Like what
she writes?
... Add *untyEm to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
|
| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
|
Why does someone dump you and then come back acting like he wants my attention?
Q. I dated a guy for six months. We were really close--I thought. He told me he loved me AND cared about me-- AND showed it as well. Two months ago he told me I was beautiful, intelligent, AND perfect for him but something was "missing" AND ...
A. 30 November 2012: Congratulations, I am glad you guys sorted it out xx... (read in full...)
I haven't felt this sad or hurt in ages and I just don't know what to do. He was so nice and now he just seems to have run away!
Q. I'm 49 and I can't believe I've allowed myself to be put in this position. I've been seeing a guy and it's been like fireworks. Thrilling every time. Now, after telling me he loves getting my messages and texts (some quite racy)...he hasn't replied ...
A. 9 November 2012: One day you will have enough of being treated like this by this man...maybe no time soon but one day you will realise that he is using you, using you, using you...and then using you again.
Just how high are you prepared to jump to get his attentio... (read in full...)
His friends come before me
Q. I have been in a relationship for 5 years. I have had difficulties with a couple whom my boyfriend knew before me: I had a sexual remark made to me by the couples husband. I made this know to the wife of this man. She severed communications with me. ...
A. 5 November 2012: These people have acted badly. If my boyfriend chose friends like these over me, he wouldn't be my boyfriend for long.
... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from my personal trainer who I have feelings for?
Q. Hello everyone. I need some help! This is a very mixed up situation and I am having a very, very hard time walking away from it. I know what I have to do but I just cannot seem to pull the trigger. And emotionally it is tearing me apa...
A. 5 November 2012: Ok been there done that!! Not with a personal trainer but with someone who I gave my attention to for 6 years.
He was flirty fun physical, a good listener etc but...he was not into me as much as I was into him.
I know what that longing feel... (read in full...)
Is telling the truth one option? How do I get out of this tangled web of lies that I created? My Imaginary Gay Boyfriend is causing problems with my ex and I
Q. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Firstly let me just say that I am a really honest guy, who doesn't normally lie (truth) (Hard to believe when you hear my story). But one lie I told recently has snowballed into ...
A. 29 October 2012: Hahaha bless you!!
Well done for making a decision and lets hope you will go on to happiness in the future. Your dilemma really made me smile (because your writing is so fluent, not because of the sad situation)
Be good xx... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't care for me because I am unemployed!
Q. My husband doesn't care for me anymore because I am unemployed. I am looking for a job, but we are so far in debt he just blames me for all the financial situation that we are in. I am 59 now and have health issues, so it is hard to find a job, but ...
A. 29 October 2012: How did you get into debt? Was it a joint thing or something you alone did?
Your husband is not happy and is full of resentment because he is in a situation he alone cannot fix. I understand you have health issues but even severely disabled... (read in full...)
This is a very bad situation, but who do I choose ? And how do I solve this problem?
Q. ok, worst situation ever. the type that makes a man not feel like a man. ill try to keep this extra short.. this all started 2 and a half years ago. at the time i had been with my girlfriend for seven years. we fought all the time. arguing. s...
A. 29 October 2012: You are a headless chicken who does not really know what true love really means and the responsibilities that go with it...I think you should OWN this.
Your 9 year relationship isn't love...its a HABIT. People who are IN LOVE DO NOT cheat, a... (read in full...)
Is telling the truth one option? How do I get out of this tangled web of lies that I created? My Imaginary Gay Boyfriend is causing problems with my ex and I
Q. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Firstly let me just say that I am a really honest guy, who doesn't normally lie (truth) (Hard to believe when you hear my story). But one lie I told recently has snowballed into ...
A. 28 October 2012: I agree with the other aunts.
Tell your ex that you and Joe broke up and that you don't want to talk about it. Then just let it fade into the mists of time.
I can understand your pain at losing your partner and you need time to recover. The... (read in full...)
Shall I walk away, or take a very big risk???
Q. I have Just started some part time work after getting my life back together from an abusive relationship. A man in my work place has for several weeks been friendly but until recently didn't realise he was attracted towards me. He has now made it ...
A. 28 October 2012: I agree, maybe just be friends with him.Men tend to come on quite strong at first so time will tell what his true intentions are (you want to make sure he isn't the office Lothario). If he is being sexually suggestive already, I'd see that as a bad ... (read in full...)
I got too clingy! How can I show him that the old me is back?
Q. please help ive made an awful mess of this. ok i have a good friend and during the summer we became close. hes been with a girl 5 years. she has a lot of issues which hes explained. she needs lots of space, goes out drinking with guys from work and...
A. 27 October 2012: I agree. I think you should leave him alone and let him decide if he still wants you as a friend. Being in his face will only push him further away and it isnt in your control to save the friendship.... (read in full...)
I have the hots for my sister's husband!
Q. I am 36 F. I know what I think is wrong. but it is difficult for me to stand this. I think it is due to I am Pisces and he is Scorpio by Sun sign. I am interested in my younger sister's husband. We flirts and he calls me to talk personally. I feel h...
A. 27 October 2012: I agree with YOUWISH 100%
Just because something feels right DOES NOT mean we should always do it...that is why most people have an internal moral compass that steers them away from bad/unhealthy/criminal/immoral decisions.
As a person that ha... (read in full...)
He makes racist inappropriate comments. Now it seems he may have been seeing a local prostitute of the same race he vilifies. What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend is nearly 40. He makes comments all the time if we are out and see an oriental woman with a man he immediately says "oh look it's bought your wife". He even said that my friend who was 27 and going out with a 42 year old was going ou...
A. 26 October 2012: I'd like to add another person to YOUWISH's list...an english one:
Jimmy Savile..Long time fund raiser, lifetime batchelor who worked on childrens programs, swore blind he did not even like children and stated that he would never own a computer... (read in full...)
Co-worker who I can't avoid. Why is she manipulative and cold with me?
Q. I need help with a woman that I come into contact with in relation to my work. We're not co-workers exactly, but she now teaches in the college where I am currently researching - she dropped out of PhD research to become a tutor whilst I carried ...
A. 26 October 2012: Wow this is an odd one indeed.
I think the old adage ' You can't like everybody' is tue but you seen to be particularly threatened by this woman and your mind is trying to find a solution to the problem where probably none exists.
Maybe she is ... (read in full...)
I haven't felt this sad or hurt in ages and I just don't know what to do. He was so nice and now he just seems to have run away!
Q. I'm 49 and I can't believe I've allowed myself to be put in this position. I've been seeing a guy and it's been like fireworks. Thrilling every time. Now, after telling me he loves getting my messages and texts (some quite racy)...he hasn't replied ...
A. 25 October 2012: Awww I am so happy for you...the power of prayer can never be underestimated xxxxx
... (read in full...)
Is what I do a fetish? Or am I am exhibitionist? My wife says people stare at me in public when I do this
Q. Am I wierd, I dont like to wear underware sometimes and when I go camando in shorts my package sometimes is noticeable. My wife says people keep staring but I dont see them I think she is just worried my junk will spill out at the wrong time. I ...
A. 25 October 2012: 'And feel like women do like to check your package at times and i mean in adult gatherings and stuff'
I think this is in your head and fuelled by some sort of fantasy...
Sorry to burst your bubble but women do not go around checking out a g... (read in full...)
I haven't felt this sad or hurt in ages and I just don't know what to do. He was so nice and now he just seems to have run away!
Q. I'm 49 and I can't believe I've allowed myself to be put in this position. I've been seeing a guy and it's been like fireworks. Thrilling every time. Now, after telling me he loves getting my messages and texts (some quite racy)...he hasn't replied ...
A. 25 October 2012: I am assuming he didn't reply to the text?
Delete his number if you think you will be tempted again.
You just need a little more time to get over your feelings. I know it doesn't seem possible at the moment as sadness is a heavy coat to we... (read in full...)
Ex and I are both lonely but he won't give in and give us a chance
Q. My ex and I were married for 38 years and I found out he was cheating for the last five of those years. He divorced me over my objections, and was willing to pay dearly for it. Now he doesn't see the girl as much (she is married) but I think they ...
A. 24 October 2012: I think you are right, maybe the best thing to do is to just be there for him, as long as he is there for you.
My granpa was 74 when my granma died, he met another woman a year later and they were together for another 10 years until he died, so... (read in full...)
Ex and I are both lonely but he won't give in and give us a chance
Q. My ex and I were married for 38 years and I found out he was cheating for the last five of those years. He divorced me over my objections, and was willing to pay dearly for it. Now he doesn't see the girl as much (she is married) but I think they ...
A. 24 October 2012: I am so sorry for your predicament, it must be very tough.
For whatever reason, it's your ex that is putting up barriers so it suggests that for him, whatever was between you is over (sorry)
Being lonely is not a reason to try and squeeze som... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to marry someone else to please his parents!
Q. I'm stuck and don't know what to do. Two years ago I met my current boyfriend(?) He wanted us to get married and for me to live with him and his parents. I agreed but when I met his parents they were horrible to me and my family. Basically they w...
A. 23 October 2012: Are these men you date muslim or sikh? If they are, I think you have to accept that it's their culture and that is likely to happen.... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? I'm tired of feeling 'second class' and "not quite good enough for him".
Q. My husband and I have been together now for about 14 years. We have 2 beautiful children. However, i am so sick of dealing with his selfish ways. He has cheated 3 times, the first was about 9 years into our relationship and was a full on relations...
A. 23 October 2012: I understand that feeling, god knows I do. We all have our limits and in time, if he don't change his ways, the scales will tip against him and you will find the strength to act.
I am not here to tell you to end things but if life does not impr... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? I'm tired of feeling 'second class' and "not quite good enough for him".
Q. My husband and I have been together now for about 14 years. We have 2 beautiful children. However, i am so sick of dealing with his selfish ways. He has cheated 3 times, the first was about 9 years into our relationship and was a full on relations...
A. 23 October 2012: I could cry for you I really could. I hate that people have to put up with cheaters (serial cheat in your case)
I understand 100% why you feel so torn...it's hoping against hope that he will change but he hasn't in all this time has he.
I have ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband keep going on dating sites looking for women? he knows I know. So why does he keep on hurting me like this?
Q. For at least the past 6 months I was coming across my boyfriend going on dating sites to chat to different women. Of course, he has always denied it and called me weird and neurotic. He knows that I know, so why won`t he tell me if there is somet...
A. 23 October 2012: He is waiting for you to do the breaking up so he doesn't have to feel guilty, it's one of the oldest male tricks in the book. If you choose to stay with him, he will see it as a sign that you are ok with his 'activities'.... (read in full...)
Applying for a job with rotating night shifts and would like advice from someone with experience.
Q. I need some advice. I currently work at a part time job where I get 25 hours a week maximum. I've been here for almost 4 years. The latest I work is 7pm and the earliest is 9am. I am giving this background because I have applied and am going through ...
A. 23 October 2012: I am a nurse and I have worked years of night shifts in the past,but because I am single, it never bothered me since I do not have to cook anyones dinner and both my kids have grown up and left home.
I have seen the effects of nights on other co... (read in full...)
Has my Boyfriend cheated on me with his ex?
Q. Dear all, I am so hurt and miss my boyfriend after breaking up with him. I will try to keep this short, i meet him last Feb. we hit it off. Initially we started off fine, met him saturday nights with my friend and his, it was difficult to get o...
A. 23 October 2012: I agree with the other aunts, it sounds like he was treating you as an 'option' rather than a girlfriend and breaking up nine times since February!!...thats like once a month!!!
I understand why people cling to bad relationships but when somethin... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 3 years broke things off, should I let her cool off?
Q. Hello, My girlfriend and I of about 3 years just broke up last week on Thursday. She has been separated from her husband for three years(he wasn't happy no more)They are going through a messy divorce. So she is being stressed out with that situat...
A. 23 October 2012: I think you did ask this question before.
You should give her space because she sounds stressed out and irritated (thats why she's giving you an ultimatum...because she wants some action but you are just giving words).
Saying hurtful stuff an... (read in full...)
I told him I loved him and he said "thank you" What does that mean?
Q. I've been seeing this man for some time now and have strong feelings for him. We talk about moving in together even he has brought up marriage a few times, but the other day when I told him I loved him his expression was like a deer caught in head ...
A. 23 October 2012: Ouch, so sorry that happened to you, it's always a tense moment when you tell someone for the first time...and to be met with anything other than 'I love you too' is akward to say the least.
Some men are just not good at saying it, even if they ... (read in full...)
Should I just stop being in contact with my ex?
Q. This guy i used to date sent me a text message today saying " Say hello by all means, but i won't be out with you on Thursday ". I bumped into him yesterday when we were in town, and we had a chat. I told him that i would be out again on Thursday, ...
A. 22 October 2012: You met by chance, he tried to get you to go back to his place even though he knows you have a boyfriend. You refused but said, lets meet up Thursday, he gotten the hump about it and is letting you know you are back in the friends zone and he ... (read in full...)
She doesn't like vibrators what else can she do?
Q. My girlfriend likes to masturbate by rubbing her clit through her panties. I was wondering if any women who also like to orgasm like that have any suggestions on other things she might like? BTW she doesn't really like vibrators. Oh yeah, ...
A. 22 October 2012: If she's happy doing what she's doing, why are you trying to change things?... (read in full...)
How do I talk to her and not run away? I've already hurt her
Q. This if very hard. Admitting I have relationship issues. I just recently ended a relationship that has left me feeling empty and hurt. All because of a few things that may or may not be an issue. I've had security issues in the past and really ...
A. 22 October 2012: I understand if you feel insecure whilst in a relationship but life only offers you limited chances (especially in love) and if you keep finding fault and pushing people away, sooner or later you're gonna find yourself alone.
If you love this wom... (read in full...)
Why does someone dump you and then come back acting like he wants my attention?
Q. I dated a guy for six months. We were really close--I thought. He told me he loved me AND cared about me-- AND showed it as well. Two months ago he told me I was beautiful, intelligent, AND perfect for him but something was "missing" AND ...
A. 22 October 2012: Yes I agree with soveryconfused, block him from facebook, if he really can't live without you, he'll come running. If he doesn't get in touch, at least you will have your answer.
I think FB can sometimes be a lazy way to keep peripheral contact ... (read in full...)
Is it better to just walk away if someone is playing games?
Q. I had a passionate love story with a girl for 3 months. Infact 2 months where great but the last I could feel things where slowing down. She started witholding sex which made me really angry so I asked her if she wanted to break up or continue ...
A. 22 October 2012: Yes I think it's very possible that a girl would stop talking to you or withdraw sex suddenly if she either picked up and STI or passed one on. The fact you were having unprotected sex also increases the chances.
For some people it's a devastat... (read in full...)
What's the deal with Kim Kardashian?
Q. Hi, everyone. My boyfriend has a thing for Kim Kardashian. I personally think she's an overrated, spoiled brat. He has pleasured himself to her before, while we were broken up, but just recently I had fallen asleep before him and I woke up to him in ...
A. 22 October 2012: She is w*nk material, that's how she promotes herself and wishes to be seen.
You are his girlfriend, who he talks to, snuggles with and makes love to.
You are so right when you say 'poles apart' It's the difference between a quick w*nk and m... (read in full...)
But which one? The guy who drinks a lot and is cheating on me versus the nice good looking guy? And why do I still feel so much for the first guy?
Q. I am confused, i am in a good relationship with a great guy, who loves me and the sex is great. however he's in a relationship with the mother of his daughter.(they stay in the same house, she doesn't have anywhere else to go, plus he loves th...
A. 22 October 2012: Seriously, how likely are you ever to be with the first guy in a serious committed relationship? He is having his cake and eating it...sleeping with two women, stringing you along. If he was really serious about you would he really be having sex ... (read in full...)
I haven't felt this sad or hurt in ages and I just don't know what to do. He was so nice and now he just seems to have run away!
Q. I'm 49 and I can't believe I've allowed myself to be put in this position. I've been seeing a guy and it's been like fireworks. Thrilling every time. Now, after telling me he loves getting my messages and texts (some quite racy)...he hasn't replied ...
A. 22 October 2012: It's rather rude of him not to reply and to suddenly drop you, but some people, however nice they are at first, are just like this.
How long had you known him? Did you ever go to his home or meet any of his friends and family?
It's possible... (read in full...)
Why can't my ex leave the past behind? I did, why can't he?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this guy for many years after 04 we split for good I was dating him since 1983. Common-Law marriage I would say I finally built up enough courage to finally leave him. i made it out with his two children. N...
A. 22 October 2012: Think it's a case of regret for him and not knowing what you had until it was gone.
He is an abuser and he will always be that way. You had a really long substantial relationship with him and gave him two kids...now his life is pretty much in ... (read in full...)
Why does someone dump you and then come back acting like he wants my attention?
Q. I dated a guy for six months. We were really close--I thought. He told me he loved me AND cared about me-- AND showed it as well. Two months ago he told me I was beautiful, intelligent, AND perfect for him but something was "missing" AND ...
A. 22 October 2012: I remember you posted the exact same question quite a few weeks ago and were given several different answers.
I am guessing that not much has changed in the past few weeks and the guy hasn't come back to ask you out again.
It seems like he ma... (read in full...)
Is it better to just walk away if someone is playing games?
Q. I had a passionate love story with a girl for 3 months. Infact 2 months where great but the last I could feel things where slowing down. She started witholding sex which made me really angry so I asked her if she wanted to break up or continue ...
A. 22 October 2012: This is kinda out of left field but have you had yourself checked for STi's?
The reason I am asking is because if you have chlamydia (which has no symptoms)and passed it to her, it could explian why she has suddenly withdrawn sex from you and is s... (read in full...)
My married lover is putting up barriers to me seeing her. And she wants to hide me from her children when her divorce goes through. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I'm going to give the whole story of my situation. I know it's morally wrong but no one is perfect. So please don't respond if you want to talk about morals. I just need some honest opinions with my situation. I have been in a relationshi...
A. 21 October 2012: Nobody is asking you to discuss your finances on here. I know of people who won't split until the money is sorted out but it does not change the fact that your supposed GF is now single and if she is a smart woman, she won't wait forever...but who ... (read in full...)
Is it better to just walk away if someone is playing games?
Q. I had a passionate love story with a girl for 3 months. Infact 2 months where great but the last I could feel things where slowing down. She started witholding sex which made me really angry so I asked her if she wanted to break up or continue ...
A. 21 October 2012: People don't change and she is messing about because she isn't really feeling it for you.
Don't accept the scraps that someone dishes out, 3 months and you are in trouble...let it go.... (read in full...)
I thought we were going to be just friends?
Q. Modnote: your account name is new but I have read an almost identical question to this before. Have you posted this question before or read this before? Hello Everybody! I am going to try and be as honest and as front with everybody as I ca...
A. 21 October 2012: Excuse me but she is screaming out for a relationship with you, but she is dropping hints to test that you are serious about her (probably because you falsely accused her of cheating). You are giving mixed messages, arranging meetings and not ... (read in full...)
My ex is still obsessive about me. Why can't he move on? Do I cut my ex off completely even though my son likes seeing his father?
Q. Me and my ex were together for 11 years and we had one child together who has a learning disability. I ended the relationship 4 years ago, and will NEVER have him back. My ex is obsessed with me as he still believes that there is a chance that ...
A. 21 October 2012: I think you are doing everything you can do to let your ex know that you have moved on.
If you feel that his behaviour is getting threatening or sinister then you need to maybe log the complaint with the police so at least there is somethin... (read in full...)
Is what I do a fetish? Or am I am exhibitionist? My wife says people stare at me in public when I do this
Q. Am I wierd, I dont like to wear underware sometimes and when I go camando in shorts my package sometimes is noticeable. My wife says people keep staring but I dont see them I think she is just worried my junk will spill out at the wrong time. I ...
A. 21 October 2012: I wouldn't care if you exposed yourself, but I am a nurse and more likely to think you were suffering from some form of personality disorder. You could, however, expose yourself to children and end up getting arrested.
The whole thing about li... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my married ex
Q. My ex-girlfriend has come back into my life after a four year absence. After she broke off our engagement she had a baby with another man, who she broke up with afterwards. She is now married and has a second child. I have gotten over the ...
A. 21 October 2012: In four years this woman has been involved with 3 men and had kids by two of them... now she has itchy feet again!!
You are unnaturally hanging round her new family and this is kinda creepy, especially since you state you want to just have sex... (read in full...)
My married lover is putting up barriers to me seeing her. And she wants to hide me from her children when her divorce goes through. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I'm going to give the whole story of my situation. I know it's morally wrong but no one is perfect. So please don't respond if you want to talk about morals. I just need some honest opinions with my situation. I have been in a relationshi...
A. 21 October 2012: Agree 100% with YOUWISH...brilliant answer...and the correct one.
Until you move out and file for divorce, everything you say (because words are cheap)to your girlfriend means zilch.
You need to stay away from her and give her space to sort ou... (read in full...)
| *untyEm's friends
These are mutual friends, so *untyEm has
added them and they have added *untyEm!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
