A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few months ago I ended up sleeping with my friend after we both got drunk at a party. Since then we've been hooking up semi regularly, I sometimes stay over at his house and we always have sex and fall asleep cuddling. However I've had feelings for him since the day I met him and it's getting to the point where I don't know if we're just friends with benefits or something more and my feelings are starting to slowly grow. Sure, we mostly have sex but in social situations he still sometimes acts coupley (holding my hand, kissing me hello) but our conversations are only shallow and we have never spoke about what's been happening.Should I talk to him about my feelings? Any tips on what I can say without him running for the hills? I'm so afraid of scaring him off because of my past but I'm tired of pretending I'm okay with everything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2015): HiHe may well have feelings for you and is either ok with how things are going or is the same as you and doesn't know how to broach the subject. Or, he may be happy with the FWB situation though and not want anything more.You are not ok with everything, so you cannot carry on having sex until you know. That's how I would feel anyway. What I would do is, the next time things are getting close between the two of you, stop him and tell him that this is no longer what you want. You can't handle the situation as it is any more, because you're feelings have changed. Tell him how they have changed. You can't control whether or not he runs for the hills, you can only look after yourself and how you're feeling and make things right for you and then see how the rest pans out. Good luck!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 April 2015):
 At this point, the only response you want to hear is that he has develop feelings for you too. A guy who has feelings for you would make it clear. He would tell you why he likes you and whether you two should be dating. He would not be so casual about it.
You can not make him develop feelings for you but before you start the conversation you can alert him that you are sensitive and if he's going to let you down gently, then do it in a way that causes the least amount of humiliation as possible. When a person is ready to have sex, then he should have the maturity to be able to talk about feelings. What you have is an attachment to the feel good hormones and chemicals. Do you really see yourself with a guy who gets scared of commitment and communication?
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