A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I am almost 25 years old and still a virgin. I went to 2 boys schools as a child, so up until I left school at around 18, I hadn't had much contact with girls as I was very shy and introverted. Subsequently I spent 4 years at University and although there were girls who were interested in me, I would never reciprocate any affections for fear of leading them on. This is still the case and there is currently a girl who is clearly very interested in me but I guess I just don't want to let her down by telling her I've never had sex. These days I don't really have a problem meeting girls and in fact a lot of my good friends are girls. I guess I just need to start being frank and upfront otherwise things won't get off the ground. Sorry, I am rambling, would appreciate any thoughts.Thanks
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shy, still a virgin, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone here for taking time to offer your thoughts, I really appreciate it. Your advice has made me see things from a different perspective - we'll see what happens with this girl!
Thanks again
A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I know a lot of girls who would actually LIKE that fact that you've not had sex before. Many (smart!) girls would like that you're different. It's often such a turn-off to a girl if a guy gets around a lot.
The fact that you're a virgin is not anyone's business but your own. You really don't have to tell anyone at any point. If you start dating a girl and get to the point when you think you may want to have sex with her, then you could tell her, if you want, that you've not done it before, so any helpful pointers she may have would be nice. :) Most girls would LOVE to be in the position to take control!! (They think, "GRRRR, ROWR!!")
Don't worry. It may be a big deal to you, but it wouldn't be a big deal to a girl who likes you. It would be something different and cool, but not a deal-breaker, at all.
Listen to the other girls who posted before!
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A
male
reader, PhilManco +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Well Anonymous, I was 21 when I lost my virginity, so I know the kind of insecurities you are talking about. I was an extremely introverted child and adolescent and I don't think I even had any physical contact (like... even a kiss) with the fairer sex until I was 18 years old.
It's honestly not something to worry about, though, because we all inherently know what to do. If the person is right and the moment feels right, then everything will feel right. I don't think you will end up letting the girl down. That certainly wasn't the case in my own life. In fact, I've since gone on to have a very healthy sex life.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I don't think it really matters if you have gotten to 25 and never had sex. Your obviously really comfortable around women and have made some of them your good friends. Eventually one will come along who you won't be able to resist and love making will be inevitable. Try to talk about it to a close mate, someone you can trust, be prepared for any off handed comments or teasing and just handle it with humour, but try to find out what it was like for your mates 'first time'. I think you will find that it's not easy for anyone but gets better as you go along. Don't worry too much and just be open and honest. It's not such a big deal for a lot of girls.
Aunty Em x
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Good on you for still being a virgin, and i think i can speak for most women when i say we would not see it as a let down, in fact i think it is a very attractive quality.
Just take the plunge and ask the girl out, as you say she clearly likes you.
Take care.xx.
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