A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have Just started some part time work after getting my life back together from an abusive relationship. A man in my work place has for several weeks been friendly but until recently didn't realise he was attracted towards me. He has now made it really obvious, and I recently realised I am attracted to him too, Other people must have noticed as he doesn't seem to mind being open about his feelings or if anyone hears! Half of me wants to enjoy it and see what develops and the other half of me just wants to put the brakes on now as if he is only interested in a casual sexual relationship, that isn't what I would be comfortable with, and would make life awkward at work. I also feel frightened by the strength of his feelings after such a short time, and can't honestly see what he is attracted to!I am a middle aged mother, and have chosen not to be in a relationship for a while as I felt I needed to rebuild myself a little.If anyone can help unravel this confusion I would be grateful! Thanks
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (28 October 2012):
 I agree, maybe just be friends with him.Men tend to come on quite strong at first so time will tell what his true intentions are (you want to make sure he isn't the office Lothario). If he is being sexually suggestive already, I'd see that as a bad sign so don't rush into anything physical because that could harm your already fragile state.
I think when you have had a tough time relationship wise, it's better to really get to know any potential partners really well before you commit, so holding back will reveal a lot. If he has good intentions he will show them in actions (not just words)...
Go easy and at your own pace and dont let him talk you into anything you dont feel comfy with.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (28 October 2012):
 Hi
Its nice to know a man finds you attractive, so I guess to start you need to look in the mirror and see what he sees,clearly not what you see!
I would be wary of a relationship with him for 2 reasons though, he is a work colleague and you need your job its another step in your recovery and independance, plus I dont think your ready YET.
So, be friends,continue to get to know him,just as your getting to know the others that work there.In time you may decide he's worth dating,taking a risk for OR that hes not for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012): The only way to answer all your question is to ask them. But, if you are not comfortable with a relationship yet and still think you need time to heal then don't get into anything. If you aren't happy with being single you can't be happy in a relationship. It also seems you have some self esteem issues. You need to work on that part of yourself, you are beautiful. Accept what has been given to you and when you look in the mirror point out what you like about yourself instead of the bad. I wish you all the luck with this possible new love interest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): Thanks for taking time reply, and I think your right
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A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (27 October 2012):
 It sounds to me as if you know you are vulnerable at the present time hence why you told yourself not to get involved. He could be a player or just someone who gets in too deep too quick. Perhaps you should consider just being friendly but allowing time for you to sort your head out before risking anything?
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