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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I Checked up on her conversations with this other guy, Im now worried thats she gonna leave me!
Q. What Should I Do? Iv been with my girlfriend now for a year and a month, i love her to bits - she is amazin in everyway. However one or two problems have risen and in iv done some things im not proud of. To start with im 21 and shes 17, we ra...
A. 20 December 2006: OK, you read her stuff. You found the evidence. You're in this deep, break up with her. You saw what you feared, she's not telling the truth and she's messing around on you.
This is where I think snooping is OK. You saw the signs. Your sto... (read in full...)
Im very much in love with my first love, and we are planning marriage, just worried down the line I will regret not experimenting!!
Q. Hi, was just wondering what you all think of marrying your first real love? I began dating this man when I was 18, and I honestly didn't see it as a longterm thing. I wasn't planning on spending my life with him. We've been together 5 years no...
A. 20 December 2006: What you're feeling is normal. You said your feelings were influenced by others though. Who and why?
There is no answer to this question. It's a gamble. If you've got a fine man, you might lose him. When you realize you've made a mistke, ... (read in full...)
I want to get alot off my chest, hes going away for 3 weeks and it never seems to be the right time!
Q. Hi I have a problem that i need help with I am going out with my bf tonight and feel as tho i need to get some stuff off my chest with him as i keep mulling it over in my head and it never seems the right time to talk to him He is going awa...
A. 20 December 2006: Well I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to visit him. That would be fine under normal circumstances. What you need to figure out though is why you're so needy. Eventuall, when he realizes what's going on, he'll feel smothered. Do ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid theres something she's not telling me. Can I trust this girl anymore?
Q. My girlfreind works with about 400 male athletes and when shes on the road they all go out and party all the time. She has a good time and makes a lot of freinds, which doesn't threaten me, but every time she's on the road her normal habit of ...
A. 20 December 2006: Well, since you've already begun to question her motives, the seed has been planted. IT will grow, one way or another. You mentioned a sexy tank top. Does she usually wear this type of thing? If so, it's normal behaviour.
Her behaviou... (read in full...)
Friendship or my relationship, decision time!
Q. I am a mid thirties married man with one child. For the last two years I have been friends with a single woman i used to go to night class with a year back. She moved earlier this year to another city and I am totally perplexed as to why i feel ...
A. 18 December 2006:
First of all you need to be honest with yourself. The relationship IS going on behind your wife's back because it is NOT platonic. You want her. Your wife is trusting you and you're foolong her.
Loaning her the money was a big mistake. No... (read in full...)
Did he cheat with the welder?
Q. My man has a girl welder helper and they were going on a trip for work. I got back some pictures and her arm was around him in one and in the other his arm was around her. also, pictures of her in her bikini.I had a feeling that she and feelings for ...
A. 18 December 2006:
If he doesn't tell you, you'll never know. I've misread pictures before also. The only reason the picture bothers you is because it's her. It's perfectly natural to get in close for a group type picture. As for the picture of her in her biki... (read in full...)
How do I fend this married guy off, in a polite way?
Q. Hi, I am a very conservative person and do not believe in relationships that cross limits before marriage....waiting for Mr right. Problem is recently an ex collague, who is a friend has been hitting on me. He is married so I refuse to acknowledge ...
A. 18 December 2006: I'd like to know how the kiss happened and how long it lasted. In other words, how did you go from converstaion to a passionate kiss? Did you push him away? Were you taken by surprise? Did he hold you there? What were the circumstances. It ... (read in full...)
I have a bf/co-worker but I want to have sex with our new good looking boss! What should I do?
Q. I've been secretly going out with my bf/coworker for more than 2 yrs and everything was fine until I met our new boss. Whom I find extremely attractive. He is in a relationship as well but he doesnt actually live here. He wants me just as much as ...
A. 18 December 2006: You should try to figure out why you only care about yourself and why you're so willing to hurt the guy who treats you like a queen. You might figure out why you're so willing to be underhanded, sneaky and devious. None of those attributes are very ... (read in full...)
My bf refused to pay for my food. Should I dump him?
Q. I ordered a piee of pizza last night and the guy behind the counter looked at my boyfriend and said "it's ready". I looked at him and he looked at me and said, "What... aren't you going to pay?" I felt instantly insulted that he didn't offer to buy ...
A. 18 December 2006: You're wondering if he's cheap? Let me see, you're hungry, you order food, to fill your stomach. You assume you're entitled to his money to buy YOUR food. OK, I get it now. You wanted something, but, you wanted someone else to pay for it. In ... (read in full...)
I need to know if she cheated in order to move on!
Q. Last Saturday my girlfriend went out all night and she didn't come home she told me she went 1 of her female's houses for a drink and decided to stay over night. when i phoned her to question y she was staying i heard a lad say " put the phone down ...
A. 17 December 2006: If you're over her, you're over her. She owes you nothing more. If people are telling you she was with this guy, she might have been. Do these other people have any reason to lie to you? Would they benefit from making this up? If not, why would ... (read in full...)
I confronted my wife about the affairs I found out about and she claims they're over - the last email was 4 days ago!
Q. My wife and I have been married 23 years. We have two daughters, one in college and one in third grade. I love her deeply, passionately, and openly. She is always saying how lucky she is to have me. I pay attention to her, I notice new clothes, ...
A. 17 December 2006: I can understand the physical rush she got. The difficult part for you will be accepting that she got that rush from another man. It really says more about her than you. This will probably hurt your pride. That is understandable. The thing you ... (read in full...)
My husband said he loves me even though I've got a small chest - then he compared my chest to my cousin's! That really hurt my feelings!
Q. Ever since I can remember I've wanted bigger size breasts (I'm a small 34B). I know that my husband has a thing for women with large breasts, though (like most guys). Then tonight he says to me "I love you more than I would even love anyone with ...
A. 16 December 2006: Your husband said he loves "you". He might really have a thing for big boobs too. But, he married you so who cares? What does that tell you? He chose you over boobs. I find certain ethnic women very attractive, that won't change. So what? I ... (read in full...)
My bf's brother is living w/ us and it's ruining our relationship! I think I'm now falling for my ex again!
Q. I live with my Boyfriend and his brother in a two bedroom apartment. Now i love my boyfriend alot but i am starting to hate living with his brother he's useless as fuck. and I find i am doing everything around the apartment, i told my boyfriend that ...
A. 16 December 2006: Your desire to live with alone with your botfriend is understandable. How old are you? What were the living arrangements before you came along? While the living situation might not be exacatly what you'd like, you're creating the another problem ... (read in full...)
If a guy didnt want to kiss his ex he wouldnt have right?
Q. If a guy didnt want to kiss his ex he wouldnt have right? ...
A. 16 December 2006: Please try to give more detail when asking a question. Nobody could possible give you an answer based on this information as it would be a total blind guess.... (read in full...)
I confronted my wife about the affairs I found out about and she claims they're over - the last email was 4 days ago!
Q. My wife and I have been married 23 years. We have two daughters, one in college and one in third grade. I love her deeply, passionately, and openly. She is always saying how lucky she is to have me. I pay attention to her, I notice new clothes, ...
A. 15 December 2006: You haven't mentioned her excuse or any remorse. Is there any?... (read in full...)
I confronted my wife about the affairs I found out about and she claims they're over - the last email was 4 days ago!
Q. My wife and I have been married 23 years. We have two daughters, one in college and one in third grade. I love her deeply, passionately, and openly. She is always saying how lucky she is to have me. I pay attention to her, I notice new clothes, ...
A. 15 December 2006: You haven't mentioned her excuse or any remorse. Is there any?... (read in full...)
Can a happily married guy really be "just friends" with a single attractive girl?
Q. So I've been married for 6 years, been with my wife 11 years and have never come close to having an affair or even flirt with another woman. Out of nowhere this "girl next door" literally, I can easily see into her bedroom while standing in fron...
A. 15 December 2006: You don't have to stop thinking about her. Let it be your fantasy, not a goal though. Start to treat your wife to a ;itt;e more special attention. Of ccourse your wife doesn't moind you walking the dog with her. She doesn't know your thoughts. ... (read in full...)
Can a happily married guy really be "just friends" with a single attractive girl?
Q. So I've been married for 6 years, been with my wife 11 years and have never come close to having an affair or even flirt with another woman. Out of nowhere this "girl next door" literally, I can easily see into her bedroom while standing in fron...
A. 14 December 2006: I don't think you can be just friends because you've already begun to think more. You feel like your connecting and you're really supposed to just walking the dog. Focus on your marriage or you'll lose it. You can try and convince yourself that ... (read in full...)
I have a wonderful husband who treats me like a queen but ..how do I tell him I've fallen for another man?
Q. I have been married to the same man for 23 yrs I married at 15 I have two grown daughters 21 and 19 I dont have to work, I do what I want, when I want, and how I want I go out on weekends with the my friends to dances.. my husband is a wonderful man ...
A. 13 December 2006: He's given you soooo much that you began to expect it. Now you've begun to see him as too easy and you lost respect for him. Then another man came along who was probably not as giving. That made it a challenge. That was new to you.
Now g... (read in full...)
Is 'girth' more important that 'length' when girls look at penis'?
Q. Here's a different question regarding penis size. This one is about how big around it is. I've seen that women say circumference or "girth" is more important than length. Does that mean that the thicker the better? Mine is 4 1/2 inches around and ...
A. 13 December 2006:
I heard a statement on the radio the other day, made by a woman ..."men spend much more time talking about penis size thean women ever do" and "if they knew how much women didn't sit around talking about penises, they'd be dissappointed"... (read in full...)
She cheated on me and I've tried to forgive and forget - will it always hurt?
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me once, a week after we got together. She says it was only sex and doesn't know what got into her. She says it didn't mean a thing. She's been very open about it, apologetic, and has since then fallen in love with me as ...
A. 13 December 2006:
The only thing I can tell you is that a week after you got together, she wasn't really up to her eyeballs in the relationship yet. Time had not worked it's way into the relationship yet. In other words, you probably not as specail at that poin... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my boyfriend and also his best friend!
Q. Hi, I have been w/ my bf for 6 yrs, lived together for 4. We had our ups and downs, but we are good. I really can't see myself w/ anyone else, except his best friend. I known his friend before I met him and he hooked us up. His friend confesse...
A. 13 December 2006: You say "we're good" What part of "we're " is your boyfriend. You know the answer to this question. You don't love your boyfriend. If you loved him, you would NEVER do the ultimate dirty trick behind his back. Really, look at what you're ... (read in full...)
How do I hint that I would like to move in with him?
Q. just how can you hint to a guy that you would like to move in with him?...
A. 13 December 2006:
Put all his clothes in the small closet in the spare bedroom. Take all the space in the bathroom and begin to redecorate. Give him 12 post dated rent checks and change the address on your driver's licence.
Actually, I'm just joking. Jus... (read in full...)
How do I prove to him that I never cheated on him?
Q. I need help. I have been married for almost 4 years and I have never cheated on my husband even when he was just my boyfriend. Although he thinks that I have. Before I met him I had alot of guy friends and that's all that they were just friends. I ...
A. 13 December 2006: The first answer says it all. You can't prove soemthing your didn't do. Could you prove to him that last Thursday, at 6 pm you didn't sneeze? I know it's a siily question but it's just an example.... (read in full...)
I ended a brief affair w/ my coworker, but I would like to hear others' opinions about it - any thoughts?
Q. I can't believe I'm writing this, my head must be mashed! Well, where do I start? I've been married for 4 years and have a beautiful daughter coming up to three years old. I care for my wife deeply but cannot honestly say I'm in love with her any ...
A. 12 December 2006:
It seems you've already begun the process, at home at least. As for your co worker, what has she done? Cheating is cheating. The only way to do this, in an honourable fashion, is to end your current relationship. You didn't say though, how your... (read in full...)
Do men only flirt w/ a woman if he fancies her?
Q. I was having a chat with my partner last night (which turned into a bit of a heated debate) about men flirting and generally whether they only flirt with women they fancy. He reckons that men will only flirt and also speak innuendo with a woman if ...
A. 12 December 2006: I can joke with my best friends wife or my wifes best friend. That is not flirting though. Flirting is laying something out there, that could be possible. It's being suggestive or putting your best face on. In the cases I've mentioned, we all ... (read in full...)
After being married 3 months, I drunkenly kissed another man in front of my husband!
Q. I have made a major mistake!! I have only been married for 3 months and already have sort of cheated infront of my new husband! Its was works night out and I got really drunk I cant even remember the night I had difficulty getting a cab home when ...
A. 12 December 2006:
This was a big mistake. IF your husband forgives you, quit drinking. It's a sure way to show him that at least you know you were out of character and you do REALLY foolish things when drunk. How can he trust you in the future if you are drin... (read in full...)
She was secretly meeting w/ another guy. I don't know what to do about this!
Q. Is it cheating if your fiance is talking to another man when you are at work and meets him out at restaurant without you knowing and the only way you found out is by a friend telling you? This was going on for a month with him calling and then her...
A. 12 December 2006: Dr. Pete has many good points but I think it gives her too much wiggle room. Why didn't she introduce you to the guy. Why didn't you all get together. We all like to give our partners freedom but when it gets abused because the haven't crossed ... (read in full...)
His demands for sex is ruining our relationship! What should I do?
Q. Ok I have a problem. Me and my boyfrien have been dating for 10 months now. I'm 20 and he's 25. He was a man whore before we hooked up. He must have slept with over 100 women(which I knew about before we hooked up). I've always been in ...
A. 12 December 2006: This sounds like a bad situation for you. This guy needs to mature and probably more important, work on some personal issues. Sex 3to 5 times a day is extreme. That is probably not even in the range of normal. I don't care what anyone says. At ... (read in full...)
I date her but she and her ex still love each other! I'm unsure as to what to do?
Q. The girl im seeing is in love with her ex still,and her ex loves her. They still see each other and go shopping together,but i don't like her seeing her ex,as she spends more time with him then with me She says that they are just "friends". She ...
A. 12 December 2006: If the olny reason she's not with him is because of his family, move on. That means her hear is probably still with him. Thata's perhaps why they spend time together.... (read in full...)
Do you have thoughts of the first person who took your virginity?
Q. Okay this is more of a psychology question... My two cousins and I feel the same about this situaion. We all have lost our virginities and are dating other guys, but we all still have thoughts about our firsts. Is that normal? Is it a psychology ...
A. 12 December 2006: You're not nuts but the more you talk about it the more you'll think about it. It will fade though. ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with this hurt and pain and move on?
Q. A week ago I found out that my boyfriend of seven years who is also the father of my one year old son, has been cheating on me for a whole month! I moved out of our apartment and I've been miserable ever since. To make matters even worse, he's not ...
A. 11 December 2006:
It sounds like the guy is not ready to be in a relationship. He needs to change. He probably won't realize that though for years. It's too bad. I'm not sure if he's worth your time, as much as you'd like things to be better. He lacks resp... (read in full...)
I'm 15-he's 23. We've had sex and we're very nervous as we're unsure if it was legal?
Q. Hey....I am currently 15, I will be 16 in 6 days. I have been seeing this guy who is 23 for the past 3 weeks and we have slept together. We are nervous about people finding out because we are unsure if it is legal. I was wondering if it is ok for ...
A. 11 December 2006:
I think it's probably illegal. Don't take this the wrong way either but I question the judgement of a man who wants to date a young lady your age. Especially if he knows he's doing something wrong. His interests shold be in older women.... (read in full...)
Does he want me back and is he realizing that he let something good slip away? Any advice?
Q. My ex and i broke up about a month and a half ago. Him and i were talking to nite and there was alot of flirting going on between us. Like when were talking we were holding hands and weaving our fingers though each and others we hugged alot l...
A. 11 December 2006:
There must have been a reason for the breakup. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder but hopefully something has changed too. Therwise he'll fall into the same rut again. There is also the chance he wants sex. Talk to him if you're inte... (read in full...)
How do I know if my husband wnats to be with me for a lifetime?
Q. How do I know if a man (my husband) loves me to such an extent that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me? ...
A. 10 December 2006: Well you don't actually. You can only hope for the best. How do you know you'll always want to be with him?... (read in full...)
Had a fling with a workmate and now I'm leaving my job..he doesn't seem to care! I'm confused..why is he like this?
Q. I am having a fling with someone at work and he has a girlfriend. I feel bad that he is with someone but i like him and cant resist him. its been going on for a couple of months now and i really fancy him. Trouble is i told myself that i wouldnt get ...
A. 9 December 2006: Well, you had a fling. Consider yourself FLUNG !! Poor you. He's a cheater, you assist him and now you want sympathy. You laid down with a man who you had no business being with. Enjoy the consequences.... (read in full...)
My partner says if I keep the baby-I'm raising it on my own! I don't know what to do?
Q. ive been with my partner three and a half years and fell pregnant recently and my partner does not want the baby an dsays if i keep it ill be bringing it up on my own i love this man and dont wont to lose him butknowing i have to get rid of the baby ...
A. 9 December 2006:
This guy is a C R E E P !!He doesn't deserve you of a baby. The fact that he could put you in the position of having to choose and live with the choice for the rest of your life is disgusting. Why doesn't he want the baby. Does it interfere with... (read in full...)
I think he may be meeting w/ another girl for lunch! But is it just me being paranoid?
Q. my b/f of a year and a half usually doesnt call me in the mornings from work..Its always for the most part anyway been in the afternoon. (like 12-3) It seems like he has been calling me a little earlier..one time it was 9:30 am..and then whe...
A. 9 December 2006: Well, keep an eye on him and if it relly bothers you...ask him. IF you don't trust him,your relatiosnhip is going nowhere.... (read in full...)
I am a man and I'm deeply concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship! Am I an addict?
Q. Hi, I'm concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship. Over the last few years I have got into a habit of browsing internet porn, 3 or 4 hours a week. I had previously thought this to be harmless, but it seems to be devaluing sex wit...
A. 9 December 2006:
Anonymous....It sounds like you have an axe to grind. How can you take such a broad stroke with the brush and say "90% of men are such sexually perverted creatures". I could do the dame thing and say perhaps men wouldn't be so frustrated if "90%... (read in full...)
Married, but in love with a work colleague
Q. I'm a married man desperately in love with a female working colleague for 2.5 years now. I never tried to seduce her, but I've been as nice as I can to her. I'm treated nicely, but not really corresponded. I hate living with my wife but I love my ...
A. 9 December 2006:
Well, if you're sure yo're not going to ever love your wife again I think you should leave. Your wife is gong through life believing she's your lover and you say she's not. AS for the kids, they will be hurt. What is the question actu... (read in full...)
I am a man and I'm deeply concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship! Am I an addict?
Q. Hi, I'm concerned that pornography is affecting my relationship. Over the last few years I have got into a habit of browsing internet porn, 3 or 4 hours a week. I had previously thought this to be harmless, but it seems to be devaluing sex wit...
A. 9 December 2006: I'm not sure if I'm correct about this but I imagine many men view porn out of boredom. Perhaps if sex was a little more exciting at home, they might not feel tempted. This is where I'll probably get shot down....let me put on my ... (read in full...)
I think he may be meeting w/ another girl for lunch! But is it just me being paranoid?
Q. my b/f of a year and a half usually doesnt call me in the mornings from work..Its always for the most part anyway been in the afternoon. (like 12-3) It seems like he has been calling me a little earlier..one time it was 9:30 am..and then whe...
A. 8 December 2006: Based on what you said, yes, you jumped to the worst case scenario. Did yo ask who he was talking to? ... (read in full...)
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