A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone so i started talking to this guy awhile ago we have hung out a total of 4 times. he seemed like a really nice guy he was always telling me im beautiful or pretty and he said that he really likes me. Friday i stayed the night with him for the second time the first time we cuddled talked and watched movies we almost had sex he asked me if i wanted to and i told him no and he was fine with it. well friday we did have sex and i must say i felt awkward im not really sure why. he was still being nice and sweet. after we got done he gave a me towel to clean myself up and he wanted me to stay the night even tho he had to be up for work at 6am. the next morning when we woke up he kissed me before i left, and then he messaged me while he was at work and a little bit later throught the day. thursday he was telling me that he goes out of his way to make sure my face is the last person he sees at night whatever that means. anyway i started talking to him first and we talked every day for a week he was telling me how he loves talking to me, i was worried that i was bothering him and he said that i wasn't. but then after friday after we had sex he hasn't really been talking to me much. i made a status on facebook yesterday talking about how i feel used. he must have seen it because when i messaged him he said "crazy kid status" and i was like what status. he never said anything back. did he just use me for sex or am i over thinking?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 November 2015):
 Writings on facebook could be vague. Since you didn't want to talk about it why not change your status to something else, without referring to relationships. Let him wonder if it's him or if he's overthinking it too. After some days you will both forget about it. Instead try to learn more about him, ask him how his weekend was. Show virtues like patience, understanding and calm while he was just expecting you to be all neurotic and clingy. Then when you get on again then find out where he's at in life and try to get a sense of whether he's ready for relationships.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's been talking to me today, and we aren't dating. So is he wanting to just be friends with benefits. I don't wanna ask him and he hasn't said anything about wanting to be friends with benefits or anything like that
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 November 2015):
 I think what you just did was blow up your relationship.
He still wanted to talk to you and hang out with you after Friday, and you used Facebook to be passive-aggressive. Not cool. The "crazy kid status" means he was calling your reaction "immature", and let's face it - shouldn't you have had that conversation in private and not on Facebook for everyone to see??
He wasn't ACTING like a guy who was using you for sex! He wanted you to stay the night - he messaged you the day after, the whole 9 yards! You just got hypersensitive because you had sex sooner than you normally do with a guy, and you got nervous and ready to be all hurt because of your decision.
If you want to salvage this, apologize for the attention-getting display on Facebook and ask to start over again, plain and simple. Otherwise, if he stays away from you, it's not because he was using you for sex. It's because you went what many guys say "all psycho" about it afterwards. You got insecure before, during, and afterwards. You need to work on that part.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (18 November 2015):
You were overthinking. You thought that because there was no conversation after Friday it meant he forgot about you and moved on. If he loved had talking to you then he would still love talking to you after sex. He could be doing other things on the weekend or catching on some sleep. He knew your facebook status was about him and he was upset you felt he used you. Guys who respect women would feel insulted to be accused like that.
It could be unclear whether you are dating or just hanging out. I think this is where you are developing feelings and was surprised that guys could just take a few days off to themselves and think it's okay.
You had the choice to not have sex but you did. You only regretted it when the conversation quieted down. Maybe guys do not think about dating right away but that doesn't mean he used you.
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