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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I have strong feelings for my female friend. How do I go about finding out how she really feels?
Q. I am a 45 year old single female who has a 52 year old married female friend. We have known each other for a year and have become very good friends. I am very, very sure she knows that I care for her in a way that would be more than just a ...
A. 13 November 2006: Be very careful. She might just be venting. Also you're reading her messages through the eyes of someone who is hoping for more. In other words, you'll grasp at any tidbit of encouragement she offers you or see things that are not actually there. ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my pretty gf as I think she's going to cheat on me!
Q. i have a girlfreind who's really pretty and she fancys other people as well as me and i dont trust her because i keep thinking that she is going to cheat on me with one of them...
A. 12 November 2006: If she fancies other people, perhaps you're not ready for a reltionship with her. That doesn't make her bad, it's just reality. ... (read in full...)
It seems everyone, is a cheater!! Is there anyone out there who still has any morals?
Q. posted 11-11-2006 10:13 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My life has been full of shocks lately. I've litterally just found out that an older lady friend of mine went to a hen ni...
A. 12 November 2006: I agree with the other comments. There are great people out there. What you're friend did was wrong and probably a one time thing she did due to the "pack mentality". All the women were probably encouraging her. That's no excuse by the way.
... (read in full...)
Readers...Just out of curiousity, what is your perfect mate?
Q. To any reader, Just out of curiousity, what is your perfect mate? or, what qualities do you look for when it comes to looking for someone? personality, humor. -- other than those. -Curious cat...
A. 12 November 2006: I think the list of the qualities we look for in a mate changes with age and experience. There are different ways of meeting people. Mostly, I think we are attracted by appearance, that across the room glance type of thing. After we meet though ... (read in full...)
Does she or doesn't she? She has me confused!
Q. I am infatuated with a woman I work with. We have kissed and cuddled but in a non sexual way. Neither of us are free. We have both agreed that casual sex would not be appropriate. The other day she arrived at work wearing a top which was quite ...
A. 12 November 2006: You're both on the road to heartache, yours, hers and everybody in your two families. At this time you're both at the teenage lustful level of the relationship. She shows her boobs, hopes you notice, you notice and say something, she blushes and ... (read in full...)
He thinks I am always lying and he's paranoid! Should I break up with him?
Q. I live with my boyfriend, I love him, but I can't be with him anymore. Lately he's been acting crazy. Accussing me of doning terrible things. Whether it's having orgies when he's not home to doing hard drugs with our friends. I can't handel his ...
A. 11 November 2006: If you're young, not of legal age, talk with your parents. If you're an adult, you have to know that this is just the tip of the iceburg. He's not rational. Either you did something to scare him or he's possesive,contoling and jealous. If it's ... (read in full...)
I think women need to stand up to the men who insist on using porn..what do you all think?
Q. How bloody stupid can some men be????? Despite the fact women are telling them over and over again porn is degrading and unacceptable (as they obviously dont have the intelligence to work that out by themselves) they still persist in trying t...
A. 11 November 2006: I think, in general, that men and women are wired differently. I don't know of any woman that's ever gone out to buy porn. I'm sure it happens but not nearly as often as men might. The concept of porn seems to be mostly geared towards men. That ... (read in full...)
I have a spark with my married boss but am worried about a work scandal! What should I do?
Q. i really really like my boss. i'm 21 he's a lot older at 45 and married. we have fantastic chemistry, and being his second in command we have a lot of time together. nothings happened as yet, and although he's joked that i'm too young theres a spark ...
A. 11 November 2006: I think you're very selfish and too young to know much. Some day I hope someone sheds some light on you about what is morally right and wrong. Everybody has urges. That's nature. Dogs have urges when they're in heat, we keep them in the house ... (read in full...)
Just found out she had a wild past, before she found religion and God. How do I deal knowing about this other life she had?
Q. I need help to come to term with gf's past. She had 2 different lifes if i can say that. In younger age, lots of partying, fooling around and things. Then discovered God, became very religious and she just hates that other period now. Only found out ...
A. 10 November 2006: Take the "we" out of the equation and you'll have your answer. You, have to get over it. She already did. If you're as religous as she is, you'll understand that. Do you really want to dwell on what she did before you came along. Do you want to ... (read in full...)
This married man is soo addictive..what can I do to stop seeing him?
Q. Should I carry on sleeping with this married man? I met this guy 9 months ago and started seeing him. Unbeknown to me he was married and just separated from his wife. After a few months he decided to get back together with her and give their ma...
A. 10 November 2006: You've answered all your own questions. The question I have is why do you feel so down on yourself that you would actively participate in such a rotten event. Not only do you step all over his wifes life and the rebuilding she's attempting, you ... (read in full...)
Bf told me I need to be tighter! I heard somethin about vineger.. but how?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex and he has told me that im not tight at all.. Is there anyway to make it tighter for my boyfriend? I heard somethin about vineger.. but how? please help mee!!!...
A. 10 November 2006: Tell him to put the stuff on his penis. Maybe it will grow larger.... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her but I suspect she goes out a lot behind my back! What should I do?
Q. i met a girl in the summer ,she is from poland and she left her boyfriend of 4 years for me which was a suprise for me now she is gone back to finish her final college year and is begging for me to go over,she sends me letters all the time and i ...
A. 9 November 2006: BabyGirl is correct. I mean, what is the alternative to her going out? Should she cease to exist because you're not there. Life goes on and so it should. You have to figure why you're being jealous of her. Really, you wouldn't feel better, and ... (read in full...)
I love my fiance but does she now love me?
Q. Me and my girlfriend of the past 4 and a half years have been having some issues lately. We were to have gotten married in may 2007, but we gotten into several arguments the past several weeks about buying my moms house. Her and my mother have had ...
A. 9 November 2006: It sounds like it's more than the house. To be blunt, she's talking about not being able to return your love. That sounds more like she's looking for a way out. I mean in relationships it's not usually all or nothing. If this is all it takes to ... (read in full...)
I seem to be craving the attention from my co-worker rather than my fiance!
Q. Hey, Im looking for a bit of advise on my 6 year relationship with my partner. I'm 23 and he's 28 and he's my first 'boyfriend'. The relationship was always great between us, we have good laughs and I do miss him when he's gone. I recently st...
A. 9 November 2006: It sounds like you're putting all the attention you should be directing towards your boyfriend to this other guy. And, you did cheat. Kissing is physical and passing personal information about your relationship is emotionalcheating and betrayal. ... (read in full...)
She was with someone else in our "break". It keeps going over in my head. Whaty do I do?
Q. My question is regarding my "cheating" girlfriend. Ill try and make this long story as short as possible. Started relationship with girl about a year ago. After we hooked up we dated and "dealt" for a couple months. During these couple months sh...
A. 9 November 2006: Why don't you trust her, she told you about it. She didn't have to tell you because you were broken up at the time so it wasn't really your business. What you're feeling is jealousy.... (read in full...)
My hubby of 13 yrs cheated on me with my sisters. Is it happening again?
Q. My husband and i have been married for 13 yrs. We were good then it got bad. He cheated on me with not one sister but two.. we split up. Now we are back together. again we were happy. Latly it seems that we are starting to go back down that road of ...
A. 9 November 2006: I don't know why you'd take him back. What he did was more than cheat, he chose the most hurtful way to do it by involving your sisters. It's obvious he was just doing it for the sex. The three of them are morally bankrupt. I don't know how you ... (read in full...)
My friend's wife had a nervous breakdown. How can I make sure my gf doesn't have the same problem? I plan to propose.
Q. A friend of mine has been married to his wife now for 13 years and last month I found out she had a nervous breakdown. I've been seeing my gf for 5 years now so how do I make sure that the women I love (i'm proposing to her on her birthday next ...
A. 9 November 2006: Well if she isn't suffering from some type of trauma or going through any type of crisis, she won't have a nervous break down. It's not like catching the flu. It's a mental problem based on issues, events and problems in a persons life.... (read in full...)
I want to know about my partner's past, but she refuses to tell me! Am I being unfair?
Q. My girlfriend is 6 years older than me (29). She is a very decent,church-going girl, she has even been a virgin till we met (2 years ago). Thing is she told me recently that she hasnt always been like this, that in her younger age (19-25) she ...
A. 8 November 2006: I think the first answer is way off base. The reason you don't know about her past is because you WERE NOT IN IT ! End of story. It sounds like in her younger years she did what most people do. She doesn't need to justify it to you or put up ... (read in full...)
My guy friend took advantage when I was drunk..we had sex! Do I tell my fiancee?
Q. Ok, this is really awkward. I'm getting married in August and I love my other half. Our sex life is not brilliant, when it happens it's great it just doesn't happen very often. I suppose I have to say that as an intro but maybe I'm excusing mys...
A. 7 November 2006: You ask a very important question here...How much of this am I responsible for? Unless you were passed out and unable to defend yourself, I'd say 50 %. I'll probably get accused of being insensitive but what I'm about to say is very important. ... (read in full...)
I'm flirting with other people because he flirts with other girls!
Q. I have a boyfriend with whom I've been dating for a year now. He's 42 and I'm 30. Also, we were co-workers in the same department. Over the year, I come to realize that he is very flirtatious with other women. At first, our relationship was new, and ...
A. 7 November 2006: Well, he wants what he wants for himself but because he knows it's wrong, you can't do it. I don't know how he can argue the point but many people do. In some cultures, this is very common. That is a generalization but it has some truth. He will ... (read in full...)
There is sexual tension between me and my crush..but I love my bf! What should I do?
Q. I'm 21 and have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I am happy with my relationship. But then there is this guy - I have known him from back at school when I had a serious crush on him. We have kept in touch over the 3 years and ...
A. 7 November 2006: You ARE cheating on your boyfriend. Since when does sleeping in the same bed, wrestling, kissing, holding hands etc. constitute appropriate behaviour for somebody in a relationship. What did your boyfriend say when you told him about it......I bet ... (read in full...)
I think she's having an affair! Was I right to question her?
Q. I have been seeing my girlfriend for just under a year. She changed jobs a few months ago, and now works long late hours in a golfclub bar, mostly at weekends when I am off work. She is very outgoing attractive and enjoys men's attention, but tells ...
A. 6 November 2006: It doesn't mean she's cheating but I would find it a little strange is she were spending that much time with a guy and not mentioning it. If my wife was going out to lunch with some guy, I presume she'd tell me if for no other reason than to let me ... (read in full...)
I love my bf..but am falling hard for someone else! What should I do?
Q. hi my boyfriend has been on holiday and ive met someone else which i think im falling for im so confused because i love my boyfriend and cnt imagen life without him but im falling for someone else pls help xxx...
A. 6 November 2006: If you're spending too much time with this other guy perhaps you don't love your boyfriend as much as you think. How old are you? You're always going to meet others who attract you. Are you going to leave your current partner in life everytime ... (read in full...)
Porning husband or a "true" gentlemen. Is the grass greener?
Q. porning husband or true gentleman?? I have been married 10yrs. My husband reads porn and ogles other women when we are out. Even though I have told him it hurts me he has toned it down but seems to have trouble stopping. I also have a male frie...
A. 6 November 2006: It sounds like your husband doesn't stand a chance because you're already interested in the other guy. I'm not justifying his behaviour but there might be more to it. Does he have any good qualities. How much porn does he look at? How often does ... (read in full...)
Trying hard to avoid a crush at work as I'm married with kids! Any advice ?
Q. Hi there. I'm A happily married man. I dearly love my wife and we have 2 beautiful children. We are together since we were 16 and have never had any other partners. However I have got this wee crush on another Woman in work. I know its a non r...
A. 5 November 2006: You've already cleared the biggest hurdle. You're facing the facts and palnning to deal with your feelings. Remember, they're just feelings. They mean nothing because you're already married. Feelings come and go. It's your job to realize that ... (read in full...)
I love her but she's spoken for.. what are these signals she's sending me?
Q. (names are not real) I met Sarah as a trainee (I was training her) and after the second training session I became really fond of her. As time progressed my feelings grew and grew, then disaster, discovered she has been dating Dave for a number of ...
A. 4 November 2006: Ask her what happened. Don't get your hopes up though as she might feel rotten for behaving like she has with you. Don't forget, she did have a guy.... (read in full...)
In our break I met somebody else. Now I don't know what I want!
Q. Hello i hope someone can help me make sense of what i am going through just now, i have so many mixed emothions and feel really confused. I will try to keep this as short as i can. Well the thing is I was with my fiance for 4 years, i am 28, he is ...
A. 4 November 2006: You had a one night stand.....sort of....Technically you were not with your fiance. Don't put to much stock in this 21 year old guy. He's probably not looking for a relationship, although anything is possible. If you choose to be with your ... (read in full...)
My married lover said his wife and him don't connect...she gave birth today!! I had no idea she was even pregnant. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I need help.. I fell in love with my married boss.. i know its stupid.. but i did..this was over 2 years ago.. both of us had moved into a new city and were working in the same organization. His family (wife and kid) were in another city and...
A. 1 November 2006: Why would be honest and respectful to you...you're the other cheater, you're not even married to him. You're staus is the same as the cjick he meets. You get nothing but left overs and any spare time he decides to give you. Funny he's not that ... (read in full...)
Because I didn't have a threesome with my hubby, he won't have sex with me anymore!!
Q. I have been married to my husband for 24 years. I love him more than anything in the world, and I have never been out on him. We used to watch porn movies, and fantasise about bringing another female into our bedroom to share, and play with. Because ...
A. 1 November 2006: Don't let him fool you. He might have got his hopes up and thought you were on the same page as him but if you're not into it, DON'T do it. You'll regret it later and you might even resent your husband for talking you into it. Actually, he ... (read in full...)
His muslim family won't accept me as I have a child. What can I do?
Q. i have been with my partner for 9months but we seem to have a problem. as his family won't accepet me because i have a child. as his family are muslim? really need some advice please...
A. 1 November 2006: Well, they are the ones who are wrong. They want the best for their son and probably feel a woman with a child would be more of a burden. Perhaps they question your morals, if you became pregnant out of wedlock. The concept of their concerns are ... (read in full...)
Should I accept the downgrade to "friends" from my affair guy?
Q. Hi all, I am married and I have been having an affair for the past 10 months. I know its wrong and I have learnt to accept that. I fell in love with the new man. About 6 weeks ago, his attitude towards me changed.He keeps on saying he has to work ...
A. 1 November 2006: You ask if he can be trusted. No, and neither can you !! Who cares about the gifts and the all the trivial aspects of this. You're living in the world of "poor me". You say you have learned to accept the fact your affair is wrong. I hope it ... (read in full...)
Started an affair with my husband's brother...
Q. I got married 2 months ago to a man I had been living with for 2 years previously. My husband is a wonderful man who I truly love but unfortunately our sex life has never been fantastic. However I thought this was not important as we get on so ...
A. 31 October 2006: Why would you want to see them both? Give your head a shake and grow up. You use words to describe your husband such as "wonderful, truly love". I could think of some others. You won't get any sympathy from me. You've been married two months ... (read in full...)
My wife is HIV positive. Should I continue a relationship with her?
Q. I meet my wife after six months we got married within another six month later, she got pregenat, and within two weeks she was diagonised for (hiv)positive. I was confused and afraid, i went for my own hiv test but as God will have his way, i was ...
A. 30 October 2006: I had a friend who was HIV positive. This was about 20 years ago and the information about AIDS and HIV was available but somewhat misunderstood by many. We ended up moving away, back to our country, and only ever saw her again once when we ... (read in full...)
How do I come to terms with my fiancee kissing another man?
Q. i have a trust issue with my fiancee and it is over a stupid kiss that someone gave her . when i asked the meaning of it she became very evasive and till that point we never had an arguement . the fact is i saw it and she denied it! if it was so ...
A. 28 October 2006: You should tell us what her explanation was. That would make it easier to offer advice.... (read in full...)
Is kissing classed as cheating?
Q. Dear Cupids, If you are in a relationship do you see kissing someone else as cheating??...
A. 27 October 2006: Of course it's cheating. If you need to ask the question, you already know the answer.... (read in full...)
How do I remove the sexual tension and make our work environment more friendly?
Q. I just got married five months ago, we just recently moved right after getting married. I find myself now with a schoolgirl crush on my boss, who is about 15 years older than me and has a wife and toddler at home. He's really smart and attractive; ...
A. 27 October 2006: It sounds like he has already started to distance himself from you. A question, if your priorities are to keep this cordial, why are you so concerned about how he reacts to you not noticing him. How do you know he's not making eye contact unless ... (read in full...)
How do I remove the sexual tension and make our work environment more friendly?
Q. I just got married five months ago, we just recently moved right after getting married. I find myself now with a schoolgirl crush on my boss, who is about 15 years older than me and has a wife and toddler at home. He's really smart and attractive; ...
A. 27 October 2006: It sounds like he has already started to distance himself from you. A question, if your priorities are to keep this cordial, why are you so concerned about how he reacts to you not noticing him. How do you know he's not making eye contact unless ... (read in full...)
I trust her and know she loves me but will the situation cause her to be tempted to someone else???
Q. Hi, I am asking this question to help my own mind about this, and I'd love any ideas! My girlfriend who i trust has gone to Mexico with her girlfriend(who is in love with someone). It is a company trip with 40 people at a 5 star resort. I didn't...
A. 22 October 2006: I'd like to add something. What would have been your alternative? Would you have stopped her from going away? What must be learned here is that we do not own or control people. At least not for very long. We just hope for honesty. You have to ... (read in full...)
I trust her and know she loves me but will the situation cause her to be tempted to someone else???
Q. Hi, I am asking this question to help my own mind about this, and I'd love any ideas! My girlfriend who i trust has gone to Mexico with her girlfriend(who is in love with someone). It is a company trip with 40 people at a 5 star resort. I didn't...
A. 22 October 2006: My friend, I went through the same thing. I'm not ashamed to say that it almost ruined me and my marriage. My wife spent a few days in a resort town with a friend of ours and her fiance. EVERY thought you have, I had, including drinking, the ... (read in full...)
My husband works away and he's just informed me that he is having an affair!!!
Q. Hi my husband of 11 years has just informed me he is having an affair with a woman where he works, he works out of the country and has done for the last 2 and half years, he is away for 6 weeks at a time and only home for 2 weeks. I think the affair ...
A. 22 October 2006: Well, taking him back is very big of you. First you have to really explore what happened in your relationship. While lack of attention from you could certainly help push him along that path, why did you ignore him in the first place? Did he ... (read in full...)
I can't stop these crazy thoughts!
Q. I need help on how to get over thoughts. EVERYONE has crazy thoughts but some people that could have OCD obsess over the thoughts. Ok, you know how little kids do crazy sexual things when they are young. Well, i thought i raped another kid when i ...
A. 21 October 2006: If you're alreaady seeing a psychologist, bring it up. It's a piece of the puzzle that needs to come out. OCD can be treated with medication and cognitive therapy but it takes work. ... (read in full...)
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