A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for six months. We were really close--I thought. He told me he loved me AND cared about me-- AND showed it as well. Two months ago he told me I was beautiful, intelligent, AND perfect for him but something was "missing" AND we split. He says he is scared because he was hurt badly by an ex-wife who cheated on him AND hasn't had a relationship for years. But he's been divorced for 15 years! We remained Facebook friends. Lately, he "likes" AND comments on my posts daily, often multiple times a day. Last weekend I went to a party AND posted some pics of me wearing a sexy little red dress. He commented on the album with a single word: "Ouch." He also keeps finding little reasons to stay in contact with me. It's confusing and feels like mixed messages. I know for a fact he's not seeing anyone else. Why does someone dump you AND then behave like this?
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divorce, ex-wife, facebook, mixed messages Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (30 November 2012):
 Congratulations, I am glad you guys sorted it out xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have been back together since Election Night. It has been wonderful! He was afraid I thought of him as just a fling and was afraid of letting go, that he might get his heart broken. He said he thought of me every day when we were apart and I took a piece of his soul. The first couple of times we were together again, he was very emotional and cried. He said he finally had to break down and give in to his feelings about me. Things are even better than before. Let’s hope they stay that way. December 23 will be a year since we first got together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know you're right. It just gets me because before we starting going out, he was interacting fairly heavily on my Facebook page--although not every day or almost every day like now. I know that he told the secretary of another lawyer (he's an attorney) who is a friend and has an office near his that he was "talking" to me on FB. He's doing the same thing now but even more often, it seems.The day I posted the album with the red dress pictures, he went on FB and "liked" the album that day around 2 p.m. Then, later about 5 p.m. is when he left the "ouch" comment. And he's on my d*** Facebook page every day.When we first went out, I met him at a club to hear a band (his son's band), and he said later he was surprised. He said he didn't think I would actually show up. I think lack of self-esteem and insecurity is part of the problem here. I once told him I was lucky to have him, and he said, no, he was definitely the lucky one. So much for that...
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 October 2012):
Yes I agree with soveryconfused, block him from facebook, if he really can't live without you, he'll come running. If he doesn't get in touch, at least you will have your answer.
I think FB can sometimes be a lazy way to keep peripheral contact and can make people confused,that's why I only keep family, close friends and work colleagues on mine...just people I know well and trust. Anyone else who wants my attention that badly can call me on the phone.
You need to make a stand to bring this confusion to an end (unless you are enjoying the crumbs of course)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I agree that he's just being nice... and friendly without sending mixed messages.
the OUCH is because he knows he's a jerk that lost out on you...
personally I would block him on facebook if it' bothers you so much and then it forces his hand if he wants contact with you to actually contact you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I agree with AuntieEm.
He likes to have you in his life, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
I don't really see a whole lot of mixed messages. I see him trying to be a positive influence in your life. Not much else. I think you are reading to much into his comments.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 October 2012):
I remember you posted the exact same question quite a few weeks ago and were given several different answers.
I am guessing that not much has changed in the past few weeks and the guy hasn't come back to ask you out again.
It seems like he may be exploring other ares of his life and is keeping you on the back burner. There isn't much you can do to make him come back to you, but keeping in touch via FB at least keeps you in the loop.
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