A
female
age
41-50,
*appy29
writes:Hello everyone hope you are all well. I turned 30 last week and need some advice. I met a guy over the internet about 4mths ago. we went to primary school together and i really fancied him then, but he never looked at me. i've known him since i was 10. the thing is we went on a date and we slept together. stupid, i know, but i'm very highly sexed and we both knew what we were doing. thing is, that was 4mths ago and we both know it ain't going anywhere. i've been on a couple of dates with other men and he's done the same with one other females. what i'm getting at is his partner cheated on him and they were together for 6yrs they have 2 kids. he's giving me mixed signals. one minute he says it's jusy sex, and then the next he says he has feelings for me. he gets very jealous if i mention other men. but none of this bothers me in the slightest, as i don't care about him. am i doing wrong and will he get hurt? My past relationships have been awful and i have self-esstem issues i just want someone decent i'm confused maybe i should be on my own and get rid of this guy as i don't want to take on his kids help me please!
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (31 July 2007):
 Im really glad that you have decided to take some time for yourself. It really does make the difference. Good luck to you.
Aunty Em xx
A
female
reader, Happy29 +, writes (30 July 2007):
Happy29 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to eveyone who give me advice. I cut the guy in question out of my life i know it's the cowards way out but i changed my phone number so no more shit from him and also i'm going to be celiabate for a year to look after me
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 July 2007):
It sounds like you answered your own question and you do sound very confused about it. Give yourself some time away from dating and just try to find out who you are first. Get some counselling for your self esteem issues or get some self help books that you can work through yourself.
If your confused and not sure about yourself, then other people will treat you with the same confusion. If your self assured and clear about what you truly want from a relationship, then you are more likely to meet more suitable men.
I don't ever think sex of a first date is a good idea, you need to spend more time getting to know someone before you jump in the sack with them.
I hope things soon start to improve for you.
Aunty Em xx
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Yeah you should probably cut this guy loose. He sounds like he's developing stronger feelings for you, than you have for him. His kids are part of the package. If you don't see youself being with this guy, and helping him raise these kids, it's time to move on. The more you see him, even if it's "just for sex" the more emotional ties he will be forming for you. Then it just gets messy after that. Don't play games. He's been hurt enough.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): It sounds like you care about the guy more than you might want to admit to because you are questioning IF you should leave. don't let him play with your emotions. if you just want him as a boy toy then do nothing. if you want something serious you have to tell him. if he doesn't comply then you have to leave him.
Take care of yourself....
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