A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 17 years has been having an affair since last summer, I found out in February and he hasn't seen her since. But they still phone each other up several times a week which I find really hurtful. I have asked him to stop ringing her and to ask her not to ring him, which he won't, as he says there's nothing wrong with just talking to her. Is it me or him being unreasonable?
View related questions:
affair, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): You are not unreasonable. I was a mistress for almost three years. Yes, sounds awful and never figured I would be in this position. Had lacked affection of any type for 11+ years, became good friends with a neighbor, then we really clicked on so many levels and things continued. He went back and forth and is now with his wife. YET, he still calls me, tells me he misses me, wants to set up a lunch, etc. I knew he would be on a very short leash and had no real love for her (just as the mother of his kids) and wants to save his image, his pride and keep his family "intact?" Anyway, I have tried to move on and then he calls. Just hearing his voice brings back all of my feelings. Your husband should NOT be contacting her, but more than that, he should not even have the desire to do so if he TRULY is back with you. Only you know his heart. Do not fool yourself into thinking he is really "back with you" if your heart and gut tell you otherwise. You should not have to demand no contact, but if it is there, it is NOT innocent. They do not need to be physical to be cheating on you again.
A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (19 May 2007):
 he is utterly taking the mick out of you.has he always been this bossy and unreasonable?does he believe he can walk all over your feelings without and tact?give him one last chance to stop or you should leave.this is cruel by anyones standards.stop letting him walk all over you.
...............................
A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (18 May 2007):
 He's totally in the wrong here. He shouldn't be talking to her at all anymore...You are NOT being unreasonable by any means....it is very harmful that he is still talking to her. What's the reason behind this? Does he plan on having another affair with this woman in the future or something? What other reason would he have to talk to her anymore? Doesn't he want to make things right with you?
I think if he's still talking to her, there's still something there that he just can't let go and that's not fair to you at all. If he doesn't give up all ties with this woman, you might have to reconsider your marriage. If he's not going to respect you and prove himself to you so that you can trust him again, forget him...he's so not worth it and you could find someone that will respect you and treat you soooo much better....
GOOD LUCK!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (18 May 2007):
 He's being rediculous. He broke your trust, and needs to work overtime to regain it. Keeping a connection with this woman means he's not sorry for what he did, he's only sorry that you caught him. You're not being unreasonable, he is. If he won't cut ties with her, you should cut ties with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 May 2007):
 No, you are in the right here. He needs to break things off with her COMPLETELY. I don't see how you can still be with him! It would be very hurtful to know that my husband slept with another woman and then continued to talk to her. He is continuing to be emotionally connected with her, and that is NOT fair to you.
I wouldn't put up with this. You need to tell him to cut this stuff out and if he doesn't, I think you really need to think about this marriage. He should devote himself completely to you and if he has made a mistake (his cheating), he needs to put ALL effort to make things right with you. Talking to his ex-mistress is NOT making things right and totally disrespectful.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
...............................
|
