A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a freshman in college, and about a month ago I met this guy who's a senior. We hit it off instantly, and after about two weeks of messaging and occasionally hanging out, I went to his room one night and we ended up hooking up. I was a virgin when I met him, and still am. We've done pretty much everything but actual sex. We've hooked up three times since then, and last time we were both sort of drunk and tried to actually do it. He wasn't able to get it in because it was really painful and I stopped him, but he did get halfway in and he did this after I'd blown him. We weren't using protection, and I'm not on the pill. This was a week ago. I was supposed to get my period today, but didn't, so I took a pregnancy test and it turns out I'm pregnant.I don't know how to tell him this. We've only known each other for a month, and I have no idea how he's going to react. He's planning on going to med school and has his whole future planned out, and I know that this could potentially ruin everything for him. An abortion is out of the question.He has a really close group of friends, they all know about the two of us, so I was wondering if it would be best to approach his best friend, who's known him since freshman year, and ask him what would be the best way to tell this guy about our situation.Or should I just go into this alone?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 April 2015):
 Go see a doctor and have a confirmation of the pregnancy, though most tests these days are VERY accurate, a false positive or false negative CAN happen.
So go get PROPERLY tested first.
Then you go talk to him FACE TO FACE (not with a crowd around) You DO NOT tell his best friend and then hope the best friend will pass it along, that is what people in 3rd grade do with little secrets or crushes - THIS is a BIG whopper of a secret and needs to be handled like an adult.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 April 2015):
 I second getting a professional opinion on the pregnancy.
BTW if he put even the TIP In then you are NOT a virgin.
BTW being late by one day is not a good indication of pregnancy but rather stress which can make you late.
And depending on where you purchased your pregnancy test it could be a false positive.
Before you talk to him about it, you should see your doctor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2015): Think about this. Really think.So where do you think his friends' loyalty lies- with HIM or with YOU? So some chick he has had sex with etc and been friendly for a month (in the eyes of the friend) OR his friend of several years?You spill the beans to him,asking him for advice on how to tell say, Adam and do you think,even for a SECOND, that the moment your turn your back to walk away he won't rush back to Adam to tell him himself???You want a truthful reaction from Adam? Put your big girl panties on and tell him face-to-face.But I agree-you need to be beyond 100% sure that you are pregnant. So clinic etc. Also, sadly, many miscarriages happen before the 12 week mark, so I wouldn't shout it out to the world till then. Just make sure you are and then tell him.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (16 April 2015):
 You need to tell him face-to-face. There's no easy way to do it. It will be a shock to him however you tell him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 April 2015):
 You should go to the clinic to confirm the pregnancy, and determine which stage you are at. If you have regular 28 day cycles, your fertile days should be day 12-17. You had sex on day 21. While conception on that day is not impossible it's unlikely.
If the clinic says you are pregnant you should tell your partner in person, and do so matter of factly, without shame. He was halfly responsible and he should have worn a condom. If he is going to medical school he should know that the pull out method is unreliable and that pre cum can cause pregnancy. The conversation would be hard but he has custody rights and he can help you with child support. If you go into this alone and then decide to tell him later it makes it hard to believe you.
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