A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really like one of my colleagues. I know this is not always a good idea, but I work in a big company and we don't work that closely together. We went out on a big works do a few weeks back and got on well but she went home early as she was ill. I recently asked her out for a drink and she said that she was really busy at the moment and had just started seeing someone (which I now know to be true). This is fine, and I can deal with this. But she went on to say that we should have another works night out soon as she was ill at the last one. I'm guessing that she's just trying to be friendly, but I wasn't really sure how to respond. I don't want to fall out with her, but to be honest if shes not interested in me, I'd rather just move on and not fall into the friend category. Do you think she was just being friendly or do you think she was trying to keep some options open? And how do you think I should respond now? Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Flashtony +, writes (1 May 2012):
Don't talk to her about going out.... if she mentions another night out again... she's interested... if not she was just being friendly and you got the message.
A
male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (30 April 2012):
I agree completely with AuntyEm. In fact, her suggestion also tells me that she knows you like her, and she's trying to diffuse the situation. She wants to put you into the "friend zone", hence her suggestion of another work night out. If you didn't work together she may or may not be this friendly knowing that you asked her out. However since you DO work with her, she wants to make friends by hanging out in a group setting. If she were interested, she would have suggested a dinner, or maybe grabbing a drink alone with her.
I like your idea to distance yourself and not make friends. If you will ever have a chance with her, that's what you need to do.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 April 2012):
 I think she was just being friendly. This one's a no brainer...she in a relationship, you need to forget her and move on.
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