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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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We got along great, one time of oral sex and now he says I'm vindictive and he treats me like a sister. What did I do wrong?
Q. met a guy about a month ago. we spent a lot of time together, got along great. first time in a long time that I found someone worth trying for. everything was going so well that I thought naturally we should just take it to the next level, as there ...
A. 17 July 2015: Vindictive is the wrong word. That bad feeling must have carried over from his last relationship where they had exchanged heated arguments. I don't think you did anything wrong but maybe you spent too much time together. He should have more ... (read in full...)
Am I being pressured into commitment by this guy?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for almost three months. He's in his early 30s. From the first time we went out he told me a bit about himself, he also mentioned to have been previously engaged. I am in my mid twenties and from that he said I should be ...
A. 17 July 2015: Many men, no matter how great at the beginning, will be Mr Wrong after marriage. They are the ones who impress you at the dating stages. Very active and romantic. Then after marriage they turn into couch potatoes or watch porn. Some go the other ... (read in full...)
What can I do? My Boyfriend's obsession with hot girls on Facebook causing problems
Q. So this is more of a rant than a question, but I would love to hear some other peoples' opinions or similar experiences to mine. I'm 25 years old and my 34-year-old boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. I know, it's a young relationsh...
A. 15 July 2015: It's not a stupid problem. You are best friends. Perhaps you are only best friends having sex, and not really bfs/gfs. That's the real problem here. No woman would ever be perfect for him to stop looking at girls. Women will age, but there will ... (read in full...)
Is it so difficult for a husband to give oral sex?
Q. Hello members, Im an Indian married for 14 years.. everything is perfect.. but my husband has never gone down on me. Ive asked him a million times.. done everything to get him for it. Im very beautiful and good at almost everything.. husband ...
A. 15 July 2015: If everything is perfect as you said then I would not risk jeopardizing the marriage by cheating 3 or 4 times a year. It's simply not worth it. If he specifically asks you to give him head but refuses to give you oral, then I might conclude that ... (read in full...)
Started a relationship with a friend but I don't get turned on by her
Q. Hi there, recently my best friend of 4 years and I started dating and it's great. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, and she feels the same, and it's so nice. The only problem is, I haven't been turned on around her since we first started ...
A. 14 July 2015: I think the electric feelings you've had before was due to novelty. Experienced people would not feel the magic time and time again. It does not mean anything is wrong. I can not talk about lesbian sex and can't relate to it. I don't even know if ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 14 July 2015: I misread your question sorry. I thought your brother asked you questions like these. He's Asian too so why would he be asking. How dare he thinks of his sister that way?... (read in full...)
My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 14 July 2015: I would just answer his question in a general way. Not all women are the same. Not all Irish are gingers with freckles. I think your brother could be jealous. Tell him you respect your wife too much to talk about such vulgar topics. He should never ... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend both had a drunken kiss with other people. However, now he is ignoring me completely. How do I deal with his double standards?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. My boyfriend, a few months ago, made out with a girl for like a minute, and he told me about it and regretted it so much, and I ended up forgiving him. A couple weeks ago, I made out with a guy, ...
A. 14 July 2015: Double standard is when he felt it's okay to drunken kiss a girl while for you it's not okay. He did feel remorse and didn't wish for it to happen again. When you kissed a guy, how much was alcohol responsible, and how much was it due to he did it ... (read in full...)
What are my options as far as my cold guy friend? The only time he is affectionate is when we have sex
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 2 years and he has taken me on some lovely holidays but he has never bought me a birthday card or a present although he has bought me Christmas presents. When asked about this he just says that as he pays for...
A. 14 July 2015: How difficult is it to buy a birthday present, or a lovely souvenir while on a trip? His coldness would make me feel he's just tagging me along on a holiday so he would not have to go without sex. I imagine if I was a guy, and a girl asked me why I ... (read in full...)
Does losing one's virginity cause decreased libido?
Q. Before I used masturbate like once or twice day. Sometimes with porn, sometimes without. However, after losing my virginity a few weeks ago, I have had no desire to masturbate, or sexual desire whatsoever. For example, I check out girls, and i...
A. 14 July 2015: I think it happens to other people too, including women. One factor that increases libido is curiosity. Once that's satisfied you don't hanker after it so much. You want to know what sex feels like, so you are trying to create the real thing by ... (read in full...)
Have I just been very naive in thinking that this girl genuinely liked me in spite of the fact that she has three or four other guys on the go or was it reasonable for me to assume that she had a genuine interest in me because of her explicitly sayin
Q. Hi everyone, so this is perhaps not a very complicated situation (or maybe it is) to call but I just want feedback as to whether or not I have been a bit unreasonable or naive in the following interaction or whether I am justified in my feelings. ...
A. 13 July 2015: Just be careful because there can be two people who are very clear about what they want at the start, but things get blurry later. So just stick with the sex even when the casual girl tries to guilt you with, "so you are just using me for sex, how ... (read in full...)
I do not want to marry or have children. My mother thinks this is an unhealthy attitide
Q. I am someone who does not want to get married or have children and would like to get some input on others who have made this decision. I am not anti social or anything, but I enjoy being and living alone. I work and have friends and go out occas...
A. 13 July 2015: Your mom thinks that because it's your biological imperative to have children. You have good reasons for not wanting to have children. This world is not a healthy place to nurture children. Pollution, overpopulation, and competition, you name it.
W... (read in full...)
Am I seeing this clearly? What can I do? It looks like my boyfriend's mother wants him to emotionally fill her husbands shoes
Q. Hi all, This problem is like a festering wound that will not go away. I feel the relationship between my boyfriend and his mother is a bit unusual sometimes or weird. Now before I go on about what is happening I strongly believe people need to h...
A. 13 July 2015: There's a thing called emotional incest and what they have isn't healthy. I believe you are with him because you feel safe. Momma's boys usually do not hurt women, at least not what your exes did. He's with you because there's of course something ... (read in full...)
Have I just been very naive in thinking that this girl genuinely liked me in spite of the fact that she has three or four other guys on the go or was it reasonable for me to assume that she had a genuine interest in me because of her explicitly sayin
Q. Hi everyone, so this is perhaps not a very complicated situation (or maybe it is) to call but I just want feedback as to whether or not I have been a bit unreasonable or naive in the following interaction or whether I am justified in my feelings. ...
A. 13 July 2015: A school girl can like a teacher. A married man can like a mistress. The only "like" that matters is that you are both happy with the arrangement and agree with the intent of the relationship. If someone talks about threesomes on a first date, you ... (read in full...)
Can I get over this revelation? Three years ago, before I knew her, she gave a guy a bj.
Q. Okay so im 18 and have been with my girlfriend who is 19 for a year. I'm very happy with her, and still am, but recently found out that when she was barely 15, she gave a bj to a guy who she only got with 2 or 3 times, who she knew had a gf but d...
A. 12 July 2015: A blow job with a random single guy, no big deal. But with a guy who's had a girlfriend while just used her as a thing on the side, you might wonder if she has self esteem problems.
If it's done out of curiosity, horniness, rebelliousness, it woul... (read in full...)
On our way home from our second date, we were laughing and chatting, and then, he rushed out with no touch, no kiss, no hug!
Q. This follows on from my last question. We had our second date. He text me the night before to say he was looking forward to seeing me. Last night we chatted n chatted n laughed and I touched his arm and his back and leaned into him and we sat ...
A. 12 July 2015: I see two possibilities. First one is that he's socially awkward and has not touched any females for years and once he's have dates with you, he couldn't control his desires. He had an erection and was totally embarrassed that he had to stop before ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be annoyed by her behaviour with another guy when we were out together?
Q. Hi guys. I recently went on a first date with a girl. It seemed to go pretty well and we even kissed. We have been texting ever since with relative frequency and a couple of attempts have been made to meet again but for various reasons we...
A. 12 July 2015: You might be meeting other friends but I doubt you would hug a girl in front of a first date. What she did was not a huge mistake but it definitely made your first date less romantic. She cared more about this old friend then making a good ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be annoyed by her behaviour with another guy when we were out together?
Q. Hi guys. I recently went on a first date with a girl. It seemed to go pretty well and we even kissed. We have been texting ever since with relative frequency and a couple of attempts have been made to meet again but for various reasons we...
A. 12 July 2015: She could be flirting. She could be showing you how socialable she is so if you don't make a move she has plenty of other guys to move on to, therefore how desirable she is. It's possible she did that to test your reaction. People play relationship ... (read in full...)
How can I be expected to stay in a relationship where my feelings are blunted or ignored?
Q. I am really struggling with my relationship. I feel whenever I do something nice for my boyfriend he doesn't really respond or appreciate it at all. For example if I make a post on facebook where I let known of my care and appreciation for him in ...
A. 12 July 2015: Sounds like he is not over his ex and you were his rebound. If a guy is only attentive in the dating stages and the nice efforts die off once you become comfortable, it means he's after something else but not you. In this case his relationship with ... (read in full...)
My Bf treats me very well. I believe my parents are racist and old fashioned. How can I manage this situation?
Q. I'm 17, and my parents are very intent on me dating inside the race. I think it's stupid and I love my boyfriend. I know I'm young, and I shouldn't be using the word love lightly. But since when did age define your intellect levels, experien...
A. 11 July 2015: There are many different levels of racist. The most severe kind is to actually believe a certain race is less intelligent, more aggressive, and can cause problems to society. A lot of people are racist only on the outside, meaning they would tell ... (read in full...)
What does love feel like? Am I being silly looking for more than what I had with him?
Q. So I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years and on the face of things we had a really great relationship. He really is lovely. So respectful and trustworthy and generous and kind. He would do anything for anyone and I really do love him. The thing is...
A. 11 July 2015: Love cannot be defined and it's different for every couple. I believe in sticking out and putting effort in, at the same time I believe your heart knows and let go when it's time. If you have doubts that resulted in a break up then that's enough to ... (read in full...)
Was he trying to make me jealous by grinding other women in front of me? Why didn't he respond to my remark?
Q. I was at a party and there was a guy who is interested in me.. maybe love me. I like him but not in the way that he does for me. He hasn't told me directly that he does and I never asked. However he wanted to dance with me and not in a good wa...
A. 11 July 2015: Love does not start off by grinding someone's butt. Most people in parties are after a fun time and nothing more. There is nothing to be sorry about. Maybe he was disappointed because the other girl did not leave with him to go to his place. He did ... (read in full...)
Frustrated and not sure what I can do to improve things. what are some options? Our sex life has changed
Q. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. he has always told me I'm sexy and grabs me but over the last few years our sex life has changed. We have sex 2-3 times a week but after I finish, he always expects a blowjob or at ...
A. 10 July 2015: Maybe he won't cum because he didn't want you to get pregnant anymore. Did you just become parents? Kids can be a libido killer, for men too. Research says that men who are dedicated parents have lower testosterone than those who just sit in front ... (read in full...)
If my bf really loves me why does he want me to have sex with other partners?
Q. I've been dating my bf since Jan 2015. I'm 18 and he's 35. Big age gap I know but love has no boundary. My family likes him and him and I know very well that we're each other's life partner. However I believe that because of his age he is too le...
A. 10 July 2015: He loves his cuckold fetish more than you. He is using whatever reason for you to get sexually active in front of him. Such as your age and the fact that you've had exes. None of this is good enough if that's not your thing. It won't be many ... (read in full...)
Married just over a year and since then we argue a lot. What has to happen to resolve this?
Q. I've been married for just over a year now and whilst most of the time things are happy, when my other half and I fight it gets really bad...much worse than it did before we were married. I find when we argue he antagonises me a lot and as a res...
A. 8 July 2015: Definitely better communication and wait for your intense emotions to subside before talking about issues. This is a guy who finds it hard to deal with confrontations. You are thinking he doesn't care about your feelings and doesn't fight for you to ... (read in full...)
Is this a one-sided relationship? My Gf seems to love the things I do for her, not who I am.
Q. Okay so I just want to tell the story of my relationship and get other's input. So I'm a junior in college and studying engineering at one of the toughest universities, so I don't have a lot of time for girls, but I have put as much time as I c...
A. 8 July 2015: When you talk about relationships it's between two adults. I am not saying she is childish but she won't be the same when she graduates and gets a job. College allows people to be away from parents but not all students acquire the skills to live ... (read in full...)
Having issues with my future in-laws choices for a meet-up. How should I handle this?
Q. So my in-laws (to be) have a foreign exchange student visiting them who stayed with them some time ago. She has been at their place all week. They want to drive tomorrow (they are 2 hours out) and visit us and have supper with us at our house...
A. 8 July 2015: I would handle the waitress like she is any other waitress. She can gossip all she wants. I bet many workers chat amongst themselves about customers too. It's the in laws that I question. They are people with small town minds who are disappointed ... (read in full...)
He watches porn but when I try to initiate sex he says he isn't in the mood
Q. I live with my boyfriend of four years. He watches porn but when I try to ininate sex he says he isn't in the mood. I am starting to take this personally as he doesn't think I am attractive. He has also stopped with the affection unless he is ...
A. 8 July 2015: Did he in fact say you are not attractive? If so, there is no point to remain in the relationship. Some people have to drink constantly in order to feel like themselves. They are alcohol dependent. Stress can affect men and women in different ways ... (read in full...)
He told me his booked a night at a hotel for me, should I say I'm busy?
Q. Been on three dates with this Asian man, I'm Caucasian. On the first date he was very pedantic about the fact he wanted to pick me up, and pay for everything, we had some coffee, he then took me to see a movie in which he insisted it probably isn't ...
A. 8 July 2015: In dating etiquette it's appropriate to talk about exclusivity or being official before introducing sex. However, some people think this way, they would try out sex, then to see if you are sexually compatible (testing the car before buying it). They ... (read in full...)
What is more person in relating to people, and why does it get awkward or at times distant when face to face?
Q. Example: you send a tweet or a social media message or a text to someone and when yu meet in person it may be: hard to make conversation a little awkward maybe they may be cold or seem uninterested why cant written communication t...
A. 7 July 2015: Because many people don't really want to meet up in person, unless it's business related and can help them in careers. We live in a world of virtual reality. The easy access to the internet does not mean people suddenly became more sociable. I found ... (read in full...)
What is love? Can anyone help me define true lasting love? How do I recognise true love?
Q. What is love? Do you have to first experience it to know how to recognise it, to understand how it feels? It seems to me as if most couples just go through the motions, they don't actually have love nor really understand it. They get together...
A. 7 July 2015: I think love is a free flowing energy. If you have love in you, then you project your love onto your spouse. She becomes your object of affection where you direct your energy. If you have boredom in your heart, then you bring boredom wherever you ... (read in full...)
What is love? Can anyone help me define true lasting love? How do I recognise true love?
Q. What is love? Do you have to first experience it to know how to recognise it, to understand how it feels? It seems to me as if most couples just go through the motions, they don't actually have love nor really understand it. They get together...
A. 6 July 2015: True love is when you know that there are days that you just go through the motions, but that does not diminish the love you have with your spouse. Like the phrase, after the enlightenment, the laundry. A human relationship is not supposed to take ... (read in full...)
I am having trouble giving up control and it's ruining our love making. What can be done?
Q. I need help, now. My fiance and I have been together for a year and a half and are moving in together soon. We have a problem and it is beginning to seriously affect our relationship. Every now and then she will become filled with love and lust for...
A. 6 July 2015: I would understand if this happens at the beginning stages of a relationship, and you were crazy in love. I would get teary too, but it's the kind that you can't hold back because your hear opens, you feel so touched, and not the problematic kind ... (read in full...)
Am I being difficult and expecting too much? My life is settled, now I'm looking to meet a guy for a relationship with sex.
Q. I went on a first date with a guy of 45. I am 40 with a grown up son, professional and have my own place and ready to date again after concentrating on work and the parenting side of life. I work out and stay healthy and feel very grateful in that ...
A. 6 July 2015: He sounds he's too broke for you. He wanted some but would rather have you take charge in case he got rejected. You can be picky, but be realistic at the same time. If only you could find a single dad just like yourself. I think women survive much ... (read in full...)
Is it totally out of order for me to be feeling like he doesn't care anymore?
Q. Hi I'm in desperate need of some help I'm getting to the point I can't cope anymore. So here's the back story, me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years. I am disabled so I cannot work. We both still live with our parents currently....
A. 5 July 2015: If he didn't say anything about renting with roommates in order to save money, so he could afford some place with just you and him, then yes, I would feel insecure too. 45 hours a week surely is tiresome, but have you asked him how he feels about ... (read in full...)
We parted amicably, but now I'm suffering rebound agony. What can I do?
Q. Help! I've recently split from my partner of four long years of what began as a wonderful relationship yet ended with the two of us bored and wanting out. We parted as amicably as we could, yes there were tears and pain but nothing out of the ...
A. 4 July 2015: You broke up because you thought the relationship got boring. You forgot how it felt like to be in love with her. Now she is dating again she is no longer boring, but a challenge once more. It makes you question why you broke up at the first place. ... (read in full...)
A confusing breakup. Did he go off me or is there a commitment problem?
Q. I have recently been through a break up that I do not really understand. I met an amazingly kind and interesting guy who I dated for 5 months and it seemed like everything was perfect. He was very attentive and always doing his best for me, and me ...
A. 3 July 2015: I think after you said I love him it made him realize his feelings weren't as strong as you. It wouldn't be right for him to continue if he couldn't give you what you wanted. It's the right thing to do to give him thinking space. When he said he ... (read in full...)
How can someone be so casually intimate?
Q. I'm seeing a girl at the moment on a casual basis, whenever were together she's very touchy feely, loves kissing and hugging me and falling asleep on me and all that kind of thing, but insists she doesn't want anythjng serious. I'm a little c...
A. 28 June 2015: If she's in college, maybe a few intimate moments here and there is all she could handle. A full on relationship is too much. If everyone waits till they have time and money for a relationship, they could be waiting until they grow white hairs. Some ... (read in full...)
Does his comment mean he isn't thinking into a future with me?
Q. I have a question about something my boyfriend said, but here's some background first: I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We're both the type who are marriage minded, and he has said he is dating me with the end goal of marriage. ...
A. 28 June 2015: It doesn't mean he isn't, it's just a poor response to whatever you said beforehand. He could have said "our kids". It's a given that all responsible adults try their best to raise their kids to be well mannered, so to suggest that you do so is ... (read in full...)
Mismatched libido. I feel she thinks her needs are more important than mine. I need help. What do I do?
Q. My wife won't come on to me! We are the same age and for years we've only had sex once a month. I've always been the first one to initiate sex. If I don't initiate the sex we won't have sex. I've tried waiting patiently, I've tried explaining...
A. 27 June 2015: Maybe you became new parents and she's overwhelmed with child rearing and also household responsibilities. That doesn't really excuse having sex only once a month. Most married parents still have sex at least once a week.
The idea that men shou... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents aren't taking proper care of his little sister and I'm worried he may try to gain full custody of her!
Q. Hey everyone, This isn't a typical dear cupid topic, but it's about my boyfriend and his relationship with his family so I guess it's something.. Anyway. My boyfriend(20) of 4 years is seriously considering contacting social services about...
A. 23 June 2015: No one is so absent minded to have forgotten to pay electricity bill. They are beyond forgetful. It makes me wonder what they are really doing long distance. And to say they don't care if the 10 year old has no electricity, hot water and heat in the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents aren't taking proper care of his little sister and I'm worried he may try to gain full custody of her!
Q. Hey everyone, This isn't a typical dear cupid topic, but it's about my boyfriend and his relationship with his family so I guess it's something.. Anyway. My boyfriend(20) of 4 years is seriously considering contacting social services about...
A. 23 June 2015: You mean your boyfriend can't go into their house and turn the power back on? Are they saving on bills or something? Can your boyfriend help pay their bills?
Your boyfriend is living independently, and his sister is alone for the majority of the ... (read in full...)
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