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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Is the spark going from our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now, and it is definately the best relationship i've ever been in. We started off as friends and it grew into more. My boyfriend has always seemed a bit shy in bed - he has a condition called ...
A. 27 April 2015: I don't know about phimosis but maybe sex hurts him? Also if his ex girlfriend left him because of this condition then sex would be the last thing he's going to appreciate in life. It is up to him to find treatment. His problem won't go away by ... (read in full...)
Are my large breasts an impediment to finding and dating a guy? I feel my breasts are a turn-off.
Q. I have large breasts ,( an e cup )and have been single a while now . It seems to me that men don't like big breasts and actually find them a turn off. I am beginning to feel insecure and think no man will ever want me as every guy I talk to or re...
A. 26 April 2015: As a lover I would never say I prefer your body part to be the opposite of what you have. When you love a person you love the whole body. Don't be surprised thought there are men who have big breasts phobia, but they are in the minority. I don't ... (read in full...)
I don't want this to happen in real life. But am I normal to have these secret fantasies about my wife?
Q. I have a wife and am happily married but during my own time I'm constantly fantasizing about her having sex with other men, particularly big black men. It turns me on thinking that she is enjoying/ pleased more especially as they have a bigger p...
A. 26 April 2015: My husband is like this except he doesn't look at porn and won't fit in my panties. In reality he is paranoid that I will run off with a black guy, and believes that if any woman could, they would be in a relationship with a black guy because sex is ... (read in full...)
Should just leave it or ask my mother why she felt the need to say such a thing?
Q. I had my first child when I was 17 with my now ex boyfriend. Due to ill health my mother spent a lot of time looking after my child as I have epilepsy and found it hard to handle both at the time. As my mother couldn't take my epilepsy away bu...
A. 25 April 2015: Sometimes you need to hear what people say as a fact and without attaching more meaning to it. Maybe you imagined she thought her only role in life is to be your babysitter and she's tired of it, and she's quickly declining that request even before ... (read in full...)
When I mentioned I'd had a bad day he changed the subject. Is this lack of empathy an indication that he doesn't care as much as I thought he did?
Q. i'm not sure if i am over reacting or this is the sign for me to say bye to this guy. Hes 28, i'm 25, both from same country and same religion. we met of a matrimonial website. Cutting it short, we've been speaking for a short period of t...
A. 25 April 2015: You are from the same culture yet you were surprised by his cold response, so that means it's not culture specific. You are right to get upset but by calling off this relationship because of this, is overreacting. You had thought, if he could talk ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain it to me? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded?
Q. I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a...
A. 25 April 2015: If it's true that being an asshole is a male trait, no wonder why nice guys are not seen as real men. What's the alternative? Marry a boring emotional schmuck as a husband that women don't respect, feeling no spark, probably a having sex life that ... (read in full...)
Can a marriage last if only one side is in love with the other?
Q. Ok so I've got in to a big mess and take full responsibility and need some advice. Please don't judge me as I hate myself enough right now..... 8 years ago I met a wonderful man whilst visiting some friends in another part of the UK. We hit it o...
A. 25 April 2015: I believe it can, but on certain conditions.
You said you don't have the strength to call off the wedding. It's a common thing to say rather than suffer long term, why not pull the plug now? Do you have the strength to do the following long term... (read in full...)
Will my fiance from another country be able to accept my culture? I think he's jealous
Q. Will my overseas born fiance be able to accept my American culture? He is so very loyal and romantic and attentive to me. I'm really in love with him. I think it's a miracle to find love halfway across the planet. I'm in the u.s. and he's from an...
A. 25 April 2015: No he doesn't believe in women's freedom and equality. Do you get to look into his password and delete his friends too? The question is can you accept his male dominated culture? The culture that says if a woman is raped, it's her fault. If a woman ... (read in full...)
He used to go around with girls who did not meet much to him, so could he love me?
Q. I have a buddy who is a guy. We have been friends for almost 10 years and we kept in touch through social media n chatting apps as I moved away for higher studies. Recently, he confessed that from the time we met, he liked me but could not muster ...
A. 22 April 2015: Whenever I see a guy who is completely two-faced towards women whom he sleeps with, and one whom he's going to behave like a gentleman, I smell madonna/whore complex here and I would stay away from guys like that. I don't want his love because I ... (read in full...)
I never had the chance to confess my love and to ask if she'll give us a shot! Do I keep this bottled up or go confess?
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently wrote here asking for advice on asking my highschool crush out, whom i haven't seen in a while. I decided to bide my time and wait a few months till i've change and decided to focus on career instead. A few weeks ago I deci...
A. 22 April 2015: There is no use regretting. There is no guarantee that even if you had asked her out that would result in a great relationship. A relationship does not start with confessing love. You may be infatuated with her but to love someone that takes time. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks he can't trust me and that I love someone else. I don't! Help!
Q. OK, I apologize but this is probably going to be very long. My boyfriend and I were together for just under 2 years. We fell fast and hard for each other. After dating for five months, he moved in with me. Everything was great. We were so in ...
A. 22 April 2015: I think he's an emotional wreck. I think he misses you. He came to your place just to see how you would react. My husband was very insecure at the beginning but he would never disappear and leave me hanging. He's happy. In a way my husband is like a ... (read in full...)
Could my lack of sexual interest in him be a problem for our relationship further down the line if I got back with him?
Q. Okay so my ex boyfriend and I broke up a little over a year ago. It was a mutual decision as we'd been together 5 years and were not getting along too well. At first, we cut all contact but we live in the same town so it was obvious we would...
A. 22 April 2015: You can only hope that "not getting along well" was a reason for your disinterest in sex. Almost with any new partners, sex is fresh and exciting. When you've been with a person for a long time, you have higher demands and it's only when your ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain it to me? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded?
Q. I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a...
A. 22 April 2015: It is indeed a strange dynamic because I don't know of anyone who pays to go on a trip just for sex, maybe celebrities. Even if the girls are not attractive, is that a valid reason to not be tour buddies with them? It's only justified if the girls ... (read in full...)
I've been ill since he left!
Q. My ex boyfriend left me 2 weeks ago after 7 months together. Its a complicated story. We were first together for a year and a half over 2 years ago. He was in the army at the time and was constantly cheating on me. He was always still so loving but ...
A. 22 April 2015: All this time he had been making promises he couldn't keep. I bet when he met you, you became his escape from his failed relationship but he didn't really have anything real to offer you. His sorries were empty and meaningless. Last time you tried ... (read in full...)
Am I always dating immature girls who need to be treated like garbage for them to like me back? At what age do girls grow into women and start appreciating 'nice guys'?
Q. My relationships always end up in disasters because of my one-track mind. I tend to be quickly really into the girl I'm pursuing and every time she is turned off by my 'niceness' and attentiveness, causing me to pull back and make her seek my ...
A. 22 April 2015: Immaturity can be a factor. The other one is that there is a pattern that nice guys go through. These girls might have been with jerks and had their hearts broken. Nice guys are targets for these girls to gain confidence again. So they might not be ... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is addicted to porn but wants to stop?
Q. I recently started dating this guy who I really like. He is very honest, and after we had gotten to know each other quite well told me he has an addiction to porn which he is trying to quit. I dont have much experience with relationships, s...
A. 22 April 2015: He did not ask for space. He's afraid with space you would lose interest and start dating someone else, which is well within your right to do so. It's also not your responsibility to fix his issue. He might have sexual guilt and shame towards this ... (read in full...)
I am a stay at home mum, whilst studying a degree - my husband doesn't understand how hard this is?
Q. Dear Cupid, My husband and I have an 18 month old little boy who at the moment has really start to test what he can and can't do. I am a stay at home mother and have been since the day our son was born. I have been studying a degree part time...
A. 22 April 2015: I know of a few house husbands who complain about the boredom and the work involved with childcare. I think he knows how hard you are working but refuses to acknowledge the fact because it means he has to chime in with the housework. He's not ... (read in full...)
My Gf has serious anxiety issues (being treated) but what is the right way to talk to her so I don't increase her anxiety?
Q. My girlfriend has serious anxiety problems (diagnosed and medicated) and just doesn't respond to things in ways that make sense to me at all. She is in the middle of finals now, and her anxiety is apparently through the roof. Well, the other ...
A. 21 April 2015: You did nothing wrong. She blames her emotional problems on you. Her brain has trouble regulating strong feelings. A simple thing you say would be twisted to have negative meanings. With no sleep she's bound to be cranky too. Once final is over she ... (read in full...)
What motivates people to cheat? Especially why do married people cheat?
Q. Hi all, ive been asking myself this question and i dont seem to get an answer. Why do married people cheat most. Why cant a person get out of a relationship than to stay when they are unhappy, than to sleep around with whoever thet meet?...
A. 21 April 2015: Cheating is not a motivation but rather a temptation you can't deny. It's not like one is going to say, "today is a new day and I am getting some new thrills, whoever that is." It's rather like, a situation came up, you had one too many drinks then ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain it to me? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded?
Q. I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a...
A. 21 April 2015: It's hard to answer because I was not there. Maybe he's pleasant looking and has a cute voice. Even if he's trying to be a jerk it doesn't register to people because they find no reason to be mean. Maybe his behaviour would seem odd and it only ... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed with how long it takes J to text back. Would it be wrong to start dating M while dating J?
Q. I have been dating someone (lets call him J) for about 2 maybe 3 weeks, and it hasn't made progress yet. Before I started dating J,I was hooking up with a guy( lets call him M) I knew from high school, but stopped since I thought that me and J was ...
A. 21 April 2015: I think I would just forget about J and date M. You are interested in J's potential about nothing is happening. Not talking regularly is a sure way to show disinterest and for you to lose interest. If you waited for J then he finds out you were ... (read in full...)
He is a pragmatist while I still hold onto the ideal of romance!
Q. My boyfriend sees marriage as a long term partnership. He's very logical in his views of it. We were having a discussion last night where he told me the reasons he was with me (but taking out sex and that) - because he enjoys spending time with me, ...
A. 19 April 2015: I think at the end of it, you both agree with each other but you would prefer he talks in a different manner, such as you are his soulmate and you are destined to be with each other. The first time he saw you he knew you were the one. Today you are ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain it to me? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded?
Q. I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a...
A. 19 April 2015: I think there are men who are two faced about "sluts" because sexually they need them, but in their minds they can't respect them. You know how some men pay for prostitutes or transsexuals then the next morning they feel all disgusted? Some ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain it to me? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded?
Q. I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a...
A. 19 April 2015: I don't think he's being a jerk and I believe the girls were mad because they paid for the trip, did meticulous planning then the result was disappointing. Those two girls probably had bisexual tendencies and they picked him because they knew him ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my boyfriend might rather be with the ex than me
Q. Me and my boyfriend got together in september. He took about 5 months to make it official. All in all we've been together for 8 months. He had a thing with a girl that goes to our university. They were really close and she stopped the fling an...
A. 19 April 2015: He declines to be her friend, that means he's over her. You are with each other for 5 months, you can only speculate that the hot and cold behavior is typical of guys. They need space to breathe to miss you. Right now all you can do is make the best ... (read in full...)
Are arranged marriages successful?
Q. Heyy! So, my parents are setting up an arranged marrige for me. I know this guy and yes he is a great person but, the thing is i cant imagine my self married and leaving my loved ones(he has to travel alot due to his job). I need help!...
A. 19 April 2015: Parents have their wisdom from life experience but some do make mistakes. It is not unheard of that some of them picked a husband who turned out to be gay, or abusive. Men who have to travel a lot have to stay away from temptations, and decline ... (read in full...)
I left my abusive ex, so why am I in so much pain?
Q. Dear all. Your views would be much appreciated. I don't understand what's going on with me. In breif, I finally got out of an emotionally abusive relationship around six weeks ago. The ending had been on the cards for sometime. My ex bf used to ...
A. 18 April 2015: That sounds like PTSD. A little trigger like his voice and seeing his number on your phone could bring back memories to haunt you. It's like your body prepared itself to be in survival mode because it thought he's back again. Keep reminding yourself ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him about what we have happening here?
Q. A few months ago I ended up sleeping with my friend after we both got drunk at a party. Since then we've been hooking up semi regularly, I sometimes stay over at his house and we always have sex and fall asleep cuddling. However I've had feelings ...
A. 18 April 2015: At this point, the only response you want to hear is that he has develop feelings for you too. A guy who has feelings for you would make it clear. He would tell you why he likes you and whether you two should be dating. He would not be so casual ... (read in full...)
I can't imagine my life living in his crowded house!
Q. Dear aunts and uncles.. im having a dilemma about my relationship with my fiance And i need some wise advices and opinion from other perspective. Perhaps it will shed some light for what should i do. Well ive been with my fiance for over 5 years...
A. 18 April 2015: How did you know it's possible for his parents to buy you a new home? Your parents have a better business and can live comfortably, so doesn't it make sense that they buy you a new home?
You have no mention of what your parents say in your last... (read in full...)
Is he still interested after an argument?
Q. I had been seeing this guy for a few months (he had a mad crush on me for nearly a year before we started to 'date') and we had an argument (he was pretty upset) and he said that we won't work if we were in a relationship because we aren't ...
A. 18 April 2015: If he says you are incompatible you have to believe him. He might be interested in some cheap thrills or attention on an odd lonely night, but if you want something serious you can't count on him. You are reading into things hoping for more, which ... (read in full...)
I feel he has crossed an invisible barrier somehow.
Q. Please help. Apologies for the length of this but I want to give some detail so you can give better advice. The problem is that my new relationship is going rapidly downhill and I don’t know why. I’m starting to wonder if my new partner might be...
A. 18 April 2015: That's the classic idealization and devaluation cycle. When he wanted to marry you after one month that's idealizing you and now he criticizes you whenever he could. This is what people with borderline personality does. They keep you hooked on the ... (read in full...)
My husband is acting weird and distant and I can't figure him out! Should I get an attorney?
Q. Dear cupid, I have felt distant from my husband for some time now. He always did have a low sex drive so I don't think he is cheating!?!? Anyway.. I can't figure out where the feeling comes from. It might have several factors in play here. It c...
A. 18 April 2015: Maybe he is gay and living a double life, and that the only motivation to get married to a woman is to please his traditional parents. I think separate finances work fine and the couple can still be romantic, but not when he uses that as an ... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend agree to come to a fetish club with me?
Q. I've been with my girl for 6 years now.She knows about my fetish for rubber clothing. We do normal things together ,like cinema, restaurants. But I want to experience a fetish club, which she's not into.I've asked her to go with me, just once is ...
A. 17 April 2015: Maybe she thinks you are going to admire those women in rubber clothing and she just stands there feeling jealous and neglected. It's a similar thing as going to a strip club. She feels she is not enough for you. It's good that you ask her rather ... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself falling for an older married man?
Q. Please don't judge me on this, but I'm falling for an older married man. I see everyday and can't avoid him (tried not possible). At first I noticed him watching me all the time, then he would offer to help me out all the time which I admit al...
A. 17 April 2015: Maybe you've been single for a long time and he's the closest you could get when it comes to companion? Is there a difficulty for you to meet other guys?... (read in full...)
I can't imagine my life living in his crowded house!
Q. Dear aunts and uncles.. im having a dilemma about my relationship with my fiance And i need some wise advices and opinion from other perspective. Perhaps it will shed some light for what should i do. Well ive been with my fiance for over 5 years...
A. 17 April 2015: I thought you had wanted him to propose on your last birthday. Maybe this proposal is a gesture to show you he's still devoted to you, so you won't feel so insecure in the relationship. You broke up with him last time due to the same issue then you ... (read in full...)
Her parents don't approve of our relationship!
Q. Hello I've started dating a girl who is of a Sikh background, I'm English (no religion too), and she told me in their culture it's supposed to be disrespectful for a girl to have a boyfriend or something similar, which i find sexist and ridiculous ...
A. 16 April 2015: I think you should leave these people alone and not try to contaminate their bloodline. She's basically telling you that she's listening to her parents and that she will date you until her parents tell her she's ready to get married to a sikh man. ... (read in full...)
I'm a freshman, he's a senior, I'm pregnant! How' do I tell him?
Q. I'm a freshman in college, and about a month ago I met this guy who's a senior. We hit it off instantly, and after about two weeks of messaging and occasionally hanging out, I went to his room one night and we ended up hooking up. I was a virgin ...
A. 16 April 2015: You should go to the clinic to confirm the pregnancy, and determine which stage you are at. If you have regular 28 day cycles, your fertile days should be day 12-17. You had sex on day 21. While conception on that day is not impossible it's ... (read in full...)
Why continuously flirt if you don't mean anything by it?
Q. There’s this guy I used to work with, I now work for another company but in the same building and the same floor as the guy does, well, he passes by my office everyday and takes the stairs when there’s an elevator he could take that’s even closer to ...
A. 15 April 2015: I think he really was sick and he's someone who needs to shut out from the world at that time. He only wants people to see his upbeat side. Maybe he worried you'd forgotten him already and moved on to someone else. So suggest lunch again and see ... (read in full...)
Does porn viewing encourage men to treat women with disrespect?
Q. Does porn viewing encourage men to treat women with disrespect. At times I notice my partner becomes somewhat disrespectful and dismissive of me. At times it almost seems like a little contemptuous . Without fail , everytime I have noticed this , I...
A. 15 April 2015: I think it's more like disrespectful men continue to watch porn regardless of how their wives feel. He's not nice to begin with. If porn has the ability to influence how a man thinks, then their wives would actually thank them if they can screw like ... (read in full...)
I found out he liked me but now he's stopped speaking to me
Q. So, I've just moved schools about four weeks ago. I met a boy -my neighbor- and we attend the same school. I wait with him and a few others at the morning bus stop. Anyways, I found out he likes me through a friend and now...well, he isn't talking ...
A. 14 April 2015: You are at an age when you can like someone as much as you want but don't have to do anything about it. Blame it on inexperience and nerves. Probably he knew his friend told you that he likes you and he got embarrassed. What is your goal here? ... (read in full...)
How can I set some boundaries for my boyfriend without him getting angry?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and I wondering where is our relationship is at right now. We have been fighting for awhile and we sometimes said thing to each other that we either mean or don't mean.today he ask me if he want ...
A. 14 April 2015: He is talking from the little head down there. He won't be angry because you say not to him, but because you said yes then fell asleep. It made him feel like you were disinterested and bored with his penis.
When I was 16, I had no interest in seei... (read in full...)
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