A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. Me and my boyfriend are both virgins and we plan to have sex soon. We both really want to but I'm sensing he is a bit more nervous than I am (because he says he wants it to be really amazing). Do you have any advice about how I can REALLY turn him on? Any tips (from men or women) would be very much appreciated.Thanks in advance xxx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Turning him on won't be a problem. You're a girl, you're his, and you're naked with him. That's already as much as he can probably handle.
For one thing, just get a good opportunity and get rid of the side problems. Set it up so you won't be interrupted, you won't run out of time, one of you won't end up having to dash back to their place for clothes & shower supplies later, etc.
Tell him not to masturbate for a several days beforehand. (He may have a difficult time with this demand.) It may render him totally unable to keep from cumming in his pants before you two really get going the first time, but it will also make him more able to go several times in one night.
If he goes into it with that much pent-up desire, it may also be best to make him cum first once during foreplay just to calm him down a little. (Maybe suck him off. If you're not familiar with this yet, BJs are a whole subject by itself. But it's not always really quick & easy for a guy to cum this way, despite what the media & culture acts like. So it's likely to work better when he's this horny.)
That's what he needs.
What do you need? Well, first and foremost you'll need him to BE VERY, VERY GENTLE with the actual penis/vagina intercourse. You many need lube and there may be a little blood anyway.
Get tons of foreplay, get him playing around with your vaginal opening with his fingers or a dildo for a while first, etc. Get used to feeling him messing around down there for a while. Don't always watch what he's doing, just try to FEEL some of it. When the first actual penis entry and intercourse begins, you're more or less handing the responsibility of your vagina's comfort over to him for the most part. So get yourself comfortable with him being down there, and get him familiar with what you do or don't like with it.
(And by the way, if he doesn't already know this, tell him way ahead of time to FORGET EVERYTHING HE'S EVER SEEN IN PORNOS!!! You sure as hell don't want him thinking that you'll like it better if he's "pounding your pussy" like a jackhammer.)
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (22 August 2008):
For the vast majority of couples, especially when both are virgins, the meaning, significance, and enjoyment of first-time sex is emotional and mental, not physiological.
This is a common question around here. Find my post in the thread "How can I make my first time having sex enjoyable?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-make-my-first-time-having.html and read it, as well as the links I gave at the bottom of that post.
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A
male
reader, pursuit of happiness  +, writes (22 August 2008):
First time sex, especially among two vigins is very unlikely to ever be "amazing", at least in comparison to sex between two experienced participants, however first sex can be special and that's about being with the right person in a relaxed enviroment and may be going again if things don't work out at the first attempt. Don't pressure yourselves too much, being good at sex, is like being good at sport, it take practice - practice is fun though!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Both "lexilou" and "DiovanLestat" have provided excellent advice here. I tend to cut-to-the-chase except when trying to describe specific techniques. The first time, it will be "truly amazing" for him, but probably less for you because you may not reach orgasm (unusual if you do). But not to worry. If possible, you can eventually encourage him to learn more about the advanced ways to please a woman, such as the many arts pertaining to foreplay and cunnilingus. Many topics that will help are archived on DearCupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Lexilou is perfectly right in everything she says. Sometimes we get so worked up about things and end up very disappointed because they're not as great as we were lead to expect.
For first time virgins, it is very important for the girl to be relaxed and happy. Don't forget to use condoms, because you need to get the basics right and not have to worry about pregnancy. Plenty of lubricantion, (lube) will also help, get your guy to put it on his penis and put it inside you. Remember, inside your virgina is small, it's never had anything placed inside so it will hurt. You may bleed, you may not, and for many women it's a little painfulll and not to great. Your boyfriend will get excited, no matter what you do. Young boys get excited by girls, there is little that you need to do to turn him on. Taking of your clothes, hugging him, touching him, kissing him, for a guy all of this is enough. But he and you will be nervous, because it is all strange and new. You are the most important one here, because it won't hurt him (it may not hurt you) and he will definately get pleasure (whereas you might not)
Something special to turn him on.. well keep telling him you love him, don't get upset and make it as fun as you can. If things go wrong, well who cares, you can have fun next time. As long as you enjoy yourself, as long as he arrouses you and gives you an orgasm he will enjoy himself, so get him to play with your body first, try to relax and get him to give you lots of foreplay before you start.
A really romantic thing is to look into each others eyes as he penetrates you, and don't look away, so you can get lost in each others souls and remember that you are virgins who are in love and you are giving each other something very special to the both of you. Tell him to take his time, and ask him to go slowly with you. If you enjoy yourself he will be pleased. Forget about the movies and anything you have seen and heard. It's much more messy and intimate than that, you become closer to him than anything else you could have imagined. Enjoy yourself, have fun and he will be turned on and have fun too.... Good luck, I wish you and him well... Blessings.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (22 August 2008):
 My advice is not to worry too much about the first time. If its not brilliant it will get better with time. I think if you try too hard it will just be awkward and clumsy. Just be yourself, be cute and feminine, explore each other bodies gently and take your time, look into his eyes a lot and dont try to be someone your not x
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