A
male
age
22-25,
*ockey
writes:ok so for the past 5months my gf and i have been going out.It started off ok and is better now but see im an overly protective guy so i dont like it when shes with other guys, even if they're my friends, because i just cant risk losing her to some other guy Even if my family and hers think we are perfect together (how can i make sure that she feels the same way i do emotionally?) and right now i really care about her.I cant risk her getting hurt *this is rockey signing off* thxxxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 November 2015):
 You need to drop the notion that she can't think for herself. She is most likely maturing faster than you are! If anything, she's more in touch with how she feels than you are how you feel, so don't say that she just said yes because you're her first. Believe me, if she didn't like you, she would have said no.
I was your age when I had my first boyfriend. Unlike you, he was 2 years older than me, and I'd had a crush on him for a year before we got together. He was my first kiss, and I would have moved heaven and earth for him.
That all changed when I caught him in the act of making out with his ex while we were still together. I still despise cheating and the justifications cheaters make for their despicable behavior to this day. I wasn't the least bit confused, even at your age.
YOU are the inexperienced one here. Stop focusing on punching out other guys and start focusing on treating her right. You want a good relationship?? Then spend time with her and get to know her! If you think the sum total of your relationship is to watch out for other guys, then you *WILL* lose her.
A
male
reader, Rockey +, writes (17 November 2015):
Rockey is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontrust me wen i say this i am her first bf so she doesnt even know if she likes me and she only said yes because she never had a bf not to mention i almost killed a kid because he was messing with he lastly we do almost everything together for crying out loud i was her first kiss
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2015):
Let's get to the point:
You are *NOT* being protective. You have *NEVER* been protective of her.
What you are is TERRITORIAL, like a dog who has a bone and snarls whenever another dog who looks like he wants to take that bone comes around. Your territorial jealousy has to do with your insecurity at who you may think will "TAKE" this girl, and even extends to your own friends.
You need to trust her and not think of yourself as some inferior person she's with until some other guy comes around, or your jealousy, insecurity, and territorial demeanor will make her feel like you're putting her in a cage. You'll sabotage your own relationship if you let your insecurities rule it.
As far as her feeling the same way you do, you two are dating, right?? If she's with you, then she's into you! Be confident in that! You're not the little dog afraid the big dog's gonna mate with your lady dog. You're a guy she said YES to, so relax!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 November 2015):
 She isn't a "thing", she is a person and you don't own her. You are dating her. You can't wrap her in "bubble-wrap" (being overprotective) and think it will fix everything. Because it WILL only suffocate her.
Remember and accept that you can't control HER, you can't control everyone around you. All you can control is YOURSELF, and what you do.
Which means that IF you continue to act all overprotective, you STILL can't stop HER from deciding she rather date someone else or stop another guy from hitting on her. People can't "STEAL" another person. The only way she will end up with another guy is because she CHOOSES to end it with you, and date that guy. And if you keep pushing this... "she is MINE and I have to protect her" act, she might JUST decide to do that. Because it can make her feel uncomfortable and make you seem clingy.
She isn't some fine crystal figurine that has to be put up high and out of reach or she will be broken or stolen. She is a girl who has CHOSEN to date you, because she LIKES you.
You might intend to be so overprotective because it's YOUR way of showing you like her, but that doesn't mean she understand that or even likes that.
You can't "ensure" that she feel the exact same way about you. What you CAN do, however, is TREAT her like an equal, like a partner, treat her like you would like to be treated by the people you care about. Instead of treating her (albeit maybe not purposely) as YOUR belonging.
You two are ONLY 13-15 so still finding your ways when it comes to dating. You have made it 5 months already, which is pretty good. So tone it down. SHOW her you care in other ways. Like spend time together, do fun things together.
If you don't want her to get hurt, then don't HURT her. Again... you can't control others. And don't forget, she did fine before dating you (not getting hurt) and she will do fine later on too.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (16 November 2015):
The best way to not lose her is to make her feel comfortable, even if it means her talking to other guys. Your insecurities might drive her away. You need to remember that even if she is talking to someone else, she is your gf. :) Trust is important.
Unfortunately there's no particular way to make her feel the way you do. You just have to hope she does. And being overprotective is not going to help. Sorry
Good luck to you
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