A
female
age
30-35,
*owgirljojo
writes:Me and this guy have been friends for a few months and after I left my most recent bf he wanted to hang out. I was hurt and upset and we had sex. After the first time he was super sweet and text me constantly. We went out for his brithday and had sex again that night. I made the mistake of telling him I was starting to like him. Now he's not texting me. What should i do? I want to stay friends with benefits but he's pulling away.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (25 April 2012):
Im going to give it to you straight. He only wanted sex from you, and you gave it to him. Now that your throwing feelings into the mix, he thinks its simply no longer worth the hassel bc he has effectively zero feelings for you that way. End of story.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 If you seriously want FWB only then you need to get used to him only contacting you when he wants sex. The whole FWB deal does not come with love and affection and the attention part only comes when you are actually having sex with him. In fact the 'friends' part often doesn't exist either.
You also have to be a very strong emotionless person when you discover he has found someone else who he DOES want a loving relationship with...that won't ever be you because he just wants to use you for sex (like a prostitue but without pay, thats why guys love FWB so much...it's like free non commital sex)
Having sex with him will not make him love you, it's already dead and when he does want to get free of you...he will drop you in the blink of an eye.
Now why do you want to be in a FWB?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Do you genuinely want to stay FWB or do you want a relationship with this guy?
Because I'll say right now if it's the latter, you're 99.9% likely to get hurt. You see, most guys have an incredible ability to not give a f**k and they see a FWB as the greatest thing ever. I mean, they're getting sex without any commitment, great right?
If he's pulling away from a FWB, it's not very likely that he sees you as relationship material, in fact, the very aspect of you being a FWB in the first place shows that you're not what he wants in a relationship.
I've been in this situation before and yes, it screwed majorly with my head and I wouldn't ever advise a FWB situation to another person and sex changes everything, that's when feelings because involved and unless you've got incredible restraint or a cold heart, FWBs will always up up going sour with a lot of heartache.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, punksavage  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Theres nothing you can do. This is why im against fwb somebody always gets hurt because they start to develop feelings not all the time but most of the time the only thing you can do is move on if hes not making an effort to contact you then its not worth it just move on
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A
male
reader, SWbytrade +, writes (25 April 2012):
I think you have to be clear with yourself: Do you REALLY want to be FWB ONLY with him? Or do you want more? When you say you "like" him? What are you actually trying to say?
For a guy, it means it no longer means it's just FWB and it's that you're falling for him. That's what it sounds like. That's how guys interpret it.
Unless you answer that question yourself, honestly, he has every right to pull away because your message isn't clear.
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