A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl ever. I live alone. I have a big collection of films and film memorabilia. I'm very shy. Partially due to my obesity, and that lots of girls in high school and college would say I was ugly. I also got hit with male pattern baldness recently so I don't have hair anymore. Definitely not tall, dark, handsome and suave. The only time I came "close" to a date was in college. I talked to this one girl for a while at a party. I enjoyed her company and asked her out, she said I'll get back to you, and we exchanged numbers. About an hour later, I see her making out with another guy and I didn't follow up after seeing that. I kind of knew where I stood in that equation. Online dating has been of no success for the past year, nobody is interested and that's fine, but I'm getting more and more depressed. I've thought about paying an escort to go out on a date with me. Like take her to dinner and a movie. No sex or anything but just a date. I'm hoping that experiencing it once will make me less of a nervous wreck. Should I pay an escort to go on a date with me?
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depressed, escort, exchanged numbers, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2015): The trouble with escorts is that once they sense your vulnerability they are going to make sure they clean out your bank account at the speed of light.An experienced person could even be taken advantage of in this way so why not save for a holiday instead or set a standard one hour fixed rate where you dont get beat up and you pay in cash if you must.Plus leave your wallet and credit cards at home.Finally escorts dont go to cinema and for meals.They escort you into a sexual encounter and get cash off you in return, maybe even your address if you are a proper sucker.Ordinary women go on dinner dates and to cinema.You really must not believe the film pretty woman with julia roberts because that was a body double anyway.Julia roberts never took her clothes off because she is too skinny to look good naked!A size 18 or 16 lower paid person flashed their figure for the nude shots ...I dont know your weight issue but obese is an outdated word as it was developed as a body mass indicator thing and it is obsolete now .Even a toned and rippling muscle body would be classed obese now because muscle is heavy and the calculation is just a maths thing.Its your body that houses your spirit.Ordinary women want to know ordinary men.Someone somewhere would love to be asked on a dinner date by you and would have a fabulous time..but not an escort..All an escort wants is money.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (18 November 2015):
 I think the money would be better put to use by getting into shape. Not for the purpose of catching a single lady but for your health and self esteem. Is that why you are shy, because you are fearful of people judging you on how you look? Would you find it easy to leave your feelings out of the deal or would you be at risk of muddying the waters if you had a good time with one? I think this is something worth giving serious thought, because an escort will be anything you want them to. I would say that women in this line of work are some of the most socially intelligent characters out there- They know just how to play the game. As long as your paying, your emotions are fair game.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2015): With the online dating thing are you striking up conversations with women or are you waiting until they talk to you? Are you only choosing to talk to certain ladies that you find more attractive than others? You could try and start talking to people you don't find so attractive because in my opinion some peoples looks grow on me if they are lovely people.As for the escort thing, a lot of people find that fake and not rewarding. You wouldn't get any kind of decent, meaningful conversation. But if you are depressed you could try it out. What's the worst that could happen? You could meet them and decide if you like it or not.I know it's incredibly hard to lose weight, I've been there myself!! But have you really tried hard to lose it seeing as you think that's the cause of all of this and not getting a date. How about joining a weight loss group as there will be other women in the same boat, it's a talking point and women love a bit of encouragement :)Women aren't totally obsessed with the way a guy looks, well women like myself aren't, I'm far more attracted to a kind face and personality than some suave jerk lol. Maybe you are being too hard on yourself, you need to embrace who you are and with confidence people will be drawn to you. Nobody else will love you if you don't love yourself so keep that in mind.As for baldness, Jason Statham and David Beckham look fine without hair, lots of men do! You are a movie buff like lots of women are, I could sit down and talk about Al Pacino for hours, I'm such a film geek :) So that's a great starting point to a conversation too, something you know lots about.Stop being hard on yourself about the way you look, women are not all hooked on the looks thing, not as much as you think.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (18 November 2015):
Going out with an escort wouldn't put you any closer to a having a relationship with a woman, which I'm sure you would like. Don't be discouraged by your lack of success at on-line dating...most women are very cautious and the ones who you would most be interested in likely have a line of guys attempting to sell themselves, often with false claims. So I don't get discouraged about that.I would suggest seeing someone who can counsel you about how you can go about asking a girl out. Then, you have to place yourself in where a lot of women will cross your paths. Think about doing charity work for community non-profits...good places to meet great women.I'll tell you that the guy I know who dates the most and gets the most girls in bed is not a good looking guy...bald, overweight, weird face. In fact, he often says that he looks hideous (I don't agree...not Tom Cruise but not hideous). However, the guy is always going somewhere and he has a ton of confidence and "game." He probably sleeps with two to three new girls a week...all of them hot. Take charge and good luck out there! I hope you drop by and give us your success story.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 November 2015):
 You should save your money for a therapist instead. Escorts are fake, and you'd be no closer to connecting with a girl than you are now.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (17 November 2015):
 The first thing you should do is register here and get a screen name and avatar. Then start responding to people who give you advice. It's good practice for having a relationship. You communicate, take risks, let people get to know you. Instead of assuming that you "kind of knew where I stood". And blowing them off without a chance.
On the other hand if you want to sell some of that memorabilia and spend it on someone to talk to, I suppose it's as good a use of the money.
FA
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