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female
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anonymous
writes: porning husband or true gentleman??I have been married 10yrs. My husband reads porn and ogles other women when we are out. Even though I have told him it hurts me he has toned it down but seems to have trouble stopping. I also have a male friend. This is someone I have known for around the same amount of time as my husband. They are very different men. My friend is not interested in porn. He feels its degrading and pathetic. He also never ogles other women when we are out. He has recently expressed to me that he has feelings for me and has never acted on them due to my marriage. To be honest I have always felt that all men behave like my husband so why bother leaving in the hope of greenr pastures. But now I see there really are men out there who respect women and one of them is interested in me. Should I leave what do you think.?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006):
Wait- you are leaving your husband for a gay guy?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006): hmm i have to agree with Eddie, both of you are in the wrong.. if you two are already married, there shouldnt be these kind of problems anyway. you already took the vows, you know you shouldnt eye another man. divorcing and remarrying is not as simple as you think, its much more than that.
if you truly, love your husband, take it for what he is and respect that.
as for your other friend, i have no idea why he told you he has feelings for you even though you are married, not one male does that unless he truly wants you to be his in reality, or virtual.
think about it slowly, dont make any decisions yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): If you can't give your husband and marriage a 100% then leave.
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, but just remember you will have a bump in the road with the other guy as well. Will you try to work it out when you hit that bump or look for another guy jut like this time.?
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 It sounds like your husband doesn't stand a chance because you're already interested in the other guy. I'm not justifying his behaviour but there might be more to it. Does he have any good qualities. How much porn does he look at? How often does he look at other women.
The grass is looking greener on the other side at the moment. You're heading down a dangerous path. IF this other guy respects your marriage, why did he tell you he had feelings for you? That is also part of the reason he's so angelic around you. I'd bet you're spending time with him, complaining about your husband and telling him personal information. Like a poker player, he takes that information and tells you what you want to hear. Some of what he says might also be true, but in reality, you're seeing him through rose coloured glasses.
You've known for a long time that this other guy liked you. You also knew you were tired of your husbands bad habits. Instead of solving the problem, you've been getting the attention you need from another man. If you think the other guy doens't notice women, you're wrong. He might hide it better, but, he notices. Of course he wouldn't do it in front of you, he's trying to make a good impression. Also, what is your definition of ogling? IS it merely noticing, staring, lingering looks or merely the fact that he sees another woman. If your friend views porn, he certainly wouldn't tell you because he knows you hate it. How does he know, because you've probably told him too much personal information about your husband while spending time with a guy you knew interested you.
If you love your husband, work on it. It sounds to me though like you're looking for excuses. Try to talk to him again, tell him you're considering leaving. Some amount of what you complained about could be normal. Do you have any insecuities about yourself? Do you think it's wrong for a married person to notice people of the opposite sex....... Before you answer, remember this, you're husband notices other women and looks. You notice other men too but you actually spend private time with the other guy. Who's more wrong here?
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