A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:for the past eight months my girl friend has been begging to get married. now that she knows it is close she seams to be second guessing everything in life it seems. so, could some one just tell me that shes just scard and it is normal, or should i be worried? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): No, it's not the truth, it's a very narrow minded, stereotypical view. If said my opinion of all men was beer swilling, football lovers who sit on the sofa all day scratching their balls, wouldn't you be offended? Because not every person is the same and not all men are like that. You can't say that every woman is the way you described because that is simply not true.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): I can't for the life of me see what's sexist about all that, Leanna! It's the simple truth - as any bloke with a female partner well knows!!!PhilXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Don't listen to anything that the pig below has just written, sexist much?I think your girlfriend is just a bit apprehensive about what's about to happen. Afterall, she's about to give the rest of her life to you, she's allowed to be a little bit nervous about that. Have a chat with her just to make sure that marriage is still what she wants, it'll make her feel so loved to know that you only want what's best for her and what makes her happy.Good luck x x x x x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Be prepared to give at least half of what you own over to her. Your stuff will become 'our stuff'.
Be prepared for emergency trips to the corner shop to re-stock supplies of toilet roll. God knows what they use it for - emergency breast implants perhaps? Perhaps the hamster has been given extra soft bedding?
Be prepared to say you're sorry when you wake up, just in case you did something wrong in her dreams.
Be prepared to always check the temperature of the bathwater if she's run it for you. It's a known fact that women can tolerate much hotter bathwater than men. They usually like it the temperature of lava, or at least at the point where you can light a cigarette off it.
Be prepared to enter the bathroom to find your partner in the bath, surrounded by burning candles, looking as if she's ready to contact the dead.
Be prepared to find the bottom of your wardrobe completely full of shoes and your bank account empty.
There are some very reasonably priced painters and decorators in the yellow pages. There are also some expensive relationship counsellors. The choice is yours.
There's an excellent book on the subject called 'The A-Z of Living Together' by Jeff Green ISBN 0-7515-3379-3 which gives most of the answers to marital / partnership problems and is well worth a read.
Best of luck mate
Phil
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A
male
reader, blazee  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 she is probably nervous, as most people get when they are about to give dedicate there life to someone lol.
just go over your emotions with her, im sure things will be fine:)
if she wanted to marry you before, chances are she still does.
good luck ok?
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (24 July 2007):
Hi,
I was scared as the time approached, and I love my husband more than anything else on earth. It is scary – in fact it should be if you are taking the commitment seriously. Most likely, she is just having normal nerves, but why don’t you sit down with her and ask if she is still OK with your plans? Are you still OK with your plans as well? Now is the time to be talking through what you both want. Children? If so, straight away or later? Does your career come before anything else? Would you move home for each other’s careers? Do you want to retire at 40 and sail round the world? Or work forever? If you agree on the really big stuff, and you love each other, and are good friends, then you have a great chance. You need to reassure each other that you are going in the right direction. And then enjoy your big day.
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A
female
reader, Shalita  +, writes (24 July 2007):
Marriage is sweet when both of you love deeply however I must warn you, its not always good all the time, alot of patience is needed and offcourse good and timely communication is the best way to go. good luck
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (24 July 2007):
 It's hard to say if she's just getting nervous ("cold feet") or if she's having serious doubts. It's worth talking about it, though. It's better to talk about it now than after the wedding! Ask her how she feels about the wedding and if she's still sure she wants to do it. At the very least, even if she's just nervous, she will feel better after talking about it with you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 July 2007):
 It just sounds like cold feet. Getting married is a HUGE step in life, it changes a lot of things and maybe she is just evaluating what impact it will have on her. Unless she flat out tells you she doesn't want to go ahead, I am sure all will be well. Maybe just take a little more time to ask her what is on her mind, don't get too bogged down with the arrangements and try to go over the reasons why you love eachother so much to make this commitment.
Good luck and I hope all goes well.
Aunty Em x
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