A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am having a huge problem. I have been with this girl for a while, and we are very close. However, lately sometimes when we have sex, it only works when I am on top of her. When she gets on to of me, I lose it sometimes. This doesn't happen all the time, but often enough that it bothers the shit out of the both of us. I like this girl a lot. She is a close friend of mine and we have amazing sex most of the time. But this is really becoming a problem and it has only started to happen recently. Is there anything I can do to fix this? She is very attractive and I don't want to make her feel like it's her fault or that she's unattractive. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 August 2008):
 The advice from "anneon" is good, but another factor is that a guy sometimes feels a bit "smothered" when on his back, depending on the girl's position. It happens to me particularly if she leans over on top and puts weight on my chest, then an erection may be lost. One possible solution is not to lay flat - instead, prop up on two or more pillows so that your upper body is inclined but not sitting up. This should help prevent discomfort and also provides a slightly different angle into her vagina that may increase friction, and therefore sensation.
A variation of this is a little tricky, but may provide both partners extra sensation with woman essentially on top. Again, you get inclined against pillows, but your legs are placed up and over her thighs rather than she sitting across your lap. Once this is mastered, the angle of the erection into her vagina is more oblique and greatly adds friction for both. It takes some practice and correct movements, but it's worth it.
A
female
reader, anneon  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 She's got to be moving in the right ways that's key... sometimes if the girl isnt moving right in can cause the man to lose his erection... so you hav eto teach her how to move so it feels good for you. Gotta experiment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): There are zillions of other positions, so why beat yourself up over one that doesn't work? I think you are making a bigger deal out of it than it really is, and I am sure if you tell her that that position is no good for your performance anymore, that she will make the neccessary adjustments. Experiment, and found new ways to please one another, don't let this silly issue spoil your relationship, self confidence and sex life!
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