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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey i am 15 and my gf is 14.The other day my girlfriend said she wanted a baby. I was shocked at this but also happy because it means she loves me enough to wants kids. We spoke about this some more ans she is serious. She also says that a child would bring us closer together and show that we will be together for ever.Problem is i think we might be a bit to young for children, and we not even kissed yet. She says she is saveing it all for the time we lose our virginities to each other.If she does fall pregnant ill leave school as soon as i can and try and provide for her and our child. I would try and do all i could so after the birth she can go and try and get a higher education.She is also a catholic so she is against abortion and all that. So if she does get pregant.Can i have your thoughs please??All the best James =}
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): wait, WHAT?! as bad as this is going to sound i must say it,,,
WHAT! your fifteen years old! she wants to have a baby and she's fourteen!!!! dont encourage her thoughts!
tell her its wrong, if she's catholic she should want to be abstinant also,
dont waste your life because of a dumb choice you made when you were younger!
its really cute you guys love each other so much,,
but seriously! i cant believe that,, you guys have a lifetime ahead of you,
if your still together after many years and your both adults then yeah
go ahead do all that good stuff, but please dont do it now!!
it could ruin everything for both of your futures....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): Having a baby does not mean u will be together forever!!!
Some kids at ur age regret having sex because a baby is born 9 months later.
Live ur life first! Im 20 and sorry but I don't want to have kids, at least not till im married and have my own home. I go to school and have a job. I recently got my own appartment and I am now looking for a roommate so I could have enough for my damn gas that is so expensive. So imagine having a baby in your terms. I grew up around plenty of babies and it wasn't pretty.
My sister has 3 kids and she just turned 23, her oldest is 6 and her youngest is 1, she and her husband barely moved out of my parents house. They finally saved up enough money to get the heck out of there. But I know my sister wishes she would have waited, there's so many things she would have wanted to do, but anyways now my parents house is peacefull once again.
These kids get annoying as they get older, they wear u out. U should definetly wait till ur done with school.
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A
female
reader, IndecisiveRos  +, writes (20 August 2008):
James,You have your whole life ahead of you. You have years and years and YEARS before you will get married and have children, right now you guys should just be focusing on being young and having fun. If your girlfriend doesnt listen to you, dump her. By no means have a kid now, it is NOT worth it. I know someone who is a teen mum. After the baby was born the dad pissed off, she dropped out of school. Do you know what she's doing now? She has to work 10 hours a day every day to make ends meet, and her mum has to take care of the kid. She has no real training and her friends abandoned her. Do you want that to happen to your gf?I hate to tell you, but the world out there is really unfair.
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A
male
reader, Gary-B  +, writes (20 August 2008):
Hey I agree with all the other answer below!!
You're too young your girlfriend is too young!!
Let's say you got that Baby and you're happy!!
can you work and buy this baby's needs!!
can she give all her time to that baby!!
I mean you didn't even complete your education!!!
go talk to her!!
say that it is impossible!!
If you still together after 9 or 10 years you can marry and have couple of children!
if she won't agree you have to find a solution!!
you gotta get out of this relationship!!
Love Gary
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A
female
reader, belladonna123  +, writes (20 August 2008):
Yeah, I have to agree with everyone else. Honey, this girlfriend of yours may be sweet and all that, but that is the little girl in her talking. This should be discouraged immediately and you're absolutely right to think you're too young. you both have lots of growing up to do. Maybe in like 8 years or more if you still feel the same way then go for it, but this should be the furthrest thing from your mind right now.You have to talk to her and if she doesn't understand then, you need to think about getting out of the relationship.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 You two have to realize that real life isn't easy.
I go to college, I go to a part-time job, and I do try to pay for all my bills on time, but I live in a crappy apartment and I do not go out much because I'm too busy and I want to save up money for more important things. I miss in a lot of stuff, like going to the movies or buying stuff for me. Sometimes, it's incredibly frustrating and I wish I had more help, but I don't; just my boyfriend's who I'm lucky to have the company of.
So please just realize that a baby will make things even harder for you. It's already hard for an older couple to raise a child (I'm not saying it isn't rewarding, but it is hard) even when they might be prepared for it. Actually, even if the couple has financial stability and a happy marriage, having kids it's still hard work. They're not play things: They whine when you don't want to. They wake you up when you want to sleep. They put you to your wit's end and don't leave you in peace.
I think what you imagine is the three of you, in a picture, smiling and feeling all happy, but the reality is that after the picture will come another sleepless night because the baby was feeling alone and waking up at 5 a.m to work 12 hours so you will get paid 6 bucks an hour. It will not be pretty.
Yes, you might end up in an low-end job getting paid almost anything and probably in walefare. You can't rely on getting lucky.
I'm going to confess you that I too wish I had a baby. Ever since I saw my niece (by law), I have been wanting a baby so bad, but I know that I can't have one yet. I want to have my baby when I have a stable job and a good marriage (which I have one to go), because I want the best of my baby. And if you want to have a baby, it will not bethe best thing for it.
So don't have a baby. And if your girlfriend doesn't "believe" in anti-conceptives, then don't have sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): OMG I HAVE ACTULLY JUST HAD TO PICK UP MY JAW FROM THE FLOOR JUST THEN!!
Jesus Christ what planet are u on!!
It’s a terrible idea to have a kid at your age if I had a baby with every boyfriend I wanted to ‘become closer to’ I’d be a mother a good few times over!!
And NO having a baby with each other dose not mean you’ll b together forever mine & hundreds of other parents have broken you!!
And sometimes a kid can actually cause a split!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Oh my goodness. Please, please listen. Yes, you two are way too young for this. It will change your life forever, and you only have one life on earth. You may not even finish basic schooling, much less obtain an advanced education, so you will likely spend your entire life in low paying jobs with little possibility to really enjoy the better life that a good education and income would provide. Trust me, I know this from personal experience.
While I was eventually able to accomplish a good deal through my photographic talent, it was ten times harder because I got a girlfriend pregnant at age 17 and got married. Only with the talent and an incredible series of lucky breaks, I eventually was rather successful. But don't count on luck. Stick together and enjoy your teen years building your relationship, then when you both are more mature and hopefully well educated, the world will be yours.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 James, I have a baby and it is hard work, but one of the most rewarding things you can do is become a parent...just not at your age. You need more than a loving relationship to be a good parent and it comes down to the boring stuff like having a solid home, finances etc. You cannot provide any of that at your age as if you dropped out of school then you would have a dead-end minimum wage job if you were lucky, or be on welfare. There is no reason you two cannot have children in the future but live a bit of life and finish your education first. If GF is a strict catholic girl and won't use contraception...don't have sex before marriage, simple as that.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Have you taken leave of your senses?
My brother was 15 when his daughter was born. She is 11 now and he has nothing to do with her. He was too young! But he still has to pay child support for her!
Where are your parents in all this?
Some things shock me on here, even after a yr.
Please get a grip. Children having children is one of the issues destroying us as a nation. I can guarantee you will regret it if you let yourself get railroaded into something so serious. Babies aren't proof of love. They are hard graft! Trust me, i have a 13 and 11 yr old. They exhaust you when they are young and cost you a fortune!
Get engaged maybe????
C xxxxx
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