A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl. I'm pretty overweight and I know this a contributor. I haven't asked out many girls before because I feel they'll just say no. A guy who's in shape and muscled up is of course more attractive than a fat guy. Should I lose weight so women will finally notice me ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2015): since your a guy, you will have to do it solely for yourself
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2015): If you want to achieve a goal,you must have a reason to motivate you to reach that goal.You see fatness is a vicious circle, you feel miserable for being fat , so to overcome your misery you go and eat some more to feel happier and you get fatter.So you must break this circle. Yes you are definitely right there, that girls are attracted more to thinner guys.Actually we guys are also attracted more to thinner gals. So keep that in mind all the time to stop eating and start exercising and keep reminding yourself all the time when you get the urge to eat that you must stop. To attract the girls, especially if you have a particular girl in mind, focus on the image of that girl, that should give you great motivation and perseverance. Personally I made myself learn to play the piano in less than one year because there was a particular girl I wanted to impress.Also keep in mind that you can enhance your chances more if you have other pluses to your side, like having a good job,be ambitious in life and pursue your ambitions actively,be sociable and a good talker, dress smartly,take care of your personal hygiene,have confidence in yourself,be gallant,kind and respectful to the one you love.You can read a good book on personality development. Actually there was a movie a few years ago called shallow hal, starring Jack Black which dealt with this subject quite nicely. I hope this will help you.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 November 2015):
 Something is missing in this picture. If you are male in the USA, over 26, and never been kissed. It's not just about the weight. Women are generally not so shallow. You need to think about the whole package. Mostly stop assuming. Your insecurity is telling you lies based on myths. You should not be believing it.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2015):
 Losing weight is only the tip of the iceberg, and as many girls with eating disorders have unfortunately and in some cases, tragically found out, just being thin should never be the goal.
You need to be the HEALTHIEST you that you can possibly be. Genetics are different in each person - some people are built a bit stockier, and some are more athletic, and still more are built skinny as a rule.
What you need to learn is how to be healthy, and the best way to do it is a trip to your doctor for a physical exam, and a referral to a dietitian who will evaluate your genetics and your current eating habits to craft a great healthy plan for you! There's no point in just trying to get thin if you habits are reaching for the Doritos and McGreasy's. Also, merely eating less isn't the key either.
Food is FUEL, and nourishing food maximizes your metabolism, your fat burning capabilities, and detoxing and cleansing your liver, gallbladder, and other vital organs. Also, watch the vices! No one will fault you the occasional glass of wine on a date, but if you're the weekend beer warrior, that stuff can sabotage you calorically AND toxic-wise!
You should do it for you, but I guarantee that balanced healthy food will show in your skin, your hair, even your smell! Would you rather move in for a kiss with a girl after binging on Funyons and cigarettes? Or how about after a good balanced protein and veggie meal that will boost your stamina??
Remember, eating right and staying in shape gives you bedroom stamina as well, making your orgasms much more intense and your ability to please your girl that much better. I read about a guy on a gaming forum who talked about being so worn out that he didn't even feel like thrusting during sex, being upset that she didn't always go down on him or want to be on top, allowing him to just sit back. I'll tell you what that makes - A LOUSY LOVER.
So - do it for her AND for yourself! After your go to the Dr and get the health plan drawn up, then go to the gym and see a physical trainer who will educate you on how to exercise correctly, finding your target heartbeat, showing you how to use weights and machines (if you're not a free-weight person), and so on.
YOU will feel SO much better, it'll be like night and day!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2015): Women lean toward 'the whole package' when it comes to picking a mate. Attractive, money, personality, good father, etc.
But college-age girls are very superficial on average just like guys. They might like their boyfriend for his personality or how he treats them but they wouldn't have given him a chance to show all that if he had not been attractive in the first place.
Yes, get yourself in shape.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (16 November 2015):
 You should lose weight because you value yourself. If you don't value yourself no-one else will. As Honeypie says there are many added benefits in energy, mood and probably longevity.
Try exercising in a way which won't destroy your joints. Running is bad, cycling is good. Walking is also good. You need low-impact pursuits combined with a modified diet. Cut down on the sweet stuff and the snacks between meals for a start.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (16 November 2015):
Loosing weight and toning up will help your self image go up exponentially. You'll physically feel much better, too. Add some nice clothes and you'll feel much more like initiating contact.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 November 2015):
 Should I lose weight so women will finally notice me ?
No, you should lose weight if THAT is something you want. If you WANT to be fit and lead a healthier life-style.
However, a GUY who takes care of himself DO get more notice than one who doesn't. Just like guys notice a woman (or man) who takes care of herself and her appearance.
But remember a fit guy with a personality of a wet paper-towel isn't more likely to get dates then an overweight one.
So if you are going to hit the gym, DO it for you. It has MANY benefits. More energy, better moods, less health problems.
I have a nephew who is a BIG guy. He has a cute GF, who adores him, but he also have charm, drive, humor and a sense of adventure. He isn't letting his weight hold him back. Never did. But he has started going to the gym, because heart disease runs on that side of the family and being overweight doesn't help.
Sometimes people use their weight as a wall to keep others out. Because they are not happy with themselves. That is why it's NOT just a matter of losing the weight, but about learning to LOVE yourself for WHO you are.
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