A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I need some advice and hope someone is able to help. I am engaged to a wonderful man and we have been together for nearly 5 years. However because im still young and in a dead end job, ive applied to join the Military. I am always thinking about my fiance and feel that i shouldn't be doing it, but it has always been an ambition of mine and i feel like i need to do this for myself, i need this challenge. At the moment i do the same thing everyday and i want something different in my life, but im not sure if whet i have signed up for is too drastic and im being totally selfish or if i should live my life. My fiancé is older then me and is settle din life, he is in a good job, good position in life, we have just moved out together as well.Is this the way my life should go or should i continue with my application for the military? I really need some advice and would appreciate anything you can give!Thank you x
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Hey darling,
My fiancé just signed up for the Marines. Mostly because of a rough economy, but also because he needed a challenge, and wanted to set up a good life for us. We're getting married soon - thank goodness he doesn't leave until September!
The good part about our situation is that I am finishing up my BA, so I've got things to distract me from him being gone for awhile.I think that you and your fella need to do some major talking about your future together and how he feels about you being gone for long periods of time. Since you are getting married, this could set you up a more solid financial future... and if he prioritizes your happiness and sees that you're not being challenged enough in life, he may understand and encourage you to go for it.
Trust me, I was sick of seeing my poor fella's talents get wasted day by day. And as soon as I found out he was going for the Marines, even though I'm a bit of a hippie-dippie, I was thrilled for him. Well "as soon as" is a stretch, it took me a couple of days to get used to things, put his decision into perspective and then give him my blessing. He comes back from his pre-boot camp workouts and he is so much happier. He's a brainiac too, and I think the Marine's will be able to put that to more use than the retail industry was.
Talk to your fiancé, talk to your parents, talk to people who you know who have gone into the branch that you're considering joining. Figure out what is best for YOU and your future.
Good luck, sweetness!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Like Emily says, only you can make the final decision. She's spelled out the options for you. Ask yourself if you'd forever kick yourself for not giving it a go, and resent him for stopping you doing what you want to do.
However, if you want advice on which of the armed forces to go into I could probably help out on that score. Service life isn't all excitement and glamour, in some forces jobs you can get bored to tears as well. The pay is excellent but believe me, you'll earn it!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 March 2009):
If you are signing up for the military it will more than likely kill your relationship.
After your basic training you'll then get posted to anywhere between Edinburgh and Cyprus.
So it's really the choice:
Pick him, be miserable, but he'll get to be happy, and if it works out then you'll have to hope you don't resent him, and if it doesn't work out then you'll have to hope you don't feel you've wasted your chance in life.
OR
Pick yourself, go into the Army/Navy/RAF, probably split up with him when the distance gets too much. In 4 years time if you come out then you can go back to him and hope he's still single.
Love VS Career is always a tough one and unfortunately it's only a decision you can make. It's different for everyone.
Good Luck!! xx
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