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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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My boyfriend's parents aren't taking proper care of his little sister and I'm worried he may try to gain full custody of her!
Q. Hey everyone, This isn't a typical dear cupid topic, but it's about my boyfriend and his relationship with his family so I guess it's something.. Anyway. My boyfriend(20) of 4 years is seriously considering contacting social services about...
A. 23 June 2015: No one is so absent minded to have forgotten to pay electricity bill. They are beyond forgetful. It makes me wonder what they are really doing long distance. And to say they don't care if the 10 year old has no electricity, hot water and heat in the ... (read in full...)
He claims to have picked me over all these gorgeous women but compares me to them anyway! Should I be flattered or hurt?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few months and there is something that is starting to get me down. I'd like to know if I'm right to be a bit upset about it. We met each other on a dating site, we get on quite well and we are both very open p...
A. 23 June 2015: His friend doesn't sound like he's attached, or if he is, he won't be the devoted type. I know the kind that tries to tell people, "you could do better." And that's the type who's jealous. My brother had a girlfriend (now wife) and she looks ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents aren't taking proper care of his little sister and I'm worried he may try to gain full custody of her!
Q. Hey everyone, This isn't a typical dear cupid topic, but it's about my boyfriend and his relationship with his family so I guess it's something.. Anyway. My boyfriend(20) of 4 years is seriously considering contacting social services about...
A. 23 June 2015: You mean your boyfriend can't go into their house and turn the power back on? Are they saving on bills or something? Can your boyfriend help pay their bills?
Your boyfriend is living independently, and his sister is alone for the majority of the ... (read in full...)
Dating for three years and no sex despite my efforts to initiate! Why isn't he interested?
Q. Hi. I have a question about my relationship with my bf. We've been together for almost 3 yrs now and we rarely ever get sexually active. We haven't had sex yet. Neither one of us has had it before and when we try we don't get very far. He is 27 and ...
A. 23 June 2015: I actually think that some guys can have such low esteem that they would rather go without sex. The fear that some girl would laugh at his small penis, criticize his performance would kill him. It's much safer to abstain than to suffer humiliation. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been talking about a "two-year itch" and I'm worried he's had enough of me!
Q. Please help, im feeling really lost and starting to doubt myself. So been with my o/h for two years, prior to getting together we had been really close friends for about 13 years. We had been amazing for a while, but for about 6 months he has been ...
A. 23 June 2015: If he's been with lots of women and had done a lot, then it would be hard for him to get hard for the same woman after years, and be satisfied. His player ways and women throwing themselves at him had spoiled him. He has a pattern of looking ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says the spark is gone, she wants to see other people then calls me crying wanting to know if I love her. What am I doing wrong?
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for a little over two years now. Everything started off great until about the one year mark. She started acting differently. She seemed to be unamused, bored, and irritable. Nothi...
A. 20 June 2015: You are not doing anything wrong. I bet she was bored, unamused and irritated before meeting you and had thought that a relationship could lift her from that forever. Now that the honeymoon period is gone she's blaming it on you that her life is no ... (read in full...)
I'm experiencing some stress but my boyfriend gets mad at me for my busy life! Why?
Q. I just got promoted and it's a lot of work! I'm a leader so I take it seriously but all the same, I enjoy it! Yesterday, I had to work 16 hours because someone had an emergency. He came to see me at work briefly which was nice. I got off work this ...
A. 20 June 2015: When I saw the ages I was surprised. He doesn't sound that old. I thought the immature behavior belongs to the generation who demands instant gratification. Some people get irritable when all other people get the attention instead of him. I believe ... (read in full...)
My current Bf claims my vagina is too loose and accuses me of cheating. What else would make it feel loose to him?
Q. I had my daughter at the age of 14 through a c-section.. i have had several of sex partners in the years since then and no one has ever complained about my vagina except my current boyfriend. He believes i'm cheating on him cause he say my vagin...
A. 20 June 2015: I've had one C section and I had not gotten looser. If you are thinking of what changes the tightness of the vagina besides natural childbirth, it is hormonal balance. Athletic people usually have it tighter. You yourself should know if there's a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family keeps telling her I"m not working hard enough and its upsetting her
Q. i had my gf crying to me today because apparently her family keep asking what im doing and telling her i should be doing this ie working more or some shit. it was hard to get information out of her of what exactly is being said. i told her it ignore ...
A. 19 June 2015: You are being tolerant and you handled it the right way. You are right, your girlfriend is too young to separate her family's opinion from her own and what she should have done is keep quiet about it. She has the right to feel upset and is only ... (read in full...)
Ex-wife has alienated my daughter, please help...
Q. My ex-wife and I were separated for almost a year before she filed for divorce. I realize in hindsight that she was using the "threat" of divorce to make me see what I was going to lose in hopes that I would come crawling to her. However, I didn't ...
A. 17 June 2015: It's natural for children to temporarily choose sides with one parent. I don't think it takes 8 to 10 years for a teenager to come by, or it's hard for a 14 year old to know that moms can lie and be vindictive. Your counsellor sounds a bit ... (read in full...)
The "Metrosexual" Guys I Find Physically Attractive Always Seem To Be Shallower Than I'd Hoped?
Q. I have a specific type in guys and I don't think this is wrong (geeky looking, glasses, skinny, short, well dressed, metrosexual ish). I tend to be very attracted to guys I see who look like that though they are quite rare where I live. However, ...
A. 16 June 2015: I think you like the metrosexual type because they are cerebral and more refined than the usual beer and sports kind of men. Even in metrosexual guys there are the petty kind so you just need to pick through them. Young people are trying to fit into ... (read in full...)
Why was my wife so good to her cheating ex partners but I have to beg for sex?
Q. My wife and I are very happily married. However, in the past she was involved in very emotionally abusive relationships in the past where she put up with a lot of cheating and verbal abuse. She told me that she always tried to give more of herself ...
A. 16 June 2015: I think she gave you the answer but it could be hard for you to accept. She had sex to keep her partners, to stop them from being abusive, basically to survive. That was a horrible reason to have sex. She was not a whole person to begin with. Her ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want to move back home, are we headed towards a divorce?
Q. My husband and I live apart and he does not plan to come back home. What is going on? Should we just get a divorce? It all started when my husband got out of the military and was in search of a job. His job took him overseas where he reside...
A. 14 June 2015: I think basically that's what he's trying to say without making it anyone's fault. When he says he loves you, it means you are a good person and your efforts deserve credit but it's still not going to work out. Money is important to him and he's ... (read in full...)
I need advice on my FWB!
Q. I became friends with benefits with my best guy friend. we've been best friends since forever and this wasnt something we talked about and decided to get into. Living together sort of just progressed into more things and then sex. he has a girlfrie...
A. 14 June 2015: I am a sucker for not wanting to hurt people but in this situation, he is still with his girlfriend so there is no excuse. You need to back out. He needs to sort it out himself. If he can't cope with the distance, then it's better to end it rather ... (read in full...)
Do good-looking people stay single for longer?
Q. Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway? I read this in an article a ...
A. 14 June 2015: Yes and no. If you go to a Walmart you would see people wearing relaxed fit and with no makeup.They are buying stuff for families. There's always an assumption that good looking people have higher standards and are less accepting of faults and ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my husband's secret instagram profiles?
Q. My husband and I have been together for a few years now. I don't really question his being physically faithful. We spend our weekends together, he rarely hangs out with friends or looks secretive on his phone. The other day i was going through ...
A. 11 June 2015: If you break up over this, it would not be because he opened a secret instagram account. I assume his account was used for flirting, and not for selling a business or gathering a fan base if he's a performer. He would have told you what it's for ... (read in full...)
Is he too young for me?? 33 versus 25
Q. After seeing the previous question posted about ages, it made me want to ask my own. I am 33 and fallen in love with a guy who is getting ready to turn 25. I've never had a thing for younger guys but he's absolutely amazing. He's everythi...
A. 10 June 2015: My husband is the same age as me but he is a man child, and will never grow out of it. The only thing that matters is he wants you, and nobody else. It's my husband's innocence, and the belief that true love lasts forever that gave me security. ... (read in full...)
Why does it matter so much to him? Was our friendship all fake?
Q. Hello, so I've been talking to this guy (let's call him "Z") I met on facebook for a long time now. We found out after talking nonstop everyday that we are basically twins. We have so many of the same interests and we think the same too. We often...
A. 10 June 2015: I think it's the opposite. He cares, that's why it bothers him that you had casual sex but didn't remember it. Some would say it's rape if you were too drunk to consent to sex, even if you didn't have the awareness to resist.
If you said I love... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I feel hurt that he said he was disappointed - or was he just being honest ?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 3 weeks and all was going well. Last night we made out in his car and he asked me to be his gf, I said yes. After a little while he put his hand under my shirt which I wasn't ready for and I started to shake from nerves. H...
A. 9 June 2015: Of course he could come up with an elegant answer, given a few minutes to prepare. He was on the spot and said what was on his mind. Perhaps he's inexperienced dealing with virgins and how to make them feel comfortable. You are allowed to feel hurt, ... (read in full...)
How do I find a guy who's okay with casual dating but no sex?
Q. I'm 21, and due to a host of reasons (depression/SA etc.) I've never had a boyfriend, though my social life and career is OK again. Or even been on a date. I'm physically attractive so do get offers, but I still want to spend some time on my own ...
A. 9 June 2015: You can find such a person in an asexual website or pansexual. Strangely, people who are gender blind usually would not care less about having sex. They seemed to have transcended it. They can have sex, but their lives are not controlled by their ... (read in full...)
If he truly loved me would he risk losing me while he's away?
Q. My on/off boyfriend and I have been through a lot the past 5 years. We are closer now than ever, support each other, have the same views etc. He is moving to NYC in a couple weeks, a long time dream of his. And I could not be happier for him, I w...
A. 9 June 2015: I guess that's explains why it has been on and off. He knew one day he would leave for New York so he could not fully commit his heart to you. He loves you enough to let you go, and he loves you as a person but as far as sharing life goals together, ... (read in full...)
What do you think his intentions are? Do you think he's interested?
Q. I went on a date with a guy quite some weeks ago, he picked me up and took me me out and then dropped me home. The whole date, he was quite nervous(tapping his foot) and it felt like we had known each other for a long time-I felt chemistry. We ...
A. 9 June 2015: His intentions are to date you again but would not risk rejection so he's waiting for you to contact him. He didn't talk to you before because you didn't tell him what you were doing the day after the date. He assumed you weren't interested. Instead ... (read in full...)
I fell for my friend's ex but I think she was using me to get back at him because he cheated on her with a friend
Q. so i once asked advice about dating my friend's ex-girlfriend. it was well adviced here on cupid.we kept chatting though and we were getting too serious but stil not officially dating. long story short maybe she got talking with my friend again and ...
A. 9 June 2015: It's possible she's using you to get back at him, it's also possible she wants to feel needed and admired, the way she can't get it from her ex. Her confidence was shot after he cheated, and you are the closest person she can get too to feel better ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I feel hurt that he said he was disappointed - or was he just being honest ?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 3 weeks and all was going well. Last night we made out in his car and he asked me to be his gf, I said yes. After a little while he put his hand under my shirt which I wasn't ready for and I started to shake from nerves. H...
A. 7 June 2015: Feelings don't follow reason and you feel what you feel. He's being honest. When you date you will meet different kinds of people. There are purely users. There are people who can have sex and be deep, serious at the same time. There are those who ... (read in full...)
Being a single parent! How to raise a wonderful children (Ages 5 boy and 1 yr old girl) without asking any help from their father?
Q. Being a parent, you will execute anything for the sake of your child, for them to be good with God fearing and always be a good citizen. But how will I enforce all those behaviors alone? I just came from a failed marriage and suffering a bad rela...
A. 3 June 2015: Have you divorced yet? The court would not let it proceed without dealing with child custody and child support so they have the answers for you. If you can't afford a lawyer you can apply for financial aid. I don't care if he's having another ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the trip or not?
Q. I met with this guy at work and we started to date almost for a month and i have not slept with him until last week. We both work at the airlines so taking advantage of free flight benefits his vacation started and after we slept, he asked me out of ...
A. 3 June 2015: He is very passive in this relationship and as it goes on you may see why that is. He may have emotional issues. He is not fighting for the relationship and expects you to drop him any time. Some men ask to be in a relationship not because they want ... (read in full...)
Do men see ''love'' and ''future'' differently?
Q. Do men have different opinion of “love” and “future”? I have been seeing a guy for almost three years. He is constantly telling me he loves me, but lately if feel there is something not right, that I might not be more than a friend with benefits...
A. 3 June 2015: Apparently he sees love and future differently from you do. For you, it means you want to get married one day, be introduced to in laws and his friends. You would talk about houses and mortgage. For some people, love does not require all that but I ... (read in full...)
His friends are so miserable I'm wondering if the relationship can work
Q. OK this is going to be a long rant it seems. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, everything was OK until one night where his friends all turned on me. There was a beer festival in my local town to which him and his friends went...
A. 2 June 2015: The girl who told you not to get jealous, I understand why she doesn't like you. She is the one who is jealous because your boyfriend is with you. But for the whole group of his friends that were mean to you? I don't get it. Maybe that girl spread ... (read in full...)
I'm being put down by my mom, how to deal? Any suggestions?
Q. My mom is supportive when it comes to stuff I need, like she'll get me it but along with it come massive bad talk. I don't know why she enjoys putting me down and telling me this daily non sense always yelling at me. She's always on a lot of ...
A. 1 June 2015: She's conflicted. On one hand she wants you to be successful so there would be less money worries. On the other hand she's afraid that you would be independent and leaving her nest. She would feel lonely, non existent and helpless. She is putting ... (read in full...)
Our relationship has been on the rocks since he got new co-workers
Q. my fiance has decided I'm no longer attractive, not just to him, but to amy other man. We have 2 children together so its not like I can just split up with him. I don't wear make up very often, maybe once a week. He's not normally like this, the ...
A. 1 June 2015: I don't think a woman loses attractiveness just because she gained 30 pounds and became a mother. What he's really saying is, he's not attracted to the change in his lifestyle. Less laughter, less going out, hearing the baby cry and feelings less ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the trip or not?
Q. I met with this guy at work and we started to date almost for a month and i have not slept with him until last week. We both work at the airlines so taking advantage of free flight benefits his vacation started and after we slept, he asked me out of ...
A. 1 June 2015: Yes you should remain contact with him until one of you breaks up with the other. You can express to him that maybe you two have different ideas of what a relationship is. You want him to communicate more. If he doesn't, then you have to decide if ... (read in full...)
How to start all over again?
Q. I suppose all of us even believed in Happy Ending! Right? Is there such thing as "Happy Ending"?! Now, How can I believe that happy ending still happen? If one day the person you love and the one promised you to render you happy in life and happ...
A. 1 June 2015: If you believe in Jesus, he said that to be in the kingdom of heaven, one has to be like a child again. There can be two meanings to this whether you believe in a literal heaven. Having a childlike quality means you are carefree and live in the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend like swinging, me not so much. Will I be enough for him?
Q. The general dilemma is that my boy for three years likes to swing, or likes the idea of swinging. After a few times of play,.. I have realized that I am not so much. about 6 months after we started dating we looked into one of his previous "fu...
A. 1 June 2015: The idea of free unrestricted love is ideal but impractical unless a big group of people live in a commune. That's a place where people also prepare food together and children are reared by different sets of parents. There may be such in Northern ... (read in full...)
So men, does it have to be one or the other? Do you think he just doesn't want me?
Q. I am a good person, devoted and loyal to my boyfriend. Problem is his porn addiction and total obsession with woman, his rude comments hurt and he knows I don't like it, but hasn't stopped. Sex is very rare and mostly he wants oral sex. I'm lonely ...
A. 1 June 2015: Does he usually go limp? That explains why only oral works for him, because he can't maintain erection for vaginal sex. It could be his age, or problems caused by too much porn watching that he could not be aroused by an average woman his age. His ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the trip or not?
Q. I met with this guy at work and we started to date almost for a month and i have not slept with him until last week. We both work at the airlines so taking advantage of free flight benefits his vacation started and after we slept, he asked me out of ...
A. 1 June 2015: It sounds like his friends, and sex come before your feelings. It sounds like it's one excuse after another. I don't blame you for not wanting to give him another chance. If he feels good enough to have sex and to text his friends, he should have ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend barely keep in touch while he is out of town? is it suspicious? It's upsetting.
Q. My boyfriend is away for four days visiting his mother in California. We were together for the whole week before he left. We really bonded and had an amazing time together. Fast forward to the day after he gets to California. He emails to l...
A. 30 May 2015: I would not jump to conclusions that he is cheating. Maybe when he was using the California phone his own phone was charging. Maybe it was his mom's phone. He's doing stuff for his mom, whatever that is, so this trip is not for pleasure, sightseeing ... (read in full...)
He refuses to commit. what needs to change to make this relationship work?
Q. I’ve been seeing a guy for around 7 months. We get on really well and we really like each other, but he refuses to commit. Things have been rocky from the start. When we first met he was still kind of involved with someone else. Even though sh...
A. 30 May 2015: If you didn't get so attached to him, you would have never accepted his excuses and end this relationship, which is never one to begin with. You long to get back to the state where he was sweet to you and coming on strong to you. He is someone who ... (read in full...)
Should I message him? Did I put him off by being a bit aloof in my response to his slightly gushing message?
Q. Hello I met a man through mutual friends and he contacted me via Facebook to ask me to join him at an event. I said yes and we then spent the week before the event messaging each other every day - I suppose getting to know each other. He is ...
A. 30 May 2015: I didn't think you were aloof in your response. I think he is still interested but likes to take things slow so the women he dates would not get too attached. It's also sort of a test to see if you can still be cool and patient. I didn't like how he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend accuses me of being jealous of his niece and blows up at me. Am I wrong to be upset?
Q. I have been in a relationship for three years with a really nice guy. It just seems that I am in limbo. When I ask if we have a future together his response is yes, nothing else. I’ve even asked if I have been wasting his and my time for these ye...
A. 28 May 2015: What does it mean when two strangers in his eyes are jealous of his niece? It means he probably is crushing on his niece but hates to be called out on it. How did I come to this conclusion? All the female friends I know have at least one creepy ... (read in full...)
I met a man online, it started out great, then went south. Advice please!
Q. I met this guy online (long distance) about a month ago. We clicked instantly and have been in contact everyday. We're friends on social media, talk on the phone every other day, text on and off all day and have this thing where we text each other ...
A. 26 May 2015: You are in two minds about this. In one, you know that this guy is a nice gentleman and in the other one you feel all men are the same waiting to take advantage and laugh at your foolishness. You have not totally detached from your ex and still ... (read in full...)
Do you think being set up on blind dates will help me?
Q. im kinda shy guy....i cant talk to girls. i try and try but i fail. im not that social but the friends i have are very supporting and they are very good to me....like me n my friends have a strong bond. im cool to talk to my female friends but not ...
A. 26 May 2015: My cousin met her husband through a blind date. You never know where one of these dates would lead you so don't dismiss them as just "these dates." On a date you try to get to know each other, like family background, life goals, hobbies etc. You are ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend accuses me of being jealous of his niece and blows up at me. Am I wrong to be upset?
Q. I have been in a relationship for three years with a really nice guy. It just seems that I am in limbo. When I ask if we have a future together his response is yes, nothing else. I’ve even asked if I have been wasting his and my time for these ye...
A. 26 May 2015: I would be upset too because I am quite literal about time. It's a courtesy to let the other know you can't make it by a certain time. He is in the wrong here and trying to shift the blame on you. It sounds like you are tagging along in the trip and ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the trip or not?
Q. I met with this guy at work and we started to date almost for a month and i have not slept with him until last week. We both work at the airlines so taking advantage of free flight benefits his vacation started and after we slept, he asked me out of ...
A. 24 May 2015: For now you are not sure if he lied about girls being there, or he really didn't know that girls would be there, until the last minute. Or if he lied because he didn't want you to be worried, or he lied because he was deceitful.
You waited a mont... (read in full...)
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