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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been seeing my girlfriend for just under a year. She changed jobs a few months ago, and now works long late hours in a golfclub bar, mostly at weekends when I am off work. She is very outgoing attractive and enjoys men's attention, but tells me she is faithfull. A few weeks back she told me she was playing golf on her day off. Afterwards it turned out she played with a man, and then went out to lunch at a pub some distance from the club. I only learnt of the lunch when on the weekend after her game, I suggested we visit the same pub, and previously having told me she loved it, now said she wanted to go elswhere. On my insistence that we go she blurted out about her 'lunch date' in the pub. Then I noticed she became incredibly fond of her mobile phone, to the extent that when I visited her house, she carried it from room to room, i.e. away from my possibly sneaking a look!Then last week she again played with the same guy,(4th or 5th time now) but told me they had to leave the course early as he had to work, but when I asked, they had managed to still have a lunch in a pub close to her home (5miles from the course)! Now I asked her to be open and honest and show me her mobile phone, because she kept hiding it from my view, she refused and in front of me deleted all messages.Was I right to ask to see it?Is she having an affair?How do I trust her from this point,?I love her deeply but don't want to get hurt.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): Be very careful about asking her if she had an affair, women would probably never admit it outright.
But, yes, there is reason to be suspicious, after all, if the boot was on the other foot, wouldn't she complain??
AC
A
male
reader, happylife +, writes (6 November 2006):
There is absolutely no reason for your girlfriend to delete all her messages infront of you unless she had something to hide. She also insists on spending time with this other dude and lies about it.
In my opinion, she is definitely not being honest with you. That does not mean that she is therefore cheating on you but I don't know that she is trust worthy at this point.
When you are in a relationship with someone you suspect is cheating on you, be very careful not to have unprotected sex. Cheaters can bring you AIDS and other STDs from strangers. I understand you are in love but don't let that be a reason for you not to protect yourself from harm.
Good luck buddy,
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 She's hiding something. My ex did the exact same thing and she was actually seeing another man. Watch out and be careful.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 It doesn't mean she's cheating but I would find it a little strange is she were spending that much time with a guy and not mentioning it. If my wife was going out to lunch with some guy, I presume she'd tell me if for no other reason than to let me know. When we're in relationships, we tend to put the most stock in the relationship and anything else would be secondary. IF it's all innocent, then she had no reason to keep it a secret.
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