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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I think he may be meeting w/ another girl for lunch! But is it just me being paranoid?
Q. my b/f of a year and a half usually doesnt call me in the mornings from work..Its always for the most part anyway been in the afternoon. (like 12-3) It seems like he has been calling me a little earlier..one time it was 9:30 am..and then whe...
A. 9 December 2006: Well, keep an eye on him and if it relly bothers you...ask him. IF you don't trust him,your relatiosnhip is going nowhere.... (read in full...)
I am a man and I'm deeply concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship! Am I an addict?
Q. Hi, I'm concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship. Over the last few years I have got into a habit of browsing internet porn, 3 or 4 hours a week. I had previously thought this to be harmless, but it seems to be devaluing sex wit...
A. 9 December 2006:
Anonymous....It sounds like you have an axe to grind. How can you take such a broad stroke with the brush and say "90% of men are such sexually perverted creatures". I could do the dame thing and say perhaps men wouldn't be so frustrated if "90%... (read in full...)
I am a man and I'm deeply concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship! Am I an addict?
Q. Hi, I'm concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship. Over the last few years I have got into a habit of browsing internet porn, 3 or 4 hours a week. I had previously thought this to be harmless, but it seems to be devaluing sex wit...
A. 9 December 2006: I'm not sure if I'm correct about this but I imagine many men view porn out of boredom. Perhaps if sex was a little more exciting at home, they might not feel tempted. This is where I'll probably get shot down....let me put on my ... (read in full...)
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have sex with my good gal mate...is this normal?
Q. can a guy and a lass really just be mates?? im really good mates with this girl but i sometmes wonder what it woud be like to sleep with her. is this normal??...
A. 8 December 2006:
I think it's normal to have it cross your mind. I think it's much more common for men than women but in both cases it's a variation of "normal". Don't forget though, these are thoughts, and yours to enjoy. That doesn't mean she feels the same... (read in full...)
I think he may be meeting w/ another girl for lunch! But is it just me being paranoid?
Q. my b/f of a year and a half usually doesnt call me in the mornings from work..Its always for the most part anyway been in the afternoon. (like 12-3) It seems like he has been calling me a little earlier..one time it was 9:30 am..and then whe...
A. 8 December 2006: Based on what you said, yes, you jumped to the worst case scenario. Did yo ask who he was talking to? ... (read in full...)
Does thinking too much leave you paranoid ? How do I stop this over thinking all the time?
Q. dear cupid I am in my teens and am 16 years old and i seem to be worrying and thinking about things every single day and i dnt know how to stop, i sometimes cry with because of thinking to much, my main concern now is "does thinking too muc...
A. 8 December 2006: You should talk to someone who is qualified to help you. You will need togo into detail with a therapist to discover what's going on. There is help for you.... (read in full...)
I can't stop getting so angry about stuff! How can I control myself?
Q. I'm not sure how to deal with myself and keep my emotions and anger controlled. I have been getting upset lately, but I would like to talk it out instead of yelling and getting laughed at. Well I don't usually yell, but I do speak very meanly. ...
A. 8 December 2006: It sounds like you might need more counselling and maybe you drink too much. Get some help.... (read in full...)
He's overly friendly to women and loses his temper when I confront him about it! How do I handle this?
Q. Help! I think my b/f has explosive anger disorder! He's normally pretty laid back and sweet most of the time, but sometimes when I try to talk about something that bothers me in our relationship, he flies into a rage that seems out of control. ...
A. 8 December 2006: Well, I understand your fears. What you haven't told us though is this, what are his actions towards the other women and how do you kow they feel as if he's coming on to them? How does her flirt? If your're with him and he's overly nice to a ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him when he makes me feel worthless? He just lies and denies!
Q. I'm mid 30's and moved away from my boyfriend in june atfer a crazy uncommitted relationship from him. I'm single mum 2 kids. He tracked me down with undying love in august, promised me the world to be with me. came 250miles to see me at wkends ...
A. 8 December 2006: All the rd flags are up. You've said so yourself. What are you still involved with him for?... (read in full...)
My bf went to a ball w/ her, shared a bed w/ her, and said they have 'chemistry.' I'm so hurt!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 18months now. after 2 months i was introduced to a girl at a party (a friend of his) during the night i got the impression she fancied my boyfriend, but let it go. at christmas he went to a ball with her as she had ...
A. 8 December 2006:
First of all, trust is one thing, but sharing a bed with a woman were there is "chemistry is WRONG. It's outside of what would be considered good judgement. I'm sure he wouldn't be thrilled with you doing the same thing.
Could he be attracted... (read in full...)
He lied to me, He was married with 3 kids all along!!... Im hurting and empty and feel I will never find the right guy!!!
Q. hello. i just broke it off with my bf. we were dating for quite sometime now and few days ago i found out he is married with three children and all the things he told me about himself were all lies at least his name was real, when i asked him he d...
A. 8 December 2006: This guy was a jerk. Be happy you found out now. Move on !! It could have been worse. IT doesn't feel that way now but time will heal this wound.... (read in full...)
He is going to dinner with his ex's family... am I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a month and a half. He has been broken up from his girlfriend of 4 years for 2 months. She and her parents still want them to be together and have invited him to dinner this weekend at their house and he is ...
A. 8 December 2006:
It's wrong, based on your comments that she and the parents still want them to be together. In my eyes, that takes away the possibility of an innocent dinner. They could have a plan. I firmly believe that when the enemy, for lack of a bett... (read in full...)
My long-distance BF is jealous of my male friend who lives close to me!
Q. first off I'm 17, and he's 22. I have a boyfriend from another country, and of course long distance relationships tend to be hard. but then again. he says he loves me and i say i love him. but i met up with a friend today. who i used to fanc...
A. 8 December 2006: I'd like to add one thing. I think you're being naive. This is why your boyfriend is concerned. You state that the other guy and yourself are "just good friends". What kind of "good friend" would disrespect your relationship with your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
My long-distance BF is jealous of my male friend who lives close to me!
Q. first off I'm 17, and he's 22. I have a boyfriend from another country, and of course long distance relationships tend to be hard. but then again. he says he loves me and i say i love him. but i met up with a friend today. who i used to fanc...
A. 7 December 2006:
This is eddie again. You said in your post you were talking on the phone with a guy about the fact there were/are feelings between the two of you. THAT is an odd topic for someone to be having if they're in a relationship with someone else. How ... (read in full...)
I would never have an affair but this online guy I like is married! Should I stop talking to him?
Q. Hi, im in a really weird situation right now. Im 22 and i've had 2 failed relationships, i just ended the last one about a year ago. Just about 2 weeks ago i met this guy online and we begin chatting, he's married and he's also 36 years old. He told ...
A. 7 December 2006:
You're 22 and say you've had two failed relationships. Now you're headed for a third. Stand back and be realistic. You're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong and while you claim to be above an affair, you're leaving the door open to the ... (read in full...)
Having affair with a guy who I can never be with... He's in a loveless marriage - and he's a liar.
Q. Peter and I met 10 years ago. We had a strong connection but never dated. We lost contact for 10 years. Two years ago we met and fell in love. We are passionate and enjoy each others company. Here is the problem: We cannot be together because ...
A. 7 December 2006:
Do you think you're a martyre for staying with him ? And really, you don't give a flip about the kids. If you did, you wouldn't break up the family. Who on earth are you to say he's in a loveless marriage? You didn't even know his wife's name... (read in full...)
My long-distance BF is jealous of my male friend who lives close to me!
Q. first off I'm 17, and he's 22. I have a boyfriend from another country, and of course long distance relationships tend to be hard. but then again. he says he loves me and i say i love him. but i met up with a friend today. who i used to fanc...
A. 7 December 2006:
I think your boyfriend has every reason to be jealous. For the previous Aunt to say men are more jealous is wrong. You say yourself, that you were talking to this other guy on the phone today. You were talking abou the fact that you "fancy each... (read in full...)
We are both married but cheating but I can't stand he is cheating on me with yet another woman!
Q. I am married for 18 years, my husband is a cruel man. He hits me. There is nothing but kids between us. I fell in love with my cousin's husband. He is married and has had lots of affairs. I loved him so much and I got very jealous when he spoke to a ...
A. 7 December 2006:
Your husband hits you, he's a jerk. The guy you cheat with is a jerk and you're getting just what you want, another cheater. You've brought yourself down to that level. What makes it worse is it's your cousins husband. None of you have any ... (read in full...)
He never initiates sex... is he getting all the satisfaction he needs from porn?
Q. Is it possible your boyfriend could be fully satisfied with just looking at nude pics or porn? and not have the need to be very intimate with you? Thats the way i feel about my boyfriend right now. He thinks that, that is all i want in the ...
A. 7 December 2006:
I think you'r overreacting. This question is usually the other way around. Funny, when it's the woman who doesn't want sex, we're told, as men, we have to do this, that and the other thing to fix it. We're told relationships are not just abou... (read in full...)
My mum is coming with me to a health check... will the gynaecologist know I am lying?
Q. Hi everyone! I have to have a complete health check-up when I go home, and my mum's probably going to go with me (even though I'm over 20!!). The thing is that I can't tell my parents that I am sexually active, so I'll have to tell the gynaecol...
A. 7 December 2006:
Don't let her go in the doctor's office with you. I can tell you're having a hard timing cutting the cord from your mom. If that weren't true, you'd never even have mentioned yo're going to the doctor. If you continue to give her the impr... (read in full...)
I want to know about her previous sexual encounters, she says it doesnt matter, should I let it lie ?
Q. My Girlfriend when she was 16 she cheated on her boyfriend with someone she knew for a whilie now she's 20 with me i wanna know what she did. she told me she jerked him off While he fingered her (which she told me she never liked anyone doing) sh...
A. 7 December 2006:
Why do you want to measure yourself against all these other people. More specifically why the hell do you care about how many minutes she jerked some guy off for? Think about how crazy that sounds...."Ok, I'll accept you jerked him off...how many... (read in full...)
I was invited for dinner then left to pay, I feel used by this!!!
Q. I feel used... Heres my story: I was really busy one night, with a big presentation the next morning and exams just around the corner. My time was needed to study. Every second of it that is. Despite all this, my gf calls me and asks me to co...
A. 6 December 2006: This has happened to me on many occasions. I have a sister-in-law who does this all the time. It has also caused tension between my wife and I. My sister in law will come over on a Friday with her two kids, and stay until Sunday. She's always ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that my bf might cheat on me while away at school!
Q. Sometimes i'm worried that my boyfriend might have cheated on me because I can't see him as much as I would like to, which it means that we don't have enough sex. I see him about twice a week and when we're together he's VERY horny. Sometimes I ...
A. 6 December 2006: You can try to convince yourself of all the things you mentioned in your letter. They might be valid points that could swing the chances of him cheating one way or another. But in the end, none of means anything. People cheat with others they ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend verbally and emotionally abuses me and says it's my own fault. Is he right?
Q. i met my boyfriend last year on a dating site.he seemed great realy outgoing and fun,before i met him i wrote some to other guys and sent a 2 of them naked pics of myself but felt bad about it so didnt want to do it again.my boyfriend then asked me ...
A. 6 December 2006: Run from this guy. Keep your daughter away too!! IF you can already see the cracks in his cover, trust your instinct. You have reason to be unsure of him. He's already broken into your email, yells and accuses you of things, judges you for ... (read in full...)
We were at his family's house for Thanksgiving and he accused me of flirting w/ his cousin - Now he is ignoring me!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 years,we were really close ....or at least I thought we were. Thanksgiving day, we were at his family's house.....and out no where he accuses me of flirting with his cousin, now all of a sudden, he will not call ...
A. 6 December 2006:
Don't chase him, you'll only reinforce his ideas. On the other hand, did you do anyhting that would lead him to think that way? Have you made your gut feel like your significant other? That is important. ... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't feel rejected when he goes out with his friends - what can I do about this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 10months, living together for 6months, and when we are together everything is fine. However I am very possessive and every time he tries to go and see his friends I feel rejected, like he is abandoning me. So I sulk ...
A. 6 December 2006: You should really try to get a grip on this before he leaves and doesn't come back. Why should he only spend time with you? The good news is you realize the problem is yours. Try to find your own hobbies to do while he's out. Try to find out why ... (read in full...)
My man is very into "Watersports" How common is this ???
Q. My boyfriend an i have a good relatioship and like to experiment, he recently confessed that he really wanted to give me a golden shower so i let him in the shower, i didnt mind it too much but wasnt great. He now bought porn with girls getti...
A. 6 December 2006: I think it's on the extreme edge of the "scope" of normal. I'd bet 99% of people manage to get through life without peeing on somebody. ... (read in full...)
Can a guy be with a girl long-term and not cheat on her?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to be with a girl for 3 years and 4 months and not cheat on her??? ...
A. 6 December 2006: Anything after 3 years and 119 days is questionable. Before that though, he probably won't cheat, unless it's at poker or scrabble. ... (read in full...)
My coworker and I are going out and I want to ask her to give me a blowjob!
Q. Hi, I am going out with one of my coworkers soon. Nothing serious, just for fun. I do not want a relationship with her, but I would like her to give me a blowjob. How do I get her to do that? We get along very well. Any tips are welcome. Thank y...
A. 5 December 2006:
Start off by changing your personality !!... (read in full...)
I got a promotion, he got laid off, I said I would support us for a while but I'm fed up!
Q. I'm in a real dilemma. I have recently been promoted and am now earning a decent salary. My partner has just been laid off, but is starting his own business. Trouble is, I'm supporting us both financially which leaves me with no energy and no money ...
A. 5 December 2006:
Well, it's all about you. Are you a couple or not? Do you have a mutual plan for the future? Do you see yourselves sitting together in rocking chairs when you're 80? Why is he in no hurry to earn money? Is he being realistic? Are you bein... (read in full...)
Does the pain of jealousy due to insecurity ever end?
Q. I've lived with the same woman (my first) faithfully for the last 10 years. since i was 17. i met someone else while i was out of town and attempted to cheat on her. the new girl teased to death but had a conscience blast at the last second and ...
A. 5 December 2006: I totally agree with Yos and his reply. You don't really have the right to know all about her past. I imagine she's sugar coated a few details to stop you from getting angry. In her mind, she shouldn't have to devulge information that plays no ... (read in full...)
Is cyber sex, online with different men considered cheating on my husband?
Q. is it cheating if you are going onto chat sites and chat to guys and talk to them in a sexual way. Sex with my husband is non existent and i feel its the only way i can get rid of my frustration. Yes i have tried to approach my husband to do ...
A. 5 December 2006: YES it's cheating. You're not dealing with the problem at home, you're making another one.
If you want to get out of the habit, try this. Picture yourself sitting at the computer, talking to a man about is penis and your vagina. That, after all,... (read in full...)
Why dont men get erections when they are ballroom dancing
Q. hi i went to see this show where 2 people are doing ball room dances and all sorts of dances. there was a thing at the end where men could go up and dance with the lady dancers. i am wondering y the men dont get erections when they are dancing thos...
A. 4 December 2006: Because when they're dancing, all their blood is in thier feet.....Is this a serious question?... (read in full...)
I've not been intimate with my boyfriend for over a year... So should I leave him for this new guy?
Q. Dear Aunts, I need a little advice on my situation, any comments I will greatly appreciate. I have been in a relationship with my bf for nearlly 2 years now, I live with him in his house and have done for over a year. I love this guy so much, he'...
A. 4 December 2006: Well the age gap is quite extreme although this is no reason for no sex. But let me understand something. IF you've been dating for two years, youwere 17 and he was 36. That's wrong and I question the integrity of ANY man who thinks he can relate ... (read in full...)
Sent gifts, cards to this woman I like but she still doesn't love me! What can I do?
Q. ther is a woman i have liked for the last 3 years i have don all that i can think of. i have sent her b-day gifts v-day gifts but she still dos not love me. what do i do?...
A. 3 December 2006: Was ther ever any sign from her that she was iterested in you? If not, it sounds like you're stalking her. You can't force somebody to desire you. It sounds like you should move on. Get some help if you can't let go, perhaps from a councellor. ... (read in full...)
She's engaged to another and I've fallen in love with her...help!
Q. I've fallen in love with an engaged woman who's about to wed in a little over a month! I need your HELP! I'm 25, she's 23 and she has a son that is 3 that she had with her future husband. She's told me that they were in love once when they were y...
A. 3 December 2006:
IF....and I repeat IF, everything you say is accurate, then tell her how you feel. I'm guessing by the questions she's asking you about love, she feels it too. BUT, be sure the information you're getting is ACCURATE !!... (read in full...)
Let go of the fling I had on my holiday..but need advice on how to get over him!
Q. i have now decided to let go of the fling i had on my hols but i'm finding it really hard to get over him can anyone give my any advice?...
A. 3 December 2006: If you want to get over the holiday fling, maybe you could get flung by somebody else....... (read in full...)
Bf went for a cup of coffee at a females house one night...should I be concerned and was this wrong of him?
Q. My boyfriend started a new job 2 months ago and had his first night out with them. They were in a pub for a while and when i rang him at midnight he said he had just left pub and was back at a colleagues house for a cup of coffee - the thing is ...
A. 2 December 2006: Well, everything depends on the integrity of the two people in question. I would not be happy about it. Does that mean I'm insecure? Probably a little. But, I believe that after the night of socializing with the group is over, why the need to ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to someone else and it's not my husband, what can I do?
Q. Hi, I am married but am really attracted to another guy. We are good friends - worked together, have since left my job, so at least the temptation is not so much there. I know for a fact if this person asked me out(I know he had feelings for me)i ...
A. 30 November 2006:
If you don't get a grip, you're doomed to cheat, just as the other person who responed to your letter did. It's hard to work on a marriage when you've already decided you'd like to taste the forbidden fruit. That is exactly what you did when... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone else - but should I just settle for my less physical marriage or move on?
Q. I'm a 25-year old christian guy that married his first girlfriend 2 years ago (after dating her for 3 years). Before I met her, I spent most of my time behind a computer, not meeting girls. Although I was not a christian when we started dating, I ...
A. 30 November 2006:
You state you're a christian. If that's true, the answer is easy. You married til death do you part. For better or worse etc.....Christianity, for those who really are, is not meant to be negotiated that easily. What have you done to impr... (read in full...)
I cheated, he forgave me, then believed a rumour we were having an affair so he dumped me! I want him back!
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend of 6 years 2 years ago and he found out, he got really angry but he said he would forgive me, stupidly i started talking to the guy i cheated with and we became friends, my boyfriend found out and we fought constantly about ...
A. 29 November 2006:
If you really felt bad about cheating, you would NEVER have struck up a friendship with the guy again. That makes no sense and is TOTALLY disrespectful to your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
I'm 36 and my wife just told me she loves me but isn't 'in love' with me!
Q. I am a 36 year old male with a 9 year old son. My wife has recently told me that she no longer finds me physicaly or mentaly attractive. She says that she loves me but is not in love with me? I am very hurt and confused and wondered what I can do to ...
A. 29 November 2006: Martini has many good points. I might add, this is probably the result of feelings she's been having for some time, and hoping they would pass. It's proabably not as much to do with you as she thinks either. I mean, I don't know you, but it ... (read in full...)
There is nothing wrong with him, other than I am a little bored
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now (we're both 20). For the past three months, we have spent literally 24/7 together. We have all classes together, are together even when not in class, sleep together every night, I don't even SHOWER ...
A. 28 November 2006:
Well the good news is you've figured out what the problem is. You're bored. No matter who you end up with, life at times, IS BORING. If you meet another guy, you will still have your challenges. Things become routine and mundane. Perhaps you'... (read in full...)
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