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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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There is nothing wrong with him, other than I am a little bored
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now (we're both 20). For the past three months, we have spent literally 24/7 together. We have all classes together, are together even when not in class, sleep together every night, I don't even SHOWER ...
A. 28 November 2006:
Well the good news is you've figured out what the problem is. You're bored. No matter who you end up with, life at times, IS BORING. If you meet another guy, you will still have your challenges. Things become routine and mundane. Perhaps you'... (read in full...)
The lipstick on his collar looked suspicious...what do you all think?
Q. With my b/f for a year. One night we were lying together on the couch and the lower collar of his white t-shirt i see a straight line thats about half an inch. To me, it looked like lipstick that wasn't mine. (It wasn't bright red or anything so i...
A. 27 November 2006:
You've given many reasons why it might not be lip stick. You're trying to convince yourself it's not. That's understandable. The fact is you'll never know. I know it's difficult to let it go. Talk to your guy. Let him know how you feel. But,... (read in full...)
Ooops! Sent my married friend, an email professing my love for him! I think I messed up badly-he has not responded!
Q. Five months ago, I met a man who was also my doctor. I'm not his patient now but we are still in touch via email. A few days ago, he called me to call off a formal engagement. He sounded cool on the phone, probably because his wife was nearby. We ...
A. 26 November 2006: Have you considered staying out of his life since he's a married man? Really, you hugged for a long time. How nice. Is that something to build a relationship on?... (read in full...)
How can I make him trust me? Any ideas?
Q. how can i make him trust me? i met this guy on holiday this summer i've been seeing him snce then, but he doesn't want to get into a relationship because he doesn't trustme because of an incident that occured with one of his friends when we came bac...
A. 26 November 2006: Well, what did you do with his friend to cause him to distrust you?... (read in full...)
Caught my GF wanting to cheat on me by using a fake online profile! Now what?
Q. Caught my GF wanting to cheat on me by using a fake online profile! Now what? I have the same situation but I am a guy. She is in South America but we are thinking about getting married and stuff and I made a fake profile and I seduced her and ...
A. 26 November 2006: What do you mean, you're in the same situation but you're a guy? What is the difference?... (read in full...)
My bf treats me badly, so I met a nice guy in a chat room...should I meet him?
Q. help me. I feel so terrible, I've done a terrible thing. My boyfriend and me have had our share of problems.. I feel like he ignores me and tries to control me. I have posted questions about our relationship on this website before. Las...
A. 26 November 2006: It's simple. If you're unhappy, as you say, leave your boyfriend and move on. If you're really interested in this stranger from "computerland", feel free to see him. Make sure he's single though before you start. In other words, end your current ... (read in full...)
My mistress of 5 years left me...and I am so heartbroken! Any advice?
Q. hi, i am 45 years old, married man. I have been having an affair with a lady for 5 years. she is aware i am married and have children. ilove her very much but cannot leave my wife and children. this lady has now left me and will not talk to me or re...
A. 25 November 2006: Wow, you're having all the same feelings your wife would have if she knew what you were up to. ... (read in full...)
My male friend has jokingly implied, .we have something going on. This concerns me because ..he's married!!
Q. This male friend of mine has on a couple of occassions implied something has been going on between us. A couple of examples once when i saw him about 3 times within 24 hours he commented on it and said people will talk another time when i was w...
A. 24 November 2006: Both situations sound like he was joking. The first time being the coincidence that you bumped into eachother three times in 24 hours and the second when he joked about what you told your friend.
Maybe you're hoping he's serious. I'm married ... (read in full...)
She says I am more like her best friend than her bf. What should I do?
Q. Hi there, what should a guy do when his girlfriend mentions every few days that he feels like her best friend and not a boyfriend?...
A. 23 November 2006: Nobody here no exactly what it means. Much of it depends on how it was said. It could mean any of the above or it cold just mean that she feels you are always there for her.... (read in full...)
If a guy is crazy in love with you and you just want to be friends... Would that work?
Q. Can you be friends with a guy who's crazy in love with you or just tell you cant be anything to him ...
A. 23 November 2006: Once the cat is out of the bag, I think it's too late. He likes you. And the other response put it correctly, you have different hopes and expectations. What you see as just ebing nice or sociable, he'll read as you becoming weaker. This is ... (read in full...)
Why are people's sexual pasts such an issue for some people, mainly women?
Q. Why are peoples sexual pasts such an issue for some people, mainly women? I have a problem with the number of women my man has slept with (over 100) and some of my friends do too (nowhere near that many!) What causes these problems? Why ca...
A. 22 November 2006: It's one of those unfair things in life. Men and women ARE different, most of the time. There is some crossover but in general, we're wired differently, as one of my favourite agony aunt says.
Men, in general are the hunters. Women are accu... (read in full...)
MY husband has been having wet dreams a lot, What's wrong?
Q. Hi I have been with my husband for 13 years. Over the past 6 months he has started to have wet dreams. He tells me that he has no control over these, our sex life is still active but obviously not as much as when we first met! He is 34 I am 40. I ...
A. 22 November 2006: Maybe he's going through some type of stage. Don't bother him about it though. What do you propose he do about it? If you're feeling insecure, that is for you to deal with, perhaps with his help. Men don't plan wet dreams... (read in full...)
She cheated and now I can't get the image of her and some other guy out of my mind!
Q. I've been with this girl for 3 years. She cheated and I'm trying to forgive her and give her a second chance because she realized she messed up. I am having trouble getiing visions out of my head of her giving oral and having sex with this guy. What ...
A. 22 November 2006: There's not much you can do but forgive and move on. I'm not sure I could but if you want to, it takes time. She did what she did because she wanted to do it. She enjoyed what she was doing in that moment. You can not change that. What she ... (read in full...)
I just want to be friends with this interesting new lady. So how do I not ruin it?
Q. I've just recently made friends with a lady who happens to be the same age as myself and she's really great to get along with! So much so that I now have something to look forward to when going to work in the a.m. (as we met on public transport a ...
A. 21 November 2006: I agree with Irish49, men can respect boundaries but are probably more easily swayed or tempted to cross them too. Men have a much easier time being physical with a woman merely for the sake of sex. That doesn't mean we're bad, just different than ... (read in full...)
Husband has fallen for my cousin! We've had problems and he loves her. Should I just call it a day?
Q. My husband has fallen in love with my cousin. They know I know. I threw him out and he stayed with his sister for a while. We talked and decided to give it another go. I know he still loves her, I think they talk and may be see each other. I only ...
A. 19 November 2006:
I think you should call it a day. I only say this because it sounds like you haven't had a real reltionship for soooo long. If your kids already know all this, what are you protecting them from? It sounds like you two neglected the problem year... (read in full...)
We had an argument over the barmaid with the ugly tattoos and he refuses to apologize!
Q. Hi My b/f and i were at a bar that was somewhat grundgy. The bartender had these ugly tatoos on her arm and something in her lip and wearing leather so her bo*bs can hang out a little. And it pretty much looked disgusting. By the time we were rea...
A. 19 November 2006:
Do you REALLY think you're the only woman he finds attractive? REALLY? That would be totally impossible and unrealistic. If he told you that, it wold be a lie. Is he the only man you've ever found attractive? I doubt it. Just because you'... (read in full...)
He checks my phone to make sure I am telling the truth. What is his problem?
Q. One night I had a funky feeling that my son woke up (I wasn't home, I was out w/my boyfriend,I told him that I got a call to go home that my son woke up crying. He straight up took my phone and checked to see if it was true. He has never done ...
A. 19 November 2006: Well, did you actually get a call or not? You say you had a "funky feeling". I'm asking if your phone rang or if you just had a feeling something happened. You don't say if you aactually got a call or if you lied because what you were saying ... (read in full...)
ive turned to hypnosis to help save myself and my marriage
Q. My husband and i thought we were indistructable as we had such a strong happy relationship. But issues i have within myself have ruined the marriage. I've read up on so many relationship problems and solutions in an attempt to fix things but they ...
A. 19 November 2006:
You haven't said what you did wrong. That information might help to understand your husbands' feelings.... (read in full...)
He married to another but he is my soulmate! I'm giving up on all this..am I doing the right thing?
Q. Should I give up my soulmate? We met in 2005 at work, but developed a close relationship over the next few months. We understood each other completely, often times without even saying anything. We stood by each other through problems and though w...
A. 19 November 2006: Rythmanandblues says it all. It's very difficult to "try" and repair your marriage while you're running around with your "soul mate" telling him all the mundane details of your life. He then, says what you want to hear and fuels your fire. It's ... (read in full...)
We split up 16 weeks ago and I am struggling. Any good advice to helping myself is appreciated!
Q. Hello, its 16 weeks since my husband of 7 years and I split up, I wasnt expecting it and have really struggled although my friends and family have been very supportive. I havent cried now for 2 weeks, even though he is on my mind constantly and I ...
A. 18 November 2006: I can understand how some people would not want kids. I agree with you though. I can say my life would be quite hollow without my children. My daughter is 17 and my son is 14. In my opinion, you can never feel love like you feel for your kids ... (read in full...)
Have feelings for my friend's husband and I feel guilty! Is it wrong to tell him my true feelings?
Q. I have been very depressed lately. I still have serious feelings for my friend's husband. We started to email each other last month, but then stopped... we decided we should just talk over the phone if there was something to say. I found out that ...
A. 18 November 2006: You can't work on your marriage and keep contact with this other man. If you do you'll look for reasons to sabatoge your marriage. Everytime your husband does something that bothers you, it will be magnified ten fold.
Since you've never admi... (read in full...)
Her guy friend is telling her, he loves her and that I treat her like sh*t! What can I do about this?
Q. I have a girlfriend who has a best friend who i think are too close and now he is telling her that he loves her and that i treat her like s**t im really annoyed about it what should i do ?...
A. 18 November 2006: IF this guy is saying these things to your girlfriend, he's crossing the line. If she knows his true feelings towards her, but she loves you, she should dump the friend.
If the friend was just saying he didn't approve of your behaviour about so... (read in full...)
The nights are so long without her and I miss her--should I get back together with her?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been looking for a site like yours for a while now... I need advice with regards to my cheating wife. I found out back in February that my wife had been cheating on me, with two different people and at different times......
A. 18 November 2006: Wow, that is alot of pain to digest. It's clear your wife has issues. I'm thinking you might too. I don't htink it's good if you still feel the need to be wanted or desired by her. Her standards are so low that you should realize that you ... (read in full...)
We split up 16 weeks ago and I am struggling. Any good advice to helping myself is appreciated!
Q. Hello, its 16 weeks since my husband of 7 years and I split up, I wasnt expecting it and have really struggled although my friends and family have been very supportive. I havent cried now for 2 weeks, even though he is on my mind constantly and I ...
A. 18 November 2006:
You have to totally accept the fact, it's over. I agree, the salsa class is great. (my wife is latin american, I need some lessons too :) ) Anyway, they say it takes a complete year of holidays, special events, birthdays etc to move on. You ... (read in full...)
We're both in bad marriages and cheating on our spouses, but I'm not sure of his true feelings...
Q. I am married and also in a relationship with a married man. Our spouses are very much alike, so we can relate to each other. We are both in bad marriages, but do not want to punish our children by divorce. This has been going on over 2 years. I am ...
A. 17 November 2006: You're convincing yourself that by cheating and sneaking around, you're protecting your kids. That is untrue. What you're doing is creating a situation that is going to blow up one day and you'll look bad. It's too bad you're not directing all ... (read in full...)
Can I persuade him to leave his wife for me?
Q. I am dating a married man who I started as a friendship and now I am in love with him, and he says he is in love with me. I'm at the point that, yes I want him to leave his wife and be with me, but how do I accomplish this? I do believe him that he ...
A. 16 November 2006: It's great you're open minded. Leave him alone. You're way off base. His wife loves him more than you do and he is MARRIED to her. Are you morally bankrupt?... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for asking what my girlfriend will be doing?
Q. Hello. Here's the story, My girlfriend told me that she wouldn't be seeing my the next night after I get off from work. I asked her why and she said she'd be busy. I merely asked what she was going to be doing and she gets mad and tells me that it ...
A. 15 November 2006: It all depends how you asked and if it's been a problem in the past, I mean possesiveness or jealousy. IF it hasn't, you have every right to kow more or less where she might be going. Unless there is some underlying issue, she shouldn't mind ... (read in full...)
I want to get over my affair but it's so difficult! Please help me.
Q. Hi all, Firstly, both of us are married, and I have been having an affair. I loved all the attention I was getting and about 1 month ago he broke off with me. It tore me apart intially, but now I am more stable. For the past two weeks, I have be...
A. 15 November 2006: I agree. I'm not sure if I'd want to build a relationship with a woman who cheats on her husband. You should beware of him too. Obviously, when things get tough, he cheats. So do you.... (read in full...)
Why the heck are so many people cheating all the time?!
Q. Why do people cheat all the time now? All of the sudden Dear Cupid is flooded with I cheated, or I want to cheat, or affairs from all people, men and women. I used to believe that only guys cheated, but then came across here. What's up with ...
A. 15 November 2006: People cheat because they're short sighted and only think of themselves. It's one of hte worst things you could do to a loved one I believe. It shatters trust and crushes peoples souls.
Probably the shallowest reason would be for exciteme... (read in full...)
After 30 years of marriage, she has decided fellatio is revolting! Advice?
Q. My wife and I have been happily married for more than 30 years. During that time, we've enjoyed a pretty active sex life. Oral sex, particularly mutual oral sex, had always been a part of that. I've only ejaculated in her mouth once, many years ago. ...
A. 15 November 2006: Wow, this is the longest question I've ever seen. It's so long I almost can't believe it's true but it also seems to be blunt and honest.
It sounds like your wife is going through some type of mini crisis. I would suggest you get some help fro... (read in full...)
I like this guy at work! Should I ask him out via e-mail?
Q. Hello everyone!, I really like/fancy this guy at work, and I'm not sure if he feels the same way... We sometimes chat when we see each other on breaks etc and on e-mail, and get on really well. I have just found out he is single, what should I do ...
A. 14 November 2006: I'd like to be the first to congratulate you for having good morals. You said, " I have just found out he's single" Many people don't even worry about the others marital status. Go for it !! I hope it works out for you.... (read in full...)
Will I lose him if I'm honest about my wild past.
Q. i have a loving bf everything is fine we are planning to get married soon but the problem is i had a wild past and i havent told him abt it,he knows it but not everything, should i be entirely honest wth him?i do regret i was like this be4 i cant ...
A. 14 November 2006:
I agree. As much as we hope are lovers are decent, the fact that you're concerned about his reaction is proof you realize your mistakes. If he's not asking and you're not lieing, don't give specifics. This could come back to haunt you in the ... (read in full...)
In a fading marriage and fallen for another guy... These feelings are killing me!
Q. Dear Cupid I have been with my husband now for 10 years although we did not get married until recently, but lately our marriage has been going through a rocky patch and we argue about everything! When we me i wasnt really interested in him but he g...
A. 14 November 2006:
Well, think about this. All those feelings you have for him, so does his wife, and she's married to him. She's entitled to feel that way. You're in a troubled marriage and have decided to put a little trouble in his marriage by taking a step... (read in full...)
We're in bad marriages and are having an affair. But I just don't know if he wants to spend time with me?!
Q. I am married and also in a relationship with a married man. Our spouses are very much alike, so we can relate to each other. We are both in bad marriages, but do not want to punish our children by divorce. This has been going on over 2 years. I ...
A. 14 November 2006:
If you didn't want to hurt any children, you woundn't do what you're doing. Sooner or later the truth will come and guess what? You'll hurt the children.... (read in full...)
Standing by your man... Love or stupidity?
Q. How do you know when standing by your man is love or stupidity?...
A. 14 November 2006: We need more information. In general, it depends on your level of forgivenss and what he did?... (read in full...)
Why does he constantly accuse me of cheating? Is he insanely insecure?
Q. My bf often accuses me of cheating, no matter how many times I tell him im not. And for the record, Im not! He accuses me atleast once a week, though he's been at it alot the past couple days. People keep tellin me that he sounds like he's the one ...
A. 13 November 2006:
This is a situation you have to deal with quickly. You brought up the fact he's Mexican. People can't be painted with the same brush but there are some cultural traits that are more common in dome cultures than others. I'm married to a hisp... (read in full...)
My ex cheats on his girlfriends with me, what's going on?
Q. I dated a guy when I was younger for about two years and we eventually became engaged. A lot happened and we broke up, but I've still been sleeping with him for 3 years after that. He's had several girlfriends during this time, and cheated on all of ...
A. 13 November 2006:
Rythemand2lues is correct. I think what your're doing is wrong morally but her technique for getting him is sound advice. He'll have to make a choice. Be careful what you wish for though. If you win he might be "the booby prize" who chea... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend has got a lot of new friends and is having fun... How do I deal with this and stop being needy?
Q. Please, please somebody help me - it would be great to get a psychologists view on this, I know there are some of you out there!! I have been having a two year long distance relationship where we see each other every two weeks or so. Recently, he...
A. 13 November 2006: This is a difficult one. There is really only one way to do it and that is to actually stop being needy. I know, it's easier said than done. You'd probably be better of spending some time talking to a real therapist to find out what makes you ... (read in full...)
I've developed a deep infatuation for this woman from work and I want more! What should I do?
Q. Hi there, im in abit of a dilemma, i am crazy about this girl i work with in th office. I am 31 years old, and she is 20. The last couple of months there has been some major flirting going on between us which has been great, sharing long glan...
A. 13 November 2006: If you're both single, go for it. What is the problem?... (read in full...)
I suffer from premature ejaculation! How do I satisfy my wife with this problem?
Q. 2 years into marriage, but in this two years i can not satisfy my wife. what can i do now? help me when i have sex with my wife i discharge within 2 minutes. pls, help me...
A. 13 November 2006: I'm not sure what is considered normal. It varies form couple to couple. Don't think it's like you see in the movies though. Most guys don't last that long and I think most women are glad they don't. Correct me if I'm wrong ladies but that's my ... (read in full...)
I have strong feelings for my female friend. How do I go about finding out how she really feels?
Q. I am a 45 year old single female who has a 52 year old married female friend. We have known each other for a year and have become very good friends. I am very, very sure she knows that I care for her in a way that would be more than just a ...
A. 13 November 2006: Be very careful. She might just be venting. Also you're reading her messages through the eyes of someone who is hoping for more. In other words, you'll grasp at any tidbit of encouragement she offers you or see things that are not actually there. ... (read in full...)
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