A
male
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anonymous
writes:A friend of mine has been married to his wife now for 13 years and last month I found out she had a nervous breakdown. I've been seeing my gf for 5 years now so how do I make sure that the women I love (i'm proposing to her on her birthday next month) doesn't have the same problem?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): what a strange question...
that's totally illogical and the most flawed thinking i've ever heard. weird.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): Is there something wrong with you? are you sure?. How can your girlfriend be certain?. That is what you are asking, of her.Would you expect her to stand by you if you were ill, when you are together.
Anyway it dosnt only happen to women you know. Sometimes things get to much to bare and you can go a little nuts. Its happened to my brother and my mum, and I get scared it will happen to me. But my dad says im mad anyway, so no one would notice. I try to have humour about these things. When I look back, it was very sad, but with love you can get through all sorts of problems. So stop worrying, until anything happens, which it most likely wont.
Best wishes for your future to-gether
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):
Women go nuts. It happens. You may not like it, it may not be PC, but there it is.
Go flip through a Cosmo and still if you dont come away staggered. Women put that kind of shit into there heads for 20 years! Imagine if you were bombarded with the illogic of women's media since the time you were a kid.
And now post-feminism a women are expect to do everything. At least in the 50's a housewife could say to herself " well I have chosen a different path than these glamorous actress, they have their career, but no husband and family like me". Now promient women are in there face about how they have everything. Madonna is a slut, and a singer, and actress, and spiritual, and a mother, and in shape, and a business women. And she has time to adopt. And write childrens books for your kids. And have a monologue with her vagina. And a woman has to feel bad that she cant have her picture big and pregnant on a magazine like Demi and look hot, or bounce back after a baby in 4 weeks and go for a fashion shoot, or be the room mom like Katie Couric. And isnt she a bad person if she cant give head like Sara Jessica Parker.
And on top of that women as vicious to each other. Is an man going to worry about being judged on his shoes after he leaves the room?
To sum up- women are in an illogical, judgemental environment with high expectations that values over emotionalism. So they go nuts sometimes.
To avoid this (too late for you if you are proposing ;-) look for a women who is:
- inherently optomistic and see how things could work out rather than mulling over ever way something could go wrong.
- in discussing problems looks for the actions to take rather than just discussion for discussions sake
- is not tooo into womens media. A steady diet of Oprah, Desperate Housewives and Jerry Spring will rot the brain.
So there is my advice. Not the most PC, but I dont see how sugarcoating thing will help you.
BTW, its not really the end of the world if the girl is a little nutty.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): As there are no guarantees in life, you cannot entirely eliminate the possibility of it happening. My wife ran into difficulty when I (after 26 years teaching at the same school) was forced out of my job because the school administration had NEVER in my 26 years of employment ONCE paid me the correct salary according to the Master Contract. Then it (a variety of rumors and lies) spilled over to her school district, and for four years my wife was insulted, humiliated, and abused in a variety of ways. Guess what? She suffered a nervous breakdown. Despite NO JUSTICE from the state legal system and no help from any attorney I hired (I have written proof that the school district knew of the UNDER and OVER payments from day one of my employment ..as well as the school superintendent's effort to cover up fraud), we are getting through it. It has ruined us financially (as well as not doing our name any good). Naturally, there is very much more to what we've endured. She had the breakdown, but I did not. Why? Perhaps because I could not afford to have one too. So, there are no guarantees (how do you know that you won't be the one to suffer a breakdown).
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (9 November 2006):
 hello there,
i dont see why u should be worried bcos a nervous breakdown happens only when a person is under excessive stress in their lives and we all know this can be caused by work, family or anything that is making a person to perform under a lot of pressure and the nerves becomes very exhausted to function normally. what u can do is to make sure that u do dont give her problems and make sure she doesnt do anything that pushes her stress level into the limit, she must also avoid stress at work, home, etc if u see her destressed help her relax. i think those are basic precautions u can take. there are also medical technicalities that can cause a nervous breakdown find out about that so that u are well informed about it. hope this helps
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (9 November 2006):
 Well if she isn't suffering from some type of trauma or going through any type of crisis, she won't have a nervous break down. It's not like catching the flu. It's a mental problem based on issues, events and problems in a persons life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): They are two different people are they not, so why would you assume that of your partner? Take one day at a time and good luck to your propasal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): Not everyone is the same. Is she prone to depression? What kind of person is she? I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Why should she be the same as your friend's wife. It isn't contagious. Enjoy your lives together and Best Wishes with the future engagement. Take care.x
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