A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who has the most uncanny ability to be a jerk to specifically women he just hooks up with and still have them at his beck and call. I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's the weirdest dynamic I've ever seen. Most recently, he had a threesome with these two girls, one is a girl he knows from high school who he had hooked up with a few times years ago and the other was her friend. He lives on the opposite coast as them and they randomly invited him on vacation with them to a well known party resort town to be wild and obviously to hook up with them. He's young, single, adventurous, so he went. He was really excited to go. But when he came back, his demeanor about it was different, he barely spoke of it, had no stories to tell. So I started prying about it and he told me the story. He said that his friend from high school had changed drastically since he'd last seen her years before, and he wasn't attracted to her anymore. He said he didn't find the other girl that attractive either. And naturally, because the trip revolved around sex, attraction or lack thereof was an issue. He said he was disappointed which made things awkward at times. He said he went off to do his own thing for the entire day several times during the trip to try to get away from them.He said they got mad a few times cause they felt he didn't want to hang with them. He also said he was being a jerk to them. And when they asked if they could join him he told them they were only there for ONE reason. It's mean I know, I don't condone that behavior but at the same time those girls did take a big risk in putting themselves out there like that just to get laid with a guy who they didn't even really know that well. Even after he'd ditched them on a few occasions and was a jerk to them he said they still tried so hard to please him. I think they thought that putting out and being sexually adventurous would gain them points and have him wanting and begging for more. After the trip, they all flew back together to their hometown and even after he'd been a jerk to them they still wanted to hang with him. He said once they touched down he went his way and never spoke to them again. He said he ran into them in their hometown and avoided them like the plague and didn't even say hi to them. And the girls were pissed about it. He said one of the girls came up to him at a bar and asked him if he was too good to say hi. He said he just shrugged his shoulders. Nothing about his trip sounded sexy. It was just a guy having his way with two desperate girls who he doesn't even like who are jumping through hoops to please him. He said if he could do it over, he would've gone alone or taken a girl he was really into. I don't think he had much respect for them to begin with but my question is why on Earth would girls do this? Why would a girl subject herself to being used and discarded? I guess for some people, on paper, it sounds sexy to travel to an exotic location and have wild sex or whatever. But how is that in any way sexy if the guy doesn't value you, doesn't even like you and after you've performed the act, he acts aloof and disinterested? Won't even talk to you or say hi to you? Btw, these girls are in their late 20's and have careers, financial independence, etc. So they're not super young and they're not completely dumb chicks.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 April 2015):
 It's as simple as this: masochists need sadists. Your friend is a sadist who obliges the masochists he meets.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2015): "Boys will be boys" is often described as an excuse men use to be slutty jerks. I think its partly that.
But its an excuse women use too. If being a slutty jerk is normal for men, then women don't have to take responsibility for preferring the slutty jerks they do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2015): I'm the OP. Cindy Cares you make a great point. Tisha-1. I am not talking about promiscuity. The promiscuity idea is my own personal thing. It's just what works for me. I don't judge others. Of course I've questioned my parents, all throughout my life. But for some reason that was just one of those lessons that at times I did challenge but I always went back to and adhered to. It's just what feels right to me, personally. I don't however, judge others. The thing is that I am not judging these girls for being sexually adventurous and wanting to have fun. I am also not judging him for acting the way he did. I simply and specifically asked why a girl would accept maltreatment in order to get laid.One of my best girl friends is very easy. She's promiscuous. I do not judge her, I love her. She also is pretty random and adventurous. And unfortunately a lot of her trysts end like these girls from this threesome. But the difference with her is that the guys she hooks up with are actually nice to her and they have fun together while the tryst lasts. Even the one night stands. Had these guys been rude or demeaning toward her during their little affair, I seriously doubt she would've had sex with them. In fact, I know she wouldn't. My question has nothing to do with my opinion of what I believe is right or wrong in terms of promiscuity. I don't care, to each their own. My question was specific. Anyway a lot of you offered great advice and I appreciate it. Like you said, Cindy Cares, maybe it comes down to their expectations and their sense of self worth. What they believe they deserve to tolerate in exchange for sex. It was a topic that intrigues me because none of my friends would be attracted SEXUALLY to a jerk like that. But then I hang with this guy friend of mine and I see some of these girls completely enthralled with him. And basically doing things that most girls wouldn't do. Some of these girls have even approached me at times regarding him and they're just like under this spell, almost. Young girls, grown women. You name it. And it just blows my mind...One girl he hooked up with called me one time, asked me if I'd heard from him and "informed me" that he had moved to a different city 3000 miles away. I literally spit out my coffee, he was sitting right in front of me, he didn't move anywhere. Another girl who he hooked up with maybe twice used to call me and suck up to me and offer me free stuff (hair, spa treatment and nails at some salon). Why? It wasn't because her and I were friends. It was because she thought if she was nice to me, she'd gain points with him. I could understand doing that if you are DATING a guy. But because he "let" you give him a blow job a couple of times? Cause that is the extent of this...Like I said, it blows my mind...I don't know, I guess the whole thing amuses me. And I just wanted to hear random insight about it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 April 2015):
 If it's true that being an asshole is a male trait, no wonder why nice guys are not seen as real men. What's the alternative? Marry a boring emotional schmuck as a husband that women don't respect, feeling no spark, probably a having sex life that sucks too? Maybe that's why women go for bad guys. Just a pessimistic joke here.
You know that situation with your friend and the two girls aren't typical and you are asking a general question about it.
He paid for a trip with no guarantee that sex would be good, and after knowing that sex wasn't good he still went for seconds. I am afraid it's not sex he is looking for, but the bitter proof that girls only like jerks. I am afraid his experiment only looked like a botched research, a study with an agenda to prove what men really dread, that girls can only respect men if they are jerks. He may be the jerk version of his nice self.
Sorry, his story fails to convince me that girls only like jerks.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 April 2015):
CindyCares summed it up beautifully. And I have to say it's an odd moral code, that you wouldn't have reasoned beyond your parents rather limited viewpoint on promiscuity. If men get a pass on being promiscuous because of their sexual equipment and gender, then in that world view, ALL men are douches. Hence the only ones expected to "behave" themselves and remain chaste are women. The classic 'boys will be boys' excuse culture. Ah. That's one world I'm happy I don't live in. Take care, OP.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 April 2015):
 I guess we'll have to agree to disagree , OP. Personally, I don't find great logic in what you and anon male say and I'll give you what I hope is a clearer example of what I mean :
where I live there are many Muslim labourers immigrated from North Africa and for MOST of them, Western attire on and all,( it's easier to change an attire than a mentality ) calling a woman a " sexually active single " ( not even a slut, JUST a sexually active single ) or a "broken hymen " is an insult. Because in their mind for an unmarried woman is demeaning to have intercourse. As you can imagine, this kind of insult falls kind of flat in a row with a local girl, and it elicits more an amused smirk than anything else . Still, the INTENT is to insult, to be rude, to show hostility- and if the rudeness and hostility are unwarranted and unprovoked , yes, the men are deemed big assholes. It's the hostile intention, and the lack of integrity shown in spitting in the plate you eat on ( the man engages in the same behaviour he finds morally censurable ) that's disgusting and demeaning . Not the sexual conduct in itself.
Plus, our society is a system of codes AND sub - codes, where some are primary and other secundary.
The primary code is, more or less, " having voluntary sex together is in itself a non-hostile, friendly, cooperative behaviour " - so , expecting a generally non hostile , friendly, cooperative behaviour even from an occasional sexual partner is sort of normal , not such a weird ,unrealistic expectation. Another primary code ( i.e. of general, intercultural, interclassist acceptance ) is " I invite you- if you accept you are my guest - and as a guest you will behave decently ,even graciously"
Your friend 's social or cultural or religious SUB-CODE is " Female promiscuity is bad ,wrong and disgusting, and women that engage in such activities are bad, wrong and disgusting , to such a point of a ) eliciting in me anger, contempt, hostility, antagonism b ) entitling me to act out these negative feelings even if they clash with primary code ".
Based on this , it's guesswork, but it's at least a possibility that these women, or other women like them, dealing with someone like your friend, may simply be taken aback , as in : " I wonder what's wrong with him ? what bug has bitten him ?? Bah. People are strange and incomprehensible at times. Let's carry on acting civilly and see if he snaps out of this."
But,after your update , the more I think about it, the more I feel it could easily be my second guess : the women accept disrespect, hostility and contempt, because they have been taught and raised to not expect any better from men in their life , or around them.
Haven't you thought, OP, that these discardable girls are simply the unchaste , sexualized version of yourself ?...
You say yourself that you have been taught , not only that female " promiscuity " is wrong, - but not male promiscuity . But ,most importantly, that ALL men or MOST men can't feel but contempt , hostility and disgust for women with non monogamous behaviour, or anyway a sexual behaviour different from the male's mother / sister / wife ; that ALL men are douches which will try to exploit sexually and prevaricate on "non angelic " women; that ALL men will only show some basic respect and some basic courtesy to women whose sexual behaviour they approve of ; that basic respect and basic courtesy must be earned by the woman by being chaste- and in short, that it's Ok to be a jerk because ALL men are potentially jerks who'd bite the hand who feeds them ( sexually speaking ).
That's your truth, you won't even consider or doubt that it may be a partial truth, that there could be other alternative realities too.
It's about expectations : you expect ALL men to be potentially arrogant pricks , that's why you have no qualms whatsoever being friends with an arrogant pricks.
The usable and discardable girls are simply your sexually ( hyper)active version . They too , based on what they have been shown and taught, expect that all men are potentially arrogant pricks, so they'll have no qualms in being lovers and sex partners with arrogant pricks.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): I'm the OP. Thanks for the update guys. You all made interesting points. Male Anonymous I know what you mean. That if someone feels they are demeaning you, then no matter how you look at it or rationalize it, you are being demeaned.I also see Cindy Cares point, basically, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. While that is true, if you are participating in the demeaning act then no matter how you feel about it, you are consenting to being demeaned. Janniepeg, he never really said that they are monsters or stalkers, really. Just that he used them, discarded them and was very cut and dry about it. And that they expected the whole thing to be more social and friendly and that he didn't. And he didn't care how they felt about it. Tisha-1 yes my parents taught me promiscuity is unbecoming. I don't know what my folks opinion is of the boy vs girl issue on promiscuity because they had no sons, just daughters. So I don't know what they would've said to a boy. He IS my friend and I don't think he is any more of a douche in these types of situations than most men are. If I offered myself to a guy who I don't even know that well to be used solely as an ejaculation disposal, I wouldn't expect him to treat me like much more than that. And that is what happened. They reached out to him with this proposal and not the other way around. So, no, I don't think he is a douche. I think he was just being a guy.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2015):
"He lives on the opposite coast as them and they randomly invited him on vacation with them to a well known party resort town to be wild and obviously to hook up with them.
"He's young, single, adventurous, so he went."
"I grew up in a conventional household where I was taught that promiscuity is unbecoming."
But obviously, only if it is a woman who is being promiscuous. Ah. Yes.
Of course, that makes perfect sense.
Why would this boy you call a pal subject himself to spending time with women he can't stand? To have sex with them, of course. Der.
The really weird thing is that you are friends with a guy, who if he didn't have a penis, you wouldn't be friends with. Odd.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (22 April 2015):
It is indeed a strange dynamic because I don't know of anyone who pays to go on a trip just for sex, maybe celebrities. Even if the girls are not attractive, is that a valid reason to not be tour buddies with them? It's only justified if the girls were super annoying, talking incessantly with expletives. Does everything have to be spelled out like "I am just going there to have sex, but not go on a trip with you two and you will buy me beer there (to compensate for the bad sex and the bad decision to be on this trip."
I think the girls were talking amongst themselves and saying, "He said what?! What a weirdo, but he's a good fuck though. Maybe he got travellers diarrhoea."
I think what happened is that men are okay with using women, but totally not okay with women using them as sex objects. It's emasculating. It doesn't look right when one guy walks with two girls. He can't be a friend to them because in his mind they are whores, scums of the world. He fakes to be nice to get sex but couldn't follow through with the pretense. In some countries, women are not to be seen. They have to hide, not strutting around showing off their bodies, tempting men. Even wives have to walk behind husbands, with their heads down. I am guessing this guy comes from this culture to have such mental conflict. At the end he only made a fool out of himself and couldn't face them and be honest. If there's a reason the girls got in contact with him again, that's to find out if he's alright, or if anything happened to him, since his behaviour is not normal. This is what friends do. He made it out like they are monsters stalking him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2015): Look at it like this: Some women say its demeaning when a man cums on her face or body. Other women say they like it.
Is his cumming on your body demeaning or not? How can the woman not be demeaned but the guy was still a demeaning asshole for doing it?
If you let someone do something THEY think is demeaning, and most OTHER PEOPLE think they are demeaning you too, then I think its time to give up this idea that you aren't letting them demean you. They ARE demeaning you, and you ARE being demeaned - you just like it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 April 2015):
Strange reasoning, male anon.
He'd be an asshole allright ! ; it's all in the intention.
If in any given situation ,guy X on purpose acts toward me differently from the prevalent codes of social conduct, ( or simply, differently from how he'd treat any other of his lady companions )with the intention of disrespecting me/ showing me contempt/ being rude / winding me up etc... and I am too worldwise / self confident / intelligent / whatnot ..to feel bad about it ,and feel that guy X is more to be pitied than to be blamed for his ignorance,- HIS intention to give offense , or to treat me wrong anyway, still remains.
It's as if he aims at me, he shoots, ...and fails the target ; his intention was aggressive anyway - even if I have on a bullet proof vest and can afford to not care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2015): If the women weren't being demeaned, then the guy wasn't being an asshole either.
And the next question is, how is the question decided?
"Ask the women how they felt about it" is not being fair to the man's side. Either his behavior was acceptable or not. That should not depend on how satisfied the other two people felt later.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (21 April 2015):
Janniepeg raises an interesting point which I hadn't thought of at first.
We are all conventionally assuming that these two girls must have felt crushed and humiliated by your friend's behaviour. But, seen the particular circumstances of their encounter- maybe they did not, and it simply did not register.
I know that surely I would not keep a manwhore hired for the weekend to the same stringent standards I'd adopt for my regular bf. I'd STILL be annoyed that I can't make him act decent and that I am getting bad value for my money, but , at the end of the day, ( shrug ) whatever, as long as he can get it up .
It's the same as when I go to a restaurant and I get bad SERVICE from a rude waiter. It still irks me and galls me, but I only feel that I made a bad investment with my time and money, not that I am being degraded or demeaned . The waiter's rude behaviour says a lot about HIM , not about me and my value as a human being.
Another guess came from a perceptive observation of yours, i.e. that, whatever we have been told and repeated and shown during childhood, at some level sticks with us even if we have changed and matured enough to grasp intellectually that it's wrong or dysfunctional.
If these girls, or other women, have grown up in families and environments where " the boys " will be rude and dismissive, and do their own fun thing without the women, and show in many little ways their basic contempt for the female gender, ..yet the boys STILL will get laid !, - then these women grow up feeling that this it's sort of normal , just par for the course, and they'll come to expect ir and tolerate it with without particular anguish.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2015): This is just evolution. Evolution is not here to make us happy. It's here to make us reproduce.
Young women are biologically programmed to seek the best genes they can possibly get for their kids. If that means compromising on how they are treated in exchange for a hotter sex partner, then so be it. (A good husband/father for the kids is a whole different thing from a good sperm donor. Evolution is perfectly fine with spurring women to end up using two different men for these two roles, even if she never wanted that consciously.)
Most of these women don't consciously want mistreatment. But they are willing to put up with mistreatment for good sperm donor sex. Just the fact that a guy she finds attractive mistreats her is evidence that he thinks he can do better than her. That suggests he is probably a good choice to get herself impregnated with. Mistreatment from a hotter guy makes her even more attracted to him.
Evolution does not know about birth control. People today don't get pregnant as often from these flings. But the programming is still there guiding their emotions & actions just as strongly as it did a thousand years ago.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (21 April 2015):
It's hard to answer because I was not there. Maybe he's pleasant looking and has a cute voice. Even if he's trying to be a jerk it doesn't register to people because they find no reason to be mean. Maybe his behaviour would seem odd and it only piques curiosity. People often assume that if you are up for casual sex, then you would not despise your lovers and that there's mutual attraction and liking. His misogynist feelings are internal but he's able to mask it. If he's able to say "I love you" to girls, then why would the girls suspect that he secretly hates them?
Not many girls would subject herself to be used and discarded. I still think in this story the two girls are using him as an enhancement to their sex lives, but not hoping for more. You can't discard casual sex partners if their view of sex is same as you.
Also about the degrading part, some women like it. It's part of BDSM. It's just role play. I am sure if the girls know how he really thinks they would no longer be interested. Me too as long as it's role play I enjoy some roughness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2015): OP here! Thanks for all the replies everybody! Some of you claim that I am judging him and I am not. I'd probably handle things differently but I try not judge.
For those who question the validity of the story, I am positive it is absolutely true. In fact, he said the reality was even worse than what he described to me. He was just giving me the "G" rated version. I have seen how he treats other girls he hooks up with, and his story sounds about right.
Why are he and I pals? I don't know, we just are. We've been friends for a long time. He has this madonna/whore view of women. He treats women who are easy with him with disrespect. He treats women who are not easy, with respect. While I believe everybody deserves respect, I grew up in a conventional household where I was taught that promiscuity is unbecoming. My parents warned me how cruel men can be toward women who act a certain way and that I should always be very discriminate and have integrity when it comes to sex to avoid that in my own life. So I suppose maybe in a weird way his behavior doesn't surprise me. Perhaps we grew up with similar expectations when it comes to this.
Even though I appreciate all your answers I am not sure anyone in particular directly answered my question, as to why a woman would let a guy treat her like shit? I questioned it because I would hate to be treated like that if I had sex with a guy and cannot imagine any woman would like it. He said he didn't even know one of their names. He would tell them to fetch him a drink when they were out. Purposely wouldn't even say please or thank you. He would go out and do fun stuff and forbid them from joining him. He wouldn't allow them to take pictures and reminded them that the vacation was on the DL, as he didn't want anyone finding out he was there with them. He said he was very degrading toward them in the sack. And once the vacation was over, he turned his back, walked away and never acknowledged them or spoke to them again. I asked him if at any point they turned to him, threw their drink in his face and rightfully told him to go F*CK himself. He said at times they'd act like they were offended and tell him he was being rude but then forget about it and be back at his beck and call 20 minutes later.
And even after treating them like shit, the girls were still trying to hang with him like he was their pal, to which he ignored them. By the way, he did not volunteer all this information, I pried it out of him.
He gets away with this with other girls too. Not girls he likes, just girls he solely hooks up with. And the girls keep coming back for more. Was just wondering why these girls would let a guy treat her that way?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (20 April 2015):
 It sounds like you're into this guy more than those girls. I don't think he was as mean to them as he wants you to believe and I think they all had fun on this trip. Who knows...maybe these girls used him for sex too. I think you like this guy more than you're willing to admit.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2015): I don't understand how guys have this opinion that bad guys attract attentions more from girls than good guys? I never went for a bad guy, never !! Guys like that a re actually a huge turn off for me.
I pick guys based on their good qualities majorly. Of course looks are important, but for me I am not looking for someone striking, just to my taste
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 April 2015):
 I had to read your submittal twice.... in hopes of "understanding" it.... but STILL came away with only this thought: "What difference does this guy - and his behaviour - make, to YOU?"
Sorry I can't offer more....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2015): O.P., I suggest you stop assuming there is anything unusual about this. Many women don't go for men who treat them well. The reason nice guys complain about finishing last with women is because assholes have a habit of finishing first with women.
Not very man guys are bothering to respond to this question. Wanna know why? Because this behavior doesn't surprise us at all. But it's more trouble than its worth getting drawn into a debate about this with other women. Its infuriating when you try to explain the plain facts and get chewed out & blamed for it. Men like this guy are just doing what works and is easy to get whatever they want.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2015):
Sounds to me that he accepted the role of boy-toy then failed to fulfill his part. Maybe he just couldn't get it up and decided to externalize the blame?
It's all in the spin here. You didn't witness what happened on the famous threesome sextraordinary adventure tour. You only have his side.
Which, by the way, does make him sound like a douche. A cad. A whiny boy-toy who failed to deliver. Whichever.
I had the same thought as CindyCares, why are you even friends with him? He sounds like jackass. If if you feel the need to judge the actions (as reported by him aka of dubious truthiness) of the women in this threesome, why would you not also judge him?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 April 2015):
 He sounds like a total asshat and I have had many male friends who at times could be a tad self-centered, but NEVER to this degree. Had they acted like this? I don't think I would be friends with them.
Why do these girls "let" a guy do this? I have no idea. At times I scratch my head and wonder why people who seem smart can be so stupid. This is such a situation.
However, I wouldn't worry about their motives or choices - those girls are stranger and OLD enough to know it's messed up - so is your "friend".
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 April 2015):
I think there are men who are two faced about "sluts" because sexually they need them, but in their minds they can't respect them. You know how some men pay for prostitutes or transsexuals then the next morning they feel all disgusted? Some countries even practice sodomy when premarital sex is not allowed. So you can see a man's need for sex no where matches his ability to love. In cultures where sex is dirty unless married, two faced mentalities are created. FWBs are not that different in his mind. If he said he loved the woman then turned 180 and said they were bitches then he is really a jerk.
There are smart women who need to scratch an itch too, if all of them knew how conflicted and misogynist these men are, we would put a stop to this liberation movement and say to ourselves, being abstinent is not that bad.
My guess is that this guy has zero love in him. It's a horrible thing and hard to believe. He could say the right things and make people love him. Conflicted souls attract caring women to cure them, especially if their dads are emotionally unavailable women see that as an opportunity to fix relationship with "dad."
I don't know, you being a friend to him and apparently he didn't charm you, maybe in his mind you are not a sexual entity but someone he feels he could confide in. Little did he know you are judging him. Maybe he feels proud that he has stories like these to boast, and you feel lucky that you are not those women he bedded.
Intelligence and self esteem are two different things. When children are not properly parented they grow up feeling they are not worth love. Loving a child does not mean just sending them to college. You need to guide them step by step.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (19 April 2015):
Wow, I don't have an aswer for you, just a question, out of curiosity : how come are you still FRIENDS with a douche like this ? How come you are even in speaking terms ?...
You say that you do not condone his behaviour, but , pardon me, maybe in practice you do. Having as a buddy and hanging out with ,say, a notorious crack dealer sends out the message that dealing crack is no big deal in your eyes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2015): Actually a similar personality trait to that of a person who would remain FRIENDS with a guy who behaves like this towards women; the ability to disassociate, in their own minds, that a guy's awful behaviour towards them actually involves them as persons. Same as how you disassociate this person's behaviour from the fact that you are his FRIEND.
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A
male
reader, mfj78  +, writes (19 April 2015):
Your post reminds me of my brother - My brother treats girls like shit yet they come back for more every time. He is sooooo fake, so smarmy and so obviously putting on an act yet grown women, attractive, intelligent women fall for his charms left, right and centre.
Currently he has three girls on the go: one in Canada (he lived there for a while), two in the UK where he lives. All three think the sun shines out of his backside yet he cheats, treats they like shit, lies, manipulates and humiliates them again and again...
Neither knows about the other but when they ring up on the phone its always the same: Him (vomit inducing voice) "Oh hi babes, ah its so nice to hear you voice, ive been thinking about you sooo much, you know how much I love you...". The minute he finishes the call he will say to my parents "Stupid bitch! I'll fuck her a few more times then i'll sack her off!"
All three girls he is having relationships with think he is the most amazing BF and yet he treats them in the most appalling way!
My brother (who lives at home) treats my parents like dirt: our parents are ill pensioners but he has them in tears regularly with his selfish, arrogant, abusive ways. he is the most arrogant, selfish person I have ever known yet when his GFs come around they gush to my parents about how lucky they must be to have such a sensitive, wonderful, loving son...!
My brother once got on top of his GF in a drunken moment of horniness and was sick on her face! She stormed out the room and then came running back crying 5 minutes later saying "i'm so sorry i'm not good enough for you! I deserved it!" WTF???!!!!!
The worst thing for me is that im the opposite of my brother yet I always struggle to get a gf. When ive made a small mistake or said one word out of place I get dumped and that's the end of it. He however seems to get women cling closer the worse he behaves.
He acts a jerk and girls come flocking.
Why would women do this? No idea sorry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2015): I'm the OP. Thanks for the reply Janniepeg. Well it was not that sex wasn't guaranteed. It did happen. But because he was disappointed he admits he was being a jerk, in general, like taking off for the whole day or ordering them around. Not only that, but when sex did take place he says he was very mean and degrading about it. Basically because he didn't care if it happened or not, and since he was being a jerk and they were still kissing up to him, he said he was being even more of a jerk to see how much he could get away with. And they still wanted to spend time with him.
He gets away with this with other girls too. Which is why I asked what on Earth would compel a girl to put up with that?
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 April 2015):
I don't think he's being a jerk and I believe the girls were mad because they paid for the trip, did meticulous planning then the result was disappointing. Those two girls probably had bisexual tendencies and they picked him because they knew him well. Sex is not a guarantee and he is not a gigolo. If girls can say not to sex so can men.
There must be a culture out there that I am not familiar with. You think usually girls sleep with men and hope they develop feelings. In their story I see nothing like this. Both men and women are using each other for sexual benefits and nothing more. The girls' egos were hurt because they had thought men would just for chances like this and when he didn't, they feel like they must be trash. They had this fantasy built up in mind and now their vacation was ruined.
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