A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28 and I've been having sex for a decade now with different partners (not a large amount, I'm not that kind of guy) and a week ago I ended up meeting and sleeping with a new girl in Vegas. We actually hit it off really well and it turns out she lived close to me in California. Even though we did it twice for about 40-45 minutes, I never ejaculated. I read about it and it fell in line with a condition known as "delayed ejaculation," where a man is unable to ejaculate or takes an extraordinary amount of time to do so. Most sites recommended giving up masturbation and porn for several days. I regularly masturbate and watch porn, so I felt this would help. 7 days later of not masturbating or watching porn, I met up with the girl again, and here is the really embarrassing part, was unable to get an erection. I had some wine in me that night, but the following morning I was still unable too. I really do like this girl, and want to continue seeing her. But now I'm really afraid I won't be able to perform next time (she agreed to see me again next week, was very supportive and kind) and might lose her because of it. So I guess my question is twofold, will a girl stick with the guy if he is having erection problems, and two, would it help me to go back to masturbating? Have any guys had this happen to them before? And as an aside, about an hour after she left, I was just thinking about her and got a full erection, no problem. You can imagine how incredibly frustrated I was. Still haven't masturbated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHappy to report that I'm okay now.
I just got way too much into my own head that night.
The following time we saw each other everything worked fine.
Thanks for the help!
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 November 2015):
 Sounds like you may have become hand-dependent.
If it doesn't take you a long time to masturbate to porn, then you don't have clinical delayed ejaculation. You're just so used to your hand and your porn-induced neural pathways that doing it "organically" doesn't provide the level of stimulation you've been used to. Hence, why it takes so long, AND why you couldn't get it up. You got anxious!
Look up yourbrainonporn.com. It's not judgmental in the slightest, but it explains what I'm saying, and porn-induced ED and delayed ejaculation is getting more and more common among heavy porn users.
7 days isn't much. They recommend at least 30 or more of abstaining from porn-masturbation-orgasm. Heavy porn use operates like drugs - it releases endorphins artificially, and your brain gets too used to it, making it tougher to gain that satisfaction with partner sex. You have to reboot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2015): Don't have sex next time... just tease the crap our of her and leave her really wanting more. Thats the best part of a new relationship for me! Myself and my current boyfriend did that for weeks. It was so much fun that I was kind of sad when we did finally have sex!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 November 2015):
 I can't answer the second part of the question.
As for the first part, I think that you can safely assume that a girl will stick with a guy if he makes sure she is sexually and emotionally satisfied by their intimacy. Instead of focusing on your penis and its performance, focus on her. You have fingers as well as a mouth and tongue. If you are feeling frustrated, spend time on making sure she's emotionally and sexually intrigued and satisfied.
And by the way, you seem to be confusing delayed ejaculation and impotence.
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