What’s the best response to a break up message?
Q. If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...
A. 12 May 2016: Of course it depends on the reason for the breakup, but if there was no cheating, and it was a breakup, I wouldn't cry, scream, or do anything to compromise my dignity in front of the guy or in a message or phone call or whatever (face to face is ... (read in full...)
How do I get this stereotype about men out of my head?
Q. Hi there! I think I've recognised a bit of an issue in how I view men so was wondering if anyone has any advise for me! Leaving university next month, however my boyfriend is staying to do another year. He's going to live with a friend of m...
A. 12 May 2016: Hold on a second...is he living with her alone as two people, or is she part of a good-size number of people?? Right now, all stereotypes are aside depending on the answer to that question, because if he is going to live with her alone in a dorm as ... (read in full...)
He can't break her hold
Q. Why can't a married man give up his long term mistress? Even when he has tried more than once to stop the affair due to guilt and fear of being caught? Why can he NOT let her go? Despite so many attempts? His mistress has told him she does n...
A. 10 May 2016: No, there's no such thing as "can't" with him. He is wrapped up in the affair like an addict is with drugs or alcohol or smoking. He likes it too much, and quite frankly, he hasn't broken with her because you haven't given him enough reason to do ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because of her fixation on finding “the big one”?
Q. My wife is totally ignorant to me on occasssion. Thoughtless or worse. She cheated 4 years ago looking for 'the big one' as I caught her when she left FB open. It was a coworker and the brief fling happened after she lost her job. Turns out he w...
A. 10 May 2016: Hah! I'll have to watch Amok Time again just because you put that quote in my head, SVC!
OP, she's manipulating you, and she's been doing it ever since you were married. She's got you so whipped that she's got you convinced that your so-calle... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because of her fixation on finding “the big one”?
Q. My wife is totally ignorant to me on occasssion. Thoughtless or worse. She cheated 4 years ago looking for 'the big one' as I caught her when she left FB open. It was a coworker and the brief fling happened after she lost her job. Turns out he w...
A. 10 May 2016: She is controlling you using your own insecurity against you. What WIFE does that to her husband? A spouse should be the safe haven against life's storms, not the one who hurts you the most.
A big penis isn't some massive prize, and her actions ... (read in full...)
Would our guests from Scandinavia be horrified to see ants in our home?
Q. We live in the USA and are not really into using poisons. Thus we have a fair number of ants in our house. Mainly the tiny little ones that don't bite or anything LOL Anyway, we have some houseguests coming to visit from Europe (Scandinavia). D...
A. 10 May 2016: Yeah! Cinnamon works great on ants!
I lived in a home growing up that was bombed for a roach infestation that the former owner "forgot" to inform us about. We lived in the absolute sticks on the side of a mountain, and if I saw a lot of ants ... (read in full...)
How do I tell the FWB it can’t happen anymore?
Q. I have a friend ill call him ( a ) and we are friends with benefits but now ive met someone else call him ( b ) and we plan on having a relationship once hes back from his family holiday (no wife no kids hes single) How do i tell (a) friend with ...
A. 9 May 2016: That's what FWB is - unattached sex with no feelings involved. Don't worry about hurting A's feelings because your sex life wasn't based in it. Just tell him that you met someone you want to be monogamous with, and wish A well, but the FWB must ... (read in full...)
I put my foot in it! What do I do?
Q. I work in a condominium and have gotten the chance to know a lot of really lovely people. One of them is a lady "Mary" who has the absolute cutest baby daughter. She showed a mommy's day video made for her by her partner and I stupidly asked "Did ...
A. 9 May 2016: Don't worry about it!! Homophobia has to do with being deliberately ugly to homosexuals. You did nothing of the sort, and I think maybe you may have been oversensitive to her reaction because of your embarrassment of assuming she was straight. ... (read in full...)
I need to tell him I faked my pleasure!
Q. So this is slightly embarrassing, hence why I’m staying anonymous. Basically I lied to my boyfriend about liking anal sex and he now wants to make it a regular thing. Do I tell him the truth that I was ‘faking it?’ This all happened last we...
A. 9 May 2016: In this case, you really have no choice. The truth will set you free. I think you need to tell him that he cut you up inside, making you not able to sit down (anal fissures). Tell him your moaning was in pain, and that you swelled up so much that ... (read in full...)
My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!
Q. At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...
A. 9 May 2016: Yeah, I forgot, the *only* exception to this rule is the "heirloom" exception, where his great great grandma on the Titanic wore it when she was rescued in undying love and adoration for her beloved who saved her life and went down with the ship. ... (read in full...)
I have two women after my love, what do I do?
Q. this is the story of the first woman who is after me Im 20 and she is in her thirties. I moved in with my cousin in September. Within a couple of months my cousins wife made a move on me when he was at work and her son was up stairs asleep i was ...
A. 8 May 2016: You don't know what love is. You know what your ego and your penis wants, but nothing you've described is and will ever be love.
The one I feel for the most in this story is the new girl you're dating. You slept with her while still sleeping... (read in full...)
Why? He seemed interested. Then he dissed me to my coworkers
Q. There's a guy at my work place who I had a crush on who seemed to like me too. Most of my coworkers pointed it out and has been talking about it for weeks. He would flirt with me, playfully push or tease me and go out of his way to talk to me which...
A. 8 May 2016: You found out who the guy really is. I agree - keep work and personal life separate. Stop talking to this guy. A place of business isn't Sex in the City or some other "Will they/won't they" sitcom. This is your livelihood, and what you do can ... (read in full...)
I cheated and now I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Troubled and at the crossroads. Abort or stay pregnant?
Q. I am 21, have a 3 year old girl and have been with the father for almost 5 years. We moved together 7 months ago to a new house with a roomate who is close friends of us, (used to live at parents home, never had a stable relationship, always c...
A. 8 May 2016: What the hell?? What job would listen to an ex-boyfriend walk into the job and tell them to fire you?? No professional company I know of would fire someone without cause simply because of some personal spat. They would fear a lawsuit way too ... (read in full...)
My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!
Q. At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...
A. 7 May 2016: You're not a spoiled brat. Your fiance (you might want to re-think that) is being a lazy toolbox.
Before I give my advice, I just want to say that this is one of the reasons why I want to strangle De Beers for their stupid 1938 advertis... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend invited me to his graduation. Should I attend?
Q. Hi aunts!! My ex boyfriend just called to ask if I would be willing to attend his undergrad graduation in June 11th. He and I dated for 6 months and broke up twice both times because my best friend let me know he was cheating on me, though neith...
A. 7 May 2016: No, you shouldn't. The guy cheated on you. You don't feel "closure" because you refuse to close. How can you "confirm" cheating unless you were in the room while he was in the act.
When breakups occur, the closure happens when you break co... (read in full...)
How would my old high school teacher interpret this letter?
Q. Does this letter to a teacher sound good? Does it seem too touchy or weird? How would it make my old teacher feel? Dear [Name of Teacher], Looking back, my impression of you was that you were very thoughtful. Your demeanor was both welcome and supp...
A. 7 May 2016: I didn't consider this letter to be an "I'm romantically interested in you" letter, and I don't think it comes off that way, OP.
I say send it! At 60, it sounds like retirement to me.
My only thought was whether or not the teacher was fire... (read in full...)
My ex is flirting with me. How do I keep the friendship but not resume the relationship with my ex?
Q. A few years ago I was in a bad group of friends. Drinking, smoking weed, job after job, no hope for the future, and I was with a guy who back then seemed perfect but now not so much. When my Nan died, I got myself together, went back to college w...
A. 6 May 2016: You don't, because it's not a friendship to begin with. His girlfriend was wise enough to spot it and kick him to the curb for his disloyalty in carrying on with an ex behind her back.
He's not interested in just friendship, and unless you're i... (read in full...)
How would my old high school teacher interpret this letter?
Q. Does this letter to a teacher sound good? Does it seem too touchy or weird? How would it make my old teacher feel? Dear [Name of Teacher], Looking back, my impression of you was that you were very thoughtful. Your demeanor was both welcome and supp...
A. 6 May 2016: Before you send it, why is your teacher no longer teaching??
If your teacher is retiring or the decision to no longer teach is a positive one and the teacher's choice, I'd say it's a great gesture.
If the teacher was fired or something else i... (read in full...)
A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?
Q. I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...
A. 6 May 2016: Make sure there is never a third date with her again! She knows what she's doing. She made it clear here in her text:
"I'm just not sure how I feel but I def enjoy hanging out with you and would like to be friends for sure I'm just never su... (read in full...)
What's going on? Should I disconnect myself from this person?
Q. I need some dire help in trying to figure out this girl. Too shorten a long story last summer I had a major falling out with my very close female friend of 7 years. The falling out happened because all she did was complain to me about boyfriends and ...
A. 6 May 2016: I read your entire post. No, you *haven't* dropped the 7-year old friend. You may not be talking to her at the moment, but she's still the baggage around your neck, and you're still falling back into the patterns. My advice totally stands with ... (read in full...)
What's going on? Should I disconnect myself from this person?
Q. I need some dire help in trying to figure out this girl. Too shorten a long story last summer I had a major falling out with my very close female friend of 7 years. The falling out happened because all she did was complain to me about boyfriends and ...
A. 6 May 2016: I have special care for guys like you who can't get out of the Friend Zone and are getting frustrated and on their last nerve. So I want you to know that my advice to you is from someone who really does care about you, though I have never met you. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes meeting new girls and gets very flirty with them! Is this messed up or what?
Q. I have an issue regarding my boyfriend. I don't know if it's a serious issue or I'm just over reacting. Basically to put it in a nutshell, my boyfriend likes meeting new girls and getting to know them. My boyfriend is a very nice guy, but is also...
A. 6 May 2016: NEWS FLASH! He *is* the cheating type. Emotional affairs are still cheating. He led that woman on to the point where she was sexting him. He shouldn't be exchanging numbers with other women like that while he's with you. That is absolute ... (read in full...)
My ex acts like he's interested but he does not want to break up with his Girlfriend. Is he playing both of us?
Q. In my opinion, I am in a very unstable relationship with my ex boyfriend. As much as I love him and want to be with him, i think he's not being fair to me and being very sketchy. I don't think he's intentionally trying to hurt me but he's putting ...
A. 6 May 2016: You never mentioned why you two broke up here, but I want you to step outside of your tunnel vision for a second, and by tunnel vision, I mean your single-purpose mission to get back with this guy at the cost of allowing your intellect to get ... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 5 May 2016: You said this:
"I do agree the women who do this whether they're upfront or not are brave..."
No. It's cowardice on so many levels. Deception is born and baptized in cowardice. Selfishness isn't bravery. It's cowardice.
You being too t... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 5 May 2016: Here's a scenario:
What if you decide to have sex with a guy. Full-blown intercourse. Both of you consent. Yay! Sounds like a blast! You both decide that you're going to be safe, and the sex would be done with a condom.
What if, when... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 5 May 2016: I hope this is a joke and we're getting trolled or something, because if you actually believe that what we're saying is "funny" and you're *this* cavalier about STI's, not to mention considering that the threat of sexual violence is "weird", then ... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 3 May 2016: I can only speak for myself, but I don't tell fantasy stories. I give advice. Here's some:
Never deceive a guy. If it's clear that he's going to perform oral on you, and it's clear that he will have no kind of reciprocation FROM you, and he's... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 3 May 2016: I'm confused. Is this a mutual "outercourse" agreement where you both go down on each other, or is this where a girl gets the guy to go down on her only to fake a headache and bail before reciprocating??... (read in full...)
What do women think of very hairy guys?
Q. What do women think of very hairy guys? Is it a turn off and a major deal breaker when a guy is very hairy on his body? Be honest....
A. 3 May 2016: I personally don't mind it in the least. Back, shoulders, chest, works for me!! But here's my thing:
You have to be CLEAN. Meaning the hair can't look ratty, sweaty, greasy, or smelly. If a hairy guy showers, uses nice smelling shampoo ... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: I absolutely love to travel. I love what makes foreigners diverse, the different cultures, food, outlook on life, even the very smell and bustle in the air.
The number one peeve I have, and it makes me more sad than anything else, is the amount o... (read in full...)
We’ve been dating one month and I found his arrest records online! Should I ask him about it? How?
Q. I’ve been dating a wonderful man for a month. We’re very compatible, he’s family oriented and successful, and does everything big and little to show he cares for me. All signs are very good. He’s an entrepreneur and there’s plenty of info about him ...
A. 30 April 2016: First of all, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!! If only all people could be as intelligent as you are.
You could check court records, because if there are multiple arrests, there are also multiple trials or plea bargains taking place. Where I'm from, yo... (read in full...)
What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?
Q. I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...
A. 30 April 2016: Many girls do NOT have some other guy in the wings before breaking up. In fact, a lot of girls are smart enough not to fall for the "rebound" relationships. More likely, they dump the guy because the relationship has deteriorated to the point ... (read in full...)
He thinks I stole his money! I’m so hurt! Should I leave?
Q. Dear cupid I’ve been seeing a man for almost 6 years I’m now living with him he say he lost so I'm money and the first person he blames is me because we are the only 2 people live in the house but his son is always comes in as he please a...
A. 30 April 2016: Well, unfortunately I know firsthand some parents whose adult children have stolen money and/or things from them. In one instance, it was prescription pain medication and money/valuables, and the parents did everything to try to stay in denial ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sometimes blurts out something that just sounds wrong! What do I do in this situation?
Q. Hello, Need some advice. My boyfriend is a really wonderful guy! My only issue is that sometimes he means to say one thing and it will come out wrong, especially with friends/acquaintances or when a little tipsy. For example, we were meeting ...
A. 29 April 2016: LOL Cindy! You're right, I love a good debate, especially with intelligent people like yourself! ;)
See, in the "mugger" story, my thoughts were that the mugger would be in the wrong. Of course, there's common sense that you wouldn't walk a d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sometimes blurts out something that just sounds wrong! What do I do in this situation?
Q. Hello, Need some advice. My boyfriend is a really wonderful guy! My only issue is that sometimes he means to say one thing and it will come out wrong, especially with friends/acquaintances or when a little tipsy. For example, we were meeting ...
A. 28 April 2016: When I read your post, immediately the old proverb popped into my brain. "Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and those who hold their tongues are considered intelligent".
Honestly, if I heard a guy say that in front of me, I may no... (read in full...)
Why hide a text? Am I being naive to believe him?
Q. i have been with my bf for 3 years. we bought a house in 2014 and he had finalized his divorce in 2015. 6 months ago I caught him driving by his ex's house and confronted him and he denied it. then the other day it came up again and he said he ...
A. 27 April 2016: How long were you with him? If you've been with him for 3 years, that means you got together in 2013 while he was still married. You bought a house together while he was still married, and he finalized his divorce only after you two were ... (read in full...)
How do I tell potential FWBs or hookups that I only want oral or manual sex, not intercourse?
Q. I want lower std risks and no pregnancy risks. So I decided to try having hookups but only going as far as foreplay. What I'm worried about is what if they think I'm childish since we're all over 18? Or they may even be angry we're not f*cking... ...
A. 26 April 2016: I'll take it to the next level:
If you really want lower STI risks and no pregnancy risks, why would you look to put yourself in any situation to have physical contact with a guy? Why even consider the idea of a non-platonic friendship with a g... (read in full...)
I’m falling out of love with my boyfriend because he keeps rejecting me due to my weight gain of 15 lbs!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3.5 years, during which time I have been enrolled in a rigorous PhD program. I am 5’8 and when he met me, I weighed 155 lbs. A year ago he told me he hadn’t been attracted to me for about 6 months. He had b...
A. 25 April 2016: I would be betting that he is cheating on you, and criticizing you to throw you off the scent. He's been not having sex, but I guarantee that he is getting it somewhere else. It very well may be a porn addiction, in which case he can't become ... (read in full...)
Does she love me for my money? She never offers to pay!
Q. My girlfriend Lisa and I have been going together for almost ten months and our relationship seems to be sailing along quite smoothly. We're very compatible. We always have a lot of fun together and she never nags me. She's beautiful, classy and ...
A. 24 April 2016: Actually, I see this as a couple of different ways. I read your post twice and was about to write something in line with her looks making it easier for her to get favors from men, but as I was about to type it, I decided to read between the ... (read in full...)
Do I cut all contact with him? He left me feeling disrespected when he took my virginity and then just left.
Q. I've been friends with this boy for just over a year now, for a good 3 months last year we were seeing each other but things just didn't work out. He then had a giflriend and we were like bestfriends but now they've been broken up for a while an...
A. 24 April 2016: You said "They've been broken up for awhile". How long was "awhile"? Given what your age is, I'd be betting that he's not over your friend, his ex.
Yeah, he didn't just "take". You slept with him, and you GAVE him your virginity. I think he... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think that D*cks and sex are overrated?
Q. Now that I've been with a few guys I realize how small guy's d*cks are. Like when he's pushing it in, it can kind of feel big but once you get used to it, it's just not a big deal. And long and short lengths don't make a difference. The ...
A. 23 April 2016: Coming in late to this question, and after reading the answers, Honeypie hit the answer in her 5th paragraph.
Guys are going to get pissed off by your question, because to them, a penis is the measure of their manhood. But if they suddenly... (read in full...)
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