A
female
age
30-35,
*idepodslol
writes:To begin, my boyfriend and I have not been together long. I really care about him! I have two children and at first I thought he only had one. When we are together it's great and when we are not together things are also great. He will spend 95% of his free time with me. If we're not together we're always on the phone and not just texting. We face time and actually talk on the phone. He seemed very insecure like he was trying to find dirt on me which led me to believe he's got some dirt of his own that he does not want me to know. Over the course of a few weeks I just started snapping on him because I had a feeling he lived with his child's mother.Reasons to believe:He covered the address on his licenseHis son would be with him late hours when he would start work at 6:30 am Saw him texting his child's mother once and they were arguing about a basementWhen my friends and I picked him up he gave us a different address I wanted to add him on fb n tag him in pics but he deactivated his account after I mentioned it. He denied it at first. I got upset one day and he came here and he told me everything. That he lives with his child's mother and her mother and that he did deactivate his Facebook because he didn't want people causing problems (he did reactivate it but I blocked him) he also told me he might have a four month old daughter by his child's mother but he only slept with her the one time and that she was seeing someone else. He's only been in this country for just over 5 years I'd say. He says he was living with his cousin but they had a falling out and that resulted in him moving into his child's mothers home but to be honest I believe he has been living with his child's mother. Would it be wrong of me to ask to meet his ex like just to make myself known? He's bringing his son over to meet me soon but we will see. I want to be with him but if he doesn't get out of this situation I can't do it and I can see he's working really hard even looking for a second job but hey Christmas is around the corner I can't see him moving until the new year minimum. My place is far from his work and a bit too small for company but I'm trying to move to a better place but if I move before him I'll definitely feel a way especially if he won't move in with me. At this point I'm just really confused my instinct tells me to trust him because it's obvious he cares by everything he does for me but I'm embarrassed that I can't even talk to my friends about this because I know it looks horrible.
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christmas, cousin, facebook, his ex, insecure, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tidepodslol +, writes (31 December 2018):
Tidepodslol is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was married! I told his wife everything and cut ties with him.
A
female
reader, Tidepodslol +, writes (31 December 2018):
Tidepodslol is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was married! I told his wife everything and cut ties with him.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 November 2015):
 Yep. I knew it because I've seen it. I knew someone who called his wife his "on-again off-again live-in girlfriend". He never told anyone that he was still married to her, that she had no idea of the "off-again" aspect, and that she was pregnant with a child he begged her to have, then abandoned her when she was 9 months pregnant.
The guy you were seeing is a pathological liar. He can't even keep his lies straight. You did the right thing by doing your research and finding her. He doesn't deserve to live his lies, and you need to cut him off.
I guarantee that he is STILL lying. When this guy I know was found out by his girlfriend/unknowing mistress, he STILL lied! He was found out, but he still lied about the stuff she hadn't found out, like the 3 other girls he was sleeping with at the same time, and the job he lied about that he had (he was unemployed). He's still lying.
A pathological liar's lies are like rats. If you've caught one out in the open, there are still 100 living in the shadows undiscovered.
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A
female
reader, Tidepodslol +, writes (22 November 2015):
Tidepodslol is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFound out he's married! I found her on fb and I messaged her. Thanks for the advice everyone. She kicked him out now and he's staying with friends but I don't think that's going to last. He says he loves me and wants to be with me but I don't feel that in my heart. Can't believe people do this to other people.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (18 November 2015):
 It looks horrible because it IS HORRIBLE, His behaviour is HORRIBLE which is making you feel HORRIBLE. My advice is cut him loose already, too much baggage that you do know about and too much baggage that you dont. Go with your gut because it is probably the one and only thing you can rely on when dealing with, what I would suspect this guy to be, a cheater. I think a relationship that starts with lies is stuffed from the start. Its not real so why be wasting your time?Love yourself more than you do him. all the best
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (18 November 2015):
I won't venture to say whether he is just living with her out of convenience and without a sexual relationship, or has taken the relationship to a sexual stage. If he spends 95% of his free time with you, it doesn't sound like he gets along with her.
Either way, he doesn't sound like he's the right one for you. I'm sure you don't want someone who is insecure and has lied to you from the get-go. This sounds like you are with him because you don't have any other guys to date. Time to move on.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 November 2015):
You're the "other woman". You're the "mistress". You're the "strange on the side". There's nothing EX about this woman he's living with, or he woudn't have de-activated his Facebook. If it were just a residual living situation and she knew he was seeing other women, he wouldn't have had to lie and treat you like a dirty secret.
He is *STILL* lying to you. He's a cheater! You need to leave him, because the person he's pretending to be with you that you seem to care about is all a lie and doesn't exist. Want to test it? Go to his house, find his "ex" (she's not an ex!) and introduce yourself to her. I'm guessing she has no idea about either you OR the fact that he calls her the EX. Then he'll lie about you and call you some jealous person who's after him and a stalker/psycho/you name it. THEN, if she doesn't buy his BS, he'll say that you mean nothing to him.
I'm serious! Don't ASK to meet his ex. Just MEET her.
The guy is a LIAR. Actions speak louder than words.
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