A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone who is bisexual tell me how they first realized they were bi? I definitely know that I am attracted to guys and I have had a bf. I have always assumed I am straight but my really good guy friend thinks that I am bi because we always talk about what girls are hot... I have hooked up with girl before but it has always been sorta a joke... Just because I'm down too... It's not necessarily that I want to or I am attracted to them... But I don't know... How would I know if I am bi? Do I have to have like sexual fantasies about girls? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): Hey,It doesnt really mean you are Bi, if you weren't ever seriously attracted to a girl or woman. You could be bi- experimental, which is normal. I am Bi myself. It is normal to say that other girls are pretty or hot, me and my straight friends talk about it all the time. It's no big deal.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 March 2009):
 Hey,
I think you're wayyy too concerned about fitting yourself into a box - gay, straight, bi. Well, sister that's a really big spectrum and there's an awful lot of gray area in between. You're young, you don't have to commit to being ANYTHING right now, except for experimental.
If your relationship with women is pretty much being aware of their physical beauty, well then all of us could be considered bisexual. Really, we all have eyes. We can look at anyone and say "wow, she's absolutely gorgeous", or "huh, he doesn't really do it for me", but that doesn't say anything about our sexuality. Our sexualities are dictated more by our actions, I think. You say you've hooked up with a lady once, but that doesn't make you a lesbian or bi, it makes you young, curious, experimental.
I think you should tell your guy friend to shove it and don't even worry about it. As you go through life you'll figure out your sexuality a little more with every step.
Enjoy the journey!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): You are only bisexual if YOU say you are bisexual.
Not someone else.
The worst thing you can do is allow some other person to define who or what you are.
It's ok to seek advice but avoid accepting labels that others may have for you.
IMHO, you need to define bisexuality for yourself and call yourself that only if you want to, not because society says so.
For me, I am more attracted to women than I am men. In fact, to put it bluntly,and please forgive me, I simply have a "cock fetish". I enjoy the company of men and women, sexually I'm more attracted to women. Does that make me "bisexual". I guess so.
Remember too that, unfortunately, its called "bisexual" for a reason. Do you want/desire to have sex with women and men? You may then be bisexual.
Are you attracted to both women and en but do not have the desire to have se with one or the other? Then you may be "bi-sensual".
(Unfortunately, when the majority of the world wants to know if someone is gay, lesbian, straight or bisexual, they only want to know how they like their sex. Buts that's another discussion)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 March 2009):
It's a bit of a process to be honest, and it'll take you a few years to figure it out. Many people think they are gay for a while before realising they are Bi.
The thing is that there are not just 3 options: Gay, Straight, or Bi. Think of it more as a rainbow, and you can be 99% straight and just enjoy looking at girls, or you can be 50/50 and want to have sex with both.
No one can tell you what you are, and you may not be sure till your 20's.
Let's face it, girls are hot and they are fun to look at with all their clothes and hair and pretty things. You may be 100% straight but heading for a career in plastic surgery / fashion styling.
You can analyse how pretty a girl is and it not mean anything.
Tell your guy friend to shut up and don't try and label yourself.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): if it doesnt do it for you, then it doesn't do it for you. I talk about about Johnny Depp on here - i do't fancy him (honest)
A hug and kiss does not make you bi. the one off lesbian romp does not make you bi.
I think you are at an age where its all new and exciting and you are bombarded with images and thoughts- the guy wanting to say to his mates yeah i had a threesome etc. but really only you can decide and it wont be for a few years in most cases before you know.
Find what works for you.
Star.x.
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