A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all. So I've been battling with my head a bit lately and need some opinions and advice. I've always received wonderful and helpful responses in the past, so thanks for that. Okay, so, to get to the point, I'm a 29 year old lesbian. I have dated and cared for a decent number of women in my lifetime, however, I have never actually been able to see myself marrying or settling down permanently with any of these women before. I have been called unemotional and distant by a lot of the girls I've been with. If you ask them, I was never affectionate enough or verbal enough. I didn't make them feel special enough, etc. I never thought I treated them poorly by any means, but I certainly didn't go above and beyond. I always chalked it up to the fact that I just didn't feel that they were the one. I even dated a couple of these women for years at a time, but still, I never saw myself married to them. However, a year ago, I met a beautiful and amazing woman. She is my best friend and so much more. She has taught me the reason why I never saw my future with anyone else. And I treat her like a princess. I finally understand what people mean when they say they just knew their partner was the one. I feel that way about her. She truly is different from anyone else I've ever dated and I absolutely see myself marrying her down the road. My problem, though, is that now that I feel so much for another person, I have grown to be insecure in a way that I am not used to. I find myself scared that I love her more than she loves me. She has not given me any specific reason to believe this is the case, but it's becoming a fear of mine. in my mind, I want to know that I mean as much to her as she means to me. And I find myself being insecure and sensitive over things I've never been insecure and sensitive about just because I care about her opinion so much. Does this make any sense?I guess, ultimately, since I feel so much between us, I feel there is such a great deal at stake. She says she sees her future with me, but yet I still am worried I care more and want more. I know I need to get out of my own head and calm down. I guess I've just never cared this much for another person. Any tips or pointers would be lovely. thanks guys!
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best friend, insecure, lesbian Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2013): Maybe she is the one so why not enjoy it. Just show her she seems the world to you, why would she want anyone else if you give her your love and attention. Either than or ask her to marry you!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 November 2013):
 She can be special but it's still important to not put a person on a pedestal. Ironically, to feel secure in a relationship the first step is to accept the imagined break up of the relationship. It's similar to saying if you can accept death then you can enjoy and embrace life. Just because a person is wonderful in many areas does not mean you have to insist that the relationship is forever.
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