A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat.We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign documents. I smelled a bit of a rat, then she said she wanted me to 'come over and have sex with her'.I didn't go, cos I had work to do, and she hasn't chatted to me since (which there could be other reasons for). She may be legitimate, but is there something iffy going on here? I thought Hungary was in the EU?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI like that - she still hasn't done anything to me or with me or asked me to do anything that makes me think she's trying it on. It may be naive, but thats the way it seems right now.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 A Facebook profile ? That only means that this girl exists and she is ( probably ) posting under her real name . Which does not mean she is telling all the truth about herself and her motivations in pursuing a "friendship " with you.
I am not suggesting you to become paranoid just because she is Hungarian and East European girls have got a ,mostly undeserved, bad rap as users and scammers. I've been to Hungary a couple of times and my impression is that, like any other place in the world, there's shady people there and also ( duh ) lots of honest, decent, hard working people. So it's not that you have to watch out because she is not British. But, you seem not too perturbed by the fact that she barely knows you ( you met 6 times, and can't even communicate clearly because of language barriers ! ) and she already "thinks " you are close friend enough to ask you for a favour- a big favour , if involves signing documents. That would alarm me anyhow- it's not a matter of nationality, it's a matter of boundaries , you don't ask stuff or help to people you barely know- and most of all not in exchange for sex.
I know you don't want to see that as " in exchange for ", you want to think that she is smitten because of your looks/personality, i.e. just because of you, no hidden agenda.
Maybe. But maybe not. Very maybe not.
For the moment you should just adopt a very prudent " wait and see" stance. Let HER prove to you that she is interested, that she wants your friendship and more without the added bonus of any help or advantage or benefit she can get from you or through you. THEN you can relax and consider her your friend or more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys, and I do take it all on board. I will ask her why she asked me to sign documents when she gets back - she is pretty but at least this time I didn't just see her picture, and we actually met! I will be careful - in fact, on Tuesday night, she spoke some English words to me!
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (4 May 2012):
I don't know OP. The way you put exclamation points behind every sentence you write about her suggests you are infatuated with her and not really objective.
Sure, her facebook may be 'real' as on fb everyone posts the version of themselves they want to be. That doesn't mean she isn't capable of lying and manipulating you. In fact, it tells you nothing valuable at all. Since she barely has friends here there is no-one who knows her well enough to call her out on a lie.
As for the whole friendship thing, watch out for that man. Friendships between women and men rarely work unless one or both of them are already taken. You obviously have feelings for her that go beyond friendship or you wouldn't be so excited to see her again.
Don't con yourself here. She's wrapping you around her little finger and she probably knows that because her first tactic failed (offering sex in exchange for document signing) she's got to play it very differently. She's pushing the friendship angle now so that by the time you completely trust her she can make her move. She might not even ask you to sign documents anymore, it may be something else entirely. It may not even seem shady next time.
Just watch it, okay. Don't think she can't fool you because you kept her at bay the first time. The fact you are still around her gives her enough to try again. She now knows that the direct approach doesn't work. So she'll try subtle.
I'm sorry OP but I highly doubt a gal who offered sex in exchange for documents is suddenly keen on becoming friends, not unless she has an ulterior motive. But sure, she's probably beautiful and innocent looking, and you probably feel lucky to have such a pretty girl by your side. If you decide to trust her, that's your decision, but I would never trust someone who tried to con me into doing something shady.
Have you talked to her about the documents, what it was about? She has conveniently left that out in every conversation she had with you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 May 2012):
 Her being a real person doesn't really make her incapable of lying. She is a stranger to you, no matter of physically real she is or how real her name is etc. I don't understand why you think her having a facebook profile somehow makes her legit. People who steal and scam others can still have facebook profiles...
Listen, you don't know what she wants. You don't know her. Get to know her if you please, but I would recommend you don't go along too easily and instead ask her what documents it was she needed signing and why she asked you.
Maybe all she wants is friendship, but it is kind of strange to imagine a great friendship between two people who have met a total of 6 times and needs to use an interpreter. She's not your "friend" just yet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know people can create fake Facebook profiles, but she is also on Facebook!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI will watch out - thankyou for the advice.
Unlike 'girls' (who pose as models) (they are actually conmen) who I talk to on the net, this Hungarian girl is real, as you know we have met 6 times, and I have no reason to believe she is having me on.
Naive, maybe. Wrong decision, maybe. But I'm no mug.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (3 May 2012):
It does not have to be about citizen / residence permit,- Hungary is in the UE ,she can stay in Uk as long as she wants. BUT it's still iffy and dodgy. I think she needed some sort of guarantor for something. An unemployed non resident, even if UE citizen, will have quite some trouble for doing all sorts of stuff like renting an apartment or buying a car or applying for a bank loan etc.etc. Even buying furniture or appliances on a layaway plan could be impossible for her - without the back up signature of a guarantor. If she has one, she can buy anything she wants ...then go back to her country leaving her guarantor holding the bag ( and paying the bills )
Your explanation does not explain anything. Of course she needs money for living. Like everybody, Hungarian or not.
She can work in UK - she is an UE citizen. So what is her " story " about ?
She definitely wants something from you. Some sort of favour, probably borderline illegal ( I lived abroad for a good chunk of my life and never had to ask anybody to sign any papers for me ! ). If ALL she wants is these favours, and once she realizes you won't help , she 'll disappear - not certain, but probable. Very probable. Considering that you say you have been scammed before, so probably you are the right kind of person for going to with a good sob story, and send out the vibes of one who'd swallow it hook line and sinker. Watch out.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (3 May 2012):
It does not have to be about citizen / residence permit,- Hungary is in the UE ,she can stay in Uk as long as she wants. BUT it's still iffy and dodgy. I think she needed some sort of guarantor for something. An unemployed non resident, even if UE citizen, will have quite some trouble for doing all sorts of stuff like renting an apartment or buying a car or applying for a bank loan etc.etc. Even buying furniture or appliances on a layaway plan could be impossible for her - without the back up signature of a guarantor. If she has one, she can buy anything she wants ...then go back to her country leaving her guarantor holding the bag ( and paying the bills )
Your explanation does not explain anything. Of course she needs money for living. Like everybody, Hungarian or not.
She can work in UK - she is an UE citizen. So what is her " story " about ?
She definitely wants something from you. Some sort of favour, probably borderline illegal ( I lived abroad for a good chunk of my life and never had to ask anybody to sign any papers for me ! ). If ALL she wants is these favours, and once she realizes you won't help , she 'll disappear - not certain, but probable. Very probable. Considering that you say you have been scammed before, so probably you are the right kind of person for going to with a good sob story, and send out the vibes of one who'd swallow it hook line and sinker. Watch out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't really know where the signing documents thing came from, I haven't, and won't, do anything of the sort.
No, we didn't have sex - she didn't want it either.
She explained to me she isn't married, and her friend is a girl! (I have met her as well!)
'My girl' was the wrong choice of words! I only called her that to differentiate between Sarah (her friend) and her.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 May 2012):
Are you having sex with her since you call her "my girl"? Are you in a relationship? Just because she hasn't asked you again doesn't take away the fact that she did ask you. It is still suspicious. And I wonder why you haven't even talked to her about this seeing as it made you so uncomfortable. You are just ignoring it... You do have reason to doubt her, you barely know this woman, and when you first met her she asked you to sign documents. Right now you just sound gullible, as if this woman is some innocent damsel in distress who hasn't asked for anything.. yet. Just remember who you are dealing with here and how uncomfortable she made you feel and attack the issue head on rather than tip toe around it and pretend it never happened.
You do have reason to doubt her, she isn't a close friend of yours, and she asked you to have sex with her and by the sounds of things that's exactly what you are doing, her making you feel "special and wanted". That isn't friendship. This is some sort of mutual deal, and you're pretending it's all rainbows and puppies. Fact is: she's tried to exchange sex for you signing documents, you don't know a thing about her besides for the fact that she is pretty. For all you know this "boy" she has at home is her husband.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have no reason not to doubt her, as she hasn't asked me for anything!
Her Hungarian friend took her to the airport yesterday, and she is back here on Saturday, but 'my girl' isn't back until a week tomorrow.
When her friend gets back on Saturday, shall I ask her to tell me a bit more about her, or shall I leave it? (I'd feel a bit uncomfortable doing that though)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I have been with her 6 times now, and she hasn't asked me for a thing!
We were together Monday, last night (she wanted to see me more then because she is going home for 9 days today.)
When she gets back, she wants to spend time with me, but over here!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't signed any papers yet, nor will I if she asks.
If I get asked to do anything like lend her money, I will run as I have been scammed before!
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (30 April 2012):
 She see's you as a vulnerable target, so be careful.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 April 2012):
 Friendship is fine but don't be a mug.
If she makes you feel special and needed then that is great but love is unconditional so if she begins again with the signing documents or asks you for money, I'd run.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI suppose it is friendship. I haven't got many female friends, and she makes me feel special and wanted.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 April 2012):
Okay, so let's turn things around: what do you want from her? Do you want friendship, something more? In any case, watch your back and listen to your gut. She could just be taking the more subtle approach now, getting your sympathies so she can convince you anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe doesn't speak good English and her friend does, and I'm not sure what she wants from me now.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (27 April 2012):
Thanks for the follow up OP, but I don't understand how this little story clarifies anything. Why did she need a friend to tell you her story? Why couldn't she tell you herself and what exactly does she want from you know?
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (26 April 2012):
Still be careful ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, now I understand more!
She asked me to go and meet her for lunch, which I did. She got her friend to explain to me that she is going back to Hungary next week as she has a little boy (which she will do every month), and she needs to earn money to give him!
She is grateful for my friendship as she hasn't got any friends over here, and - there was no sign of any documents!
It still might be a likely story, but now I understand more!!
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (25 April 2012):
Listen to the international lawyer. Any document you're asked to sign, no matter how trustworthy to person who asks it of you, should be reviewed by a lawyer first before you do it. This girl made it easy for you to flush her out because she's as subtle as a brick. She's probably new at this and expects men to lose their brain capacity the moment "sex" is mentioned. The fact you had to come here for assurance shows you're a bit green around the gills yourself. Consider yourself lucky this girl wasn't smarter and more devious.
Another thing I want to mention --and I'm well aware I may be smacked for my prejudice-- is that immigrants from east european countries usually aren't the most trustworthy people. Girls from those countries usually don't come from a wealthy background. They're raised to be tough and to take what they can get. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm just saying you need to watch it with them because many would try to manipulate you if they thought it would get them somewhere. There's less room for morals when you're raised to look out for yourself.
So continue to listen to your gut and never sign documents unless you get the okay from your lawyer and keep your eyes open at all times.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Did she say it was for her to stay in the UK? It could be many other documents. If it happens again why not ask what kind of document she wanted you to sign.?
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 April 2012):
You don't know what the documents were about, they don't have to be related to citizenship (in which case what sorts of documents do you think YOU signing would mean she gets to stay in the country? It takes more than a piece of paper for that sort of stuff..). No this was more likely about something else. Maybe a tax cut. Or a scam of other sorts. You could have just asked her about what sort of documents it was you know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't really understand it! Hungary is in the eu, so why not become a legitimate 'briton'?
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Very iffy. Sounds like she was using you. Her visa is possibly due to expire and once she realized she wasn't going to get what she wanted from you she moved on to the next target.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 April 2012):
Random girl you don't know wants you to sign documents and then suggests you have sex with her? Sounds like a paid service if you ask me.
If she hasn't spoken to you again then just leave it be. Who knows what's up with that, but no matter what country someone is from, if a random stranger asks you to sign unknown documents for them then just don't do it...
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2012):
Go with your gut! You did the right thing.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 April 2012):
Don't sign anything, you don't know what you might be getting into. Seems like this is one person you don't need it your life. It sounds very dodgy indeed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): An international lawyer here. Don't ever sign any kind of documents until you are 100% sure of the content, responsibilities, and potential consequences. It is highly recommended, even when everything seems clear, that you consult your lawyer in prior to signing any paperwork.You could have enquired about the nature of these documents she asked you to sign, even though I cannot think of any reason why would you sign documents for her to begin with. I think you made the right call, especially given her behaviour since you refused going there, and I can also see an element of luring you into signing, using sex for that matter. The entire thing doesn't sound good to be honest. However, further information is required on these document, in the event you actually care about that woman.
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (24 April 2012):
Yes signing documents that you have no clue to what they are does sound really odd.
Be careful, and it could be she is going to use you for sex so you sign the papers.
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