A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im always uneasy about my boyfriend going out with his guy friends and brother. they are all single and he is the only one with a girlfriend. i dont see why i cant come along when his guy friends are interested in going out to dance with and meet other females when my boyfriend has me and im not invited to come. the thought of him dancing with other women makes me feel disgusted. please someone tell me your view on this topic. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta +, writes (24 July 2007):
 See, I'd just be annoyed if he wasn't taking ME dancing some times too. I think you have a legitimate gripe. If he won't take you dancing, then he's dancing to find women, and that's not cool. I can understand the night out with the buddies -- it's an important thing and you don't want to mess with it. But there better be some good time with you, too, or the balance is off.
Ask to go dancing with them at least half of the time. If he continues to keep you from interacting with his friends, and he won't spend some special time with you, then you know where his priorities are (and you're not it). It this case, leave him and find someone who wants to dance with you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Just bear in mind the fact that the more posessive you get, the further you'll drive him away. Try to put the handcuffs on him and you won't see him for dust.
If he needs other female company then you'll just have to put up with the fact you're not the 'only one' and it isn't 'true love'.
Phil
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 If he's out with his friends and he's dancing with a group because it's part of the scene, it's one thing. If he's out hunting for women to dance with, it's another.
Innocent is when you're group meets some others and everybody is hanging out and gravitates to the dance floor. IF he's off in a corner with a woman, schmoozing with her, that's another thing.
Define the boundaries of the relationship.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Ask yourself if your happy with this situation. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to change it. How would your boyfriend react if you tagged along to some of these 'boys' nights out? Do you know for a fact that he dances with other women?
Its ok for a guy to have buddies and go out with them as long as he gives a large part of his time to you and is loving and affectionate. Its not fair to ask someone to always have to reassure you that everything is ok, his actions should lead to you trusting him and him trusting you equally. Try to establish if he is really out 'dancing' with other girls or if he is just being a buddie, having a beer and hanging with his friends.
If there is anything going on then you have to evaluate if your gonna put up with it or not. Try talking to him and if you get no joy then find someone a bit more trustworthy.
Aunty Em x
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