A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I really need some good advice, I'm really confused! I think I'm in love with my friend but I don't know if he feels the same, I have had sex with him a few times but we were drunk. But before we slept together we were always flirting with each other but I thought it was friendly banter, until he got drunk and told me he really likes and cares about me, told him I feel the same and we kissed and talked about our feelings all night,however the next day he didn't talk to me about anything he stop seeing me and didn't want to hang out anymore until he gets drunk and tells me his sorry for being horrible but his shy and only picks up the courage to tell me how he fells when his drunk .I don't know what to think do men say there true feeling when there drunk or what? its too confusing....
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 April 2012):
 Yup a big mess...right?
Thing is, boys are pretty retarded when it comes to admitting feelings and getting involved. Basically this guy was a friend who turned into a friend with benefits, which isn't good.
The fact that he can only speak his true feelings when he is drunk doesn't bode well for you. I am assuming that you mainly want to be around him when he is sober? Well if he cannot express himself whilst sober, he's most likely a moron and it is you that will end up doing all the chasing and worrying.
I think you have to decide how this is affecting you? Can you put up with it? or do you think it's all going to end in a huge messy heap?...thing is, he isn't likely to ever change so it's a kind of done deal.
He has already formed an opinion of you and it's not one that he can express when he is clear headed...so it can't be good. You already had sex with him, and whilst he was drunk...so he got what he wanted (and lets face it...when people are drunk they don't know what they are saying)
Sorry to be so hard on you but he is avoiding you whilst sober so that says a lot.
If he wants to be with you and is genuine then he would be knocking your door down, completely sans booze!!!...not refusing to see you and only using you for sex when he's bladdered!!!
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