A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do I feel strange round this older man? There is a man I have recently met (few weeks) and everyone seems to love him he is charming, a great speaker, and in his 40s but for some reason I just don't feel comfortable around him, I hate it when I see him watching me, and when he speaks to me I try and cut it short to move away, but he does thinks like rubbing my arm and putting his arm around me, and I know this is just friendly but it makes me feel uneasy, everyone else other than my mum keeps pushing me to get to know him, but I have spoken to my mum and she thinks I should keep my distance and never to be alone with him, but she hasn't met him only heard what I have said, but the other folk who have met him think am just being over sensitive but I don't know my gut just don't know he makes me feel uncomfortable when ever he looks at me. Sorry is it just in my head and should I get to know him or listen to my gut? Thanks
View related questions:
older man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 November 2013):
 ALWAYS trust your gut....
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2013):
 Listen to your gut.
CMMP put it well, WHY should you HAVE to be around someone that makes you feel uncomfortable? WHY?
I strongly believe there is a REASON we get that gut feeling or "warning" bells around some people, don't ignore it.
And if someone you don't want touching you touches you, step out of reach or tell them flat out, I rather you stopped touching me.
And honestly, he should know better at 40. Here is the thing though he MAY know better, but testing YOUR boundaries.
I'd listen to my gut & my mom over anyone else in this case.
...............................
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (5 November 2013):
 You ignore your inner voice at your peril. This guy certainly has these other people in thrall to the point that each has ignored the inner voice. Let them take risks with him!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2013): He's 20 years older than you! I know sometimes age differences work out but…he's old enough to be your father! No surprise that you feel uncomfortable with the idea of dating him!!
No, I definitely wouldn't hang out with him alone. Trust your gut :)
...............................
A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (5 November 2013):
 Trust your gut. And, it wouldn't hurt to take your mom's advice either. Stay away from him, if he is making you uncomfortable. Don't worry what other people think, and people telling you you are just being overly sensitive...they might mean well, but they are not in your shoes and do not understand how you feel. Even if he is "harmless", there is a thing called personal space and he is clearly invading it if you feel that uncomfortable. Also, sometimes your instincts can be warning you about something...I would trust your instincts.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2013): Always trust your intuition, if you're feeling uneasy around him, keep your distance.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): listen to your gut, ignoring it can lead to something dangerous, who cares what other people say. If you're not comfortable stay away.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (4 November 2013):
 Why don't you ask if he touches your friends also? Maybe he picks you because he fancies you? Some other cultures are more open and touchy feely such as Italians. I still think there is a difference between a friendly touch and a horny one. And that difference lies in the energy he emits. I know because when a gay guy director kissed me on the cheek (for thanking me for a good performance). I felt very sweet, and it was innocent yet genuine. When a straight guy kisses me with the intention of going further, I either liked it and responded with my body if I like him, or feel repulsed if I don't. If you feel uncomfortable that's because he crossed a boundary he's not supposed to. Your body knows and it reacts faster than what your mind could process. I also think age is a factor. A 40 year old man should know better not to touch a young woman that way. It comes across as creepy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): YES,I think that your Mother is definitely right.You don't really know anything about this man.If you really like him and want to proceed in getting to know him better I think that you should probably arrange for your Mother and him to meet.If she approves then this uneasy feeling should feel better knowing that this man is safe to be around.If not well......I think you already know the answer to that.Hope I helpedXx
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 November 2013):
Why in the world would you feel the need to get to know someone who makes you uncomfortable?
Maybe (in fact probably) you are being over sensitive, but unless you're in counseling for it there's no reason to make yourself uncomfortable.
...............................
|
