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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi my husband of 11 years has just informed me he is having an affair with a woman where he works, he works out of the country and has done for the last 2 and half years, he is away for 6 weeks at a time and only home for 2 weeks. I think the affair started because he got attention off this other woman, whereas he didn't off me. My question is do you think I have a chance of winning him back and if so how? I love him very much, he is very gullible and easily lead, i think peer pressure has got to him as the men he works with are all at it out there, and the country he is in is known for the easy women ( abit like thailand).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2006): so he cheated and is having an affair. first thank him for telling you the truth, second, do you love him enough to work out your marriage ?, third, are you willing to take him back and is he willing to STOP having an affair. if YES then comes TRUST. you have to trust him. on the other hand can you trust him ? fourth, i suggest you STOP blaming him, STOP blaming yourself, STOP blaming his friends n coworkers, STOP blaming other women. understand that everyone is responsible for his/her action. he is responsible for his action. good luck
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (23 October 2006):
 Do you really want him back after knowing he so easily cheated on you? infact more than cheated on you once he is actually having an affair!!
If you want to win him back try thinking about the things that got him hooked in the beginning of your relationship, you need to give him your attention and show him how important he is to you.
The only worrying thought is.. if you do win him back how long before he is easily led again??
Good luck :o)
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A
female
reader, miss help +, writes (22 October 2006):
 phone him ask him if he wants you. You might win him back if you lived over there but things might change and he might quite and come back to you but take my avice
Miss help
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Well, taking him back is very big of you. First you have to really explore what happened in your relationship. While lack of attention from you could certainly help push him along that path, why did you ignore him in the first place? Did he discuss his feelings with you in the past? Did you respond to his needs? Were there other issues?
I think this is very common, although not all people act on the neglect from their partner. Each couples definition of neglect is also different. Your husband could be insecure and needy. Maybe he needed too much attention from you and you were tired of trying to please him. Frequently when people are too needy, the spouse begins to see that as a weak point and it clouds the relationship.
I have also lived in a country where this is common. My wife was with me the entire time but the pressure from my coworkers and the amount of attention I got from the local women was at times almost too much to take. It was something I had never experienced before and if I had been a little weaker, it might have been a disaster to my marriage. It was the strangest experience I ever had. You see, I was insecure and the attention made me feel special.
You sound aas though you're feeling a little guilty for having not paid enough attention to your husband. That ocould be true. Again I say, if you're willing to have him back, you have to find out WHY this happened. You might carry some of the responsability for the stat of your marriage but ultimately, he took the final step to cheating.
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