they just stop messagig me? feel lke there is something wrong with me.they always say how much they like me but then just dont want to see me? do yu think it might be because they are scared i will leave thecountry again and they will get hurt? or is it because they see me as 'wild and free'? is this such a bad thing? :( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 There could be lots of reasons why men are you using it for a fling. It may be because of your traveling, or it is because you allow yourself to be treated as a fling.
Traveling shows a lot of independence. Some men are intimidated by an independent woman. They may also worry about trusting you -- since you are on the road a lot they may worry that you are having one night stands in other cities.
Also, do you have the time necessary to commit to a relationship? If you are traveling for work and constantly working or gone, the men you are seeing may feel left out. If a man is going to commit to a woman, he certainly wants her around to share the day to day experiences.
Finally, if you are looking for a long-term relationship and not a fling, don't allow yourself to be treated as a fling. This may mean holding out a bit longer before you have sex with someone. That way you get to know one another and know that the bonds that are forming are more than casual.
Hopefully you take some time to really think about what you have to bring to a relationship and what messages you are throwing out there. I think there is significantly more going on that what you are telling us here.
Eddie
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 Travelling a lot does not mean wild and free. Maybe free spirited, but not necessarily wild. It just means that you are not available for stable relationships. When you think of them getting hurt, you are thinking too far ahead. Most guys will not invest feelings for a possible long term relationship. They can think whatever they want. Unless you aim for serious relationships, you can't really expect them to keep messaging you. I do feel that if you want to find Mr. Right, you have to let the men know that at a certain time you will stop travelling and settle in a city and call that home, that's if they are open to move there too if not the same city you meet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2013): I have the same thing, becauseit like to travel also, and I travel 3 months out of a year. I heard guys saying things like : another day another guy. Because they think when you travel you meet quite a bit of people. Also you are a tourist, just passing by. So they think you have an attitude like many tourists have: I am only passing by, and it's just an adventure for me, we ll never meet again anyway.Then one guy asked me, when you travel and meet someone do you know already that it's probably the last time I see this guy? I thought about this and came to conclusion that actually this is exactly what I think. So guys in your country when they hear, o I am leaving for a month to travel, they feel like you are going on adventure, will be meeting other guys and so on. I did this until I found a guy who likes to travel also, and ow we travel together. There is a guy out there for you, you just didn't meet him yet.
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