A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have met a great guy 13 years younger than me. We speak on the phone 2-3 times everyday, meet up 3-4 times a week.we met approx 4 months ago, have had a couple weekends away more planned and a holiday in 3 months time.we spend a lot of great time together but never overnight....should i be worried.also i am disappointed we wont be spending any time over christmas together and i will be alone.his mother lives an hour away and he feels obliged to spend it with her and his daughter in her early twenties whom he has never seen at christmas. He says this year is very special for his mother and himself. The three of them are lunching at a hotel and spending the night there. I know this to be true because i have met his mother.i do feel hurt but undetstand he is building bridges too.we are spending new year together. ...do i just grit my teeth and see how the relationship goes?He is very loving and kind so naturally feel upset about being left out.i do have family but they have plans too but will see them over the christmas period.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (18 November 2015):
 I fully agree with Honeypie! 4 months is a brand new relationship, and many people aren't even calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend at this time, much less spending family holidays together!
Also, given your age and his age, the age difference is meaningless! I'm guessing you both have had previous long-term relationships and/or past marriages before, so you both know that introducing new serious relationships takes lots of time!
Chill out this year, and next year when everyone knows you better, I bet it will be a lot more inclusive! His daughter may be in her 20's, but he's still being sensitive of everyone. AND - you can make New Years your Christmas together!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOoh thankyou for that.....i feel much more reassured now. I guess i have been let down so much in the past that i felt i was being rejected again but i now see how i am not. I soo want it to work. I am more relaxed now
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 November 2015):
 Do you grit your teeth and see how it goes?
YES. You have ONLY been dating 4 months. IF he is building bridges with his daughter and using Christmas to do it, then that doesn't mean he isn't caring about you.
You have already spend a couple of week-ends away so you HAVE spend the night together, but maybe no in each other's homes. Again, it's ONLY been 4 months!
And there is a plan for New Years and a holiday in 3 months! So obviously there are plans involving you two together.
Dating someone new doesn't mean leaving everyone else behind. Specially not family. And he HAS introduced you to his mother, so you are not some "dirty secret".
RELAX. You are wanting to have an "instant" relationship and that rarely works. Let it build. Get to know him. Again, it's ONLY been 4 months.
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