A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and I am very much in love with her. The other day we were lying in my bed and she started talking about how she doesn't want to have sex anymore until she loses weight. I keep telling her that she is perfect the way she is. (she really is). But she still thinks there is something wrong with her. She's actually lost a lot of weight from when we first started dating and she never had a problem then. I totally respect her decision on this, but i've just been really curious onto why all of the sudden she feels that way. A lot of things come to my mind, even the thought of her cheating on me. Maybe i'm just thinking too much about it. But I just want someone elses opinion on this. Please help =] Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Im having a similar problem, but i dont no why everyone always jumps to "He or she is cheating" maybe he or she isnt having sex with you because he or she is just not as intrested in sex as the rest of the world at the moment...everyone is diffrent, my bf didnt have sex with me for the first three years i knew him and i still dont get it all to often and sometimes it makes me feel totaly undisierable (i found this page by searching "my bf doesnt find me sexy anymore" because it was one of those nights)but in the end its me trying to take something thats about him and make it about me...she doesnt wanna fuck you because shes gotten to a point in her life or period in her life where shes just not feeling sexy...its not because shes cheating or loves you less...after my bf turns me down for sex...he could come at me full force and i wouldnt be having it cause at that time i just dont feel sexy! and although you should continue to tell her shes perfect the way she is and that you love her, shes not really going to beileve you...its just not how the mind works...the only thing that keep me sane is that i no my hubby, and i know he loves me and only me and that im his type to a t...if it werent for that i would probly majorly panic too!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): Bad sign - If a GF who you been sleeping with suddenly doesn't want to sleep with you, it's not a good sign. She should want to grab you by the back of the neck and say, "F*ck me!" If they don't, they're just not that into you or don't respect you as a man. Again, it's important to emphasize that a GF has to have been sleeping with you first. Women are tricky creatures, but if one has already given it up for you, and then decides that she dpesn't want to give it to you anymore, then,ouch, that's a real problem. Women will tell you differently, but, think of it this way, would she tell Brad Pitt "no more," probably not. But she is telling you "no".... problem. Your problem.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I doubt that she's cheating on you unless she's given you any other indication of doing so. She's probably telling you the truth and just feeling self conscious about her body until she loses that weight. So, what I would do is be sexy with her without pushing for sex - until she's ready to. Give her a back massage, revisit your middle school days and d some good o' fashioned making out on the couch. I like the idea of buying her some sexy outfits too, but I would take her with you to do the shopping so that you can find something super flattering on her that she feels confident in!
Go on long walks together - it'll help her lose the weight and bring you closer as a couple. And encourage her every step of the way. If she loses one pound, congratulate her, remind her how sexy she is. If she puts on an extra pound, just make sure that you're still making her feel just as sexy as you would had she lost 10!
Good luck, my dear!
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A
female
reader, Pandaholic123 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I feel the same way about myself though...But i don't refuse to have sex with my man- i love him with all my heart... And i don't even understand why i'm down on my "sexy" self. My boyfriend says the same things...That i'm perfect and sexy... I love his every words. They make me feel like a shining star- i'm just a nut when it comes to my weight i guess? =P Ironic...
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A
female
reader, lgonzal2 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Buy her some sexy outfits and help her make her feel sexy. Give her back rubs to get her in the mood. Just make her feel sexy! Keep telling her that she is hot and maybe she can get in the mood.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): It could be that she is just feeling very down about herself and not feeling very sexy. As a woman who has delt with weight issues my whole life i will tell you that this happens in spurts. Someone may have said something to her to make her feel uncomfortable about herself. I wouldnt jump to the conclusion that she is cheating, especially if there are no other signs. The best thing you can do is validate to her how much you love her and how sexy and desirable she is to you. And if she is active ablout losing the weight she thinks she needs to lose then become her workout buddy or something. Show her that you are there for her no matter what. Best of luck!
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