A
female
age
51-59,
*ngel eyes123
writes:Hi, I have been seeing a guy for 5 months and we had a fight thru text messaging. The guy is married and I am married but separated. One day I was upset with a family issue and after he had not call that morning which he normally does, I sent him a text saying what's up. He didn't responded so I sent him another text but with harsh words and he responded later saying that I did not even ask if he was ok but I am quick to abuse from the mind. He also said that he don't think he is the man for me because this had happen before and I would always love you, good luck in the future. I responded saying that I was worried and I thought he was out seeing someone else and he replied, now you have ruin the relationship. He didn't contact me 4 months now. I tried to reach out to he twice thru text and once thru phone to apologize. As of to date he has not responded. I am in the process of no contact 3 months now. I really like this guy and he keeps popping up in my mind and its frustrating. It is very hard to move on because of the nice times together. I have seen a therapist to help me with my issues. Should I just be patient and wait for him to contact me or try very hard to move on. Why would he say I would always love you but not contact. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): I echo Code Warriors words: I have never cheated and my husband of 20 years has also not cheated ever!! (From time to time we may have plotted murder but have not followed through on this....lol)I also agree with Code: the hypocracy of your flawed thinking....You wait for him to find his way back to you because you believe in your heart of hearts that he will find his way back: plse see this for what it is: you had an affair for 5 months. He now has no contact with you for 4 months. Does this not indicate that he has no indication of finding himself back to you. It is Over!!!What can you now do? Stop the denial: accept that it is over. Stop waiting for this married man to come back. He is NOT! As hard as this is, move on. You need to decide whether you have learnt anything from this affair. Perhaps it is that married men are off limits, or Karma really does exist, or that your life is vitally important and that you should never settle as second best . YOU decide how best to move on.LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Forget him. He's married. Don't contact him. It's time to move on.
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A
female
reader, angel eyes123 +, writes (25 April 2012):
angel eyes123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do agree with you totally. Yes I might be a cheat but what can I do about it now but get my life in order. Just remember we all are human beings and at some point of time some of us or all are going to cheat. Cheating is nothing new in this world. Cheating does not only involes married people. I totally understand what the principal here is and I do understand it is wrong but things happen. It is very hard to find someone out there that is faithful.
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A
female
reader, angel eyes123 +, writes (25 April 2012):
angel eyes123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your input on this subject. Yes I did say I can handle the situation. It pretty much seems like he was single when he was with me. I am not the first or certainly going to be the last to sleep with a married man. We all make mistakes at some point of time in our lives and who are you to judge. Yes, he said it was OVER but do you know that for sure anything is possible. Most men are strange creatures and have a way of finding there way back to women regardless of any situation. At the time I met him I was in a weird position and needed some assistance and he was there for me. This is certainly an experience for me and I hope that I would not make a mistake like that again. I ask my Father in heaven for forgiveness and I placed it in his hands. It is what it is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): So you are saying that he was upfront right from the start: that he was married. Could you handle his sneaking around, his lies, his half truths, his betrayal to his wife, and you answered yes.
Well he has been upfront again and he has told you that it is Over....
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, angel eyes123 +, writes (24 April 2012):
angel eyes123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your kind words. I am still feeling a lot of hurt from this situation and never thought it would end like this. I just want to be honest with this situation. He said all he wanted from me was peace, love happiness of which he said he wasn't getting at home. I am not trying to make any excuses but I am the one that didn't keep up my part of the relationship. He told me he was married and if I could handle it and I said yes. He said he would do his very best to treat me like a lady which he did. There was no pressure from his side towards me. He would always make time to see me at least twice or three times during the week and make sure I was taken care of. This is not the first time for this outburst and he said he did warn me. I messed up on my part and I am in process of getting myself together. I really enjoy his company. Even though it might not have work out I did not want it to end this way because we could have remain friends. I think this is why I am feeling the way I am feeling now. I never had someone actually treated me the way he treated me and I think I didn't know how to appreciate it. My mind it's telling me its over but my heart is saying different.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 April 2012):
 I have to say on the face of things I don't think this man really gives a care about you and seems to have let you go very quickly at the first sign of trouble.
despite saying he loves you, he hasn't been in touch and that demonstrates that he has gotten over you and moved on. Men seldom want to be the bad guy and perhaps you gave him the excuse he needed to end things...and that is why your apologies, texts and calls are having no effect.
I know it's hard to get over the loss of someone but this was never going to be a happy ending so just be thankful that things are done with and you can move on to something much better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): He's married, move on. He let you down as easy as he could, if he wanted to see you or talk to you, he would. He doesn't so move on and find someone who's actually available.
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