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She was with someone else in our "break". It keeps going over in my head. Whaty do I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2006)
A male Canada, anonymous writes:

My question is regarding my "cheating" girlfriend.

Ill try and make this long story as short as possible. Started relationship with girl about a year ago. After we hooked up we dated and "dealt" for a couple months. During these couple months she went out and partied, and was really flirty with one guy in particular. THis was while we were still dating but not officially going out. This happened for about 3 months.

I end up taking her virginity one night and shortly after i ask her to be "officaily going out." Things are okay. I would never describe any of this relationship as good. I never really talked to her at school or otherwise, mostly just on the weekends. Neither of us made any effort to have a good relationshp(i tihnk we were too shy). We were pretty much only sex buddies. However there was something there and there was some connection that kept us together. Two months we got into an aruguemt and she demanded a break. The break lasted three weeks, we had sex mabye one in each of those weeks. It was during this break I relized what i had lost and made huge efforts to get her back. She told me she wouldnt "do" anything but i was suspicous nonetheless. After three weeks she strangly starts calling me again and has basically bin with me everday for about 4 months. During these four months she confessed she now loves me and wants to spend life with me. The past few months have been great and I hav felt love towards her and have recieved love back.

One night though after a small arguement, she began crying hystrically. Long story short she confesses how she had sex with some guy during the break. She tells me it was once and she never talked to him again (this i know to be true after some snooping.)

Here is my dilemna, knowing what happened during our break constantly bothers me. It seems to always creep into my thoughts even a month after being told, I told her I would get over it and Id be fine. One side is positive, she is attached to me now, treats me better than I know most boyfriends get treated, is a great girlfriend now in everyway. I know I love her and am certain she loves me.

The other side is I feel wronged by what happened during the break. It continues to bother me. I feel like she isnt "mine" as much. I feel that she in some ways cheated on me. I now lack alot of trust for her that I feel she does deserve. It just keeps going over in my head.

What do I do?

View related questions: a break, cheated on me, flirt, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

to whoever said leave. What is your reasoning?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006):

That is ridiculous. Don't stay with her. You are going to get hurt.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):

Put this out of your head or it will split you two up. You are both very young and unfortunately these things do happen. She has been honest and told you all about it, she needn't of done this. Also you two were split up at the time. She cannot be blamed for this for the rest of her life. Put it behind you and enjoy life. Life is too short. Don't keep bringing it up and torturing her as well as yourself. Forget it. Take care and best wishes.

xx

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (9 November 2006):

eddie agony auntWhy don't you trust her, she told you about it. She didn't have to tell you because you were broken up at the time so it wasn't really your business. What you're feeling is jealousy.

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