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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I don't want to be jealous and want to be able to cope with my boyfriend drinking without me. How do I do that?
Q. How do I handle letting my boyfriend go out and drink without me? Also, how do I get over being jealous and letting him actually look at girls? How do I change all of this if I have troubles doing so on my own?...
A. 11 April 2006: You can't control somebody. If you try, you'll chase him away. He will always find other girls attractive, just as he finds you attractive. Some will be more attractive than you. Some won't. You will find other men attracative too. All that is ... (read in full...)
I dont want our sex life to be oral forever!!!
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 2 years and our relationship is based on oral sex.We have had full sex maybe 4 to 5 times over the 2 years. He tries but after a few minutes he loses his erection and then gives up. I can only orgasm through ...
A. 10 April 2006: He doesn'tlike talking about it. That suggests he is concerned about it but is trying to avoid it. That won't work. As far as reaching orgasm together during intercourse, most people don't. As you know, the clitoris usually needs to be ... (read in full...)
She cheated when I wasn't affectionate, and when she admitted it, things got out of hand...
Q. My wife has admitted to having an affair. Over the last 12 months our life has been not good; she has a good job and works away a ot. To cope with this I started to distance myself from her so I would not become jealous and angry when she was away. ...
A. 9 April 2006: Well two things. Of course you know you shouldn't have hit her. Also, she shouldn't have cheated. Plain and simple. People can justify both things but there is really no justification.
Since she is the one who did the cheating, she needs to... (read in full...)
The spark has vanished and I feel stuck in a rut!
Q. Me and my boyfriend of 2 yrs live together but live like brother and sister. We dont have sex anymore, we dont do anything together anymore, and i think we just dont have that spark. I know we love eachother but we dont get along anymore. I dont ...
A. 9 April 2006: You have to make a decision. Either you want to work on it or not. Don't be fooled though, if you ever thought the spark or the magic of a new sexual encounter will follow you through your relationship without effort, you're wrong. Many things ... (read in full...)
I dont want our sex life to be oral forever!!!
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 2 years and our relationship is based on oral sex.We have had full sex maybe 4 to 5 times over the 2 years. He tries but after a few minutes he loses his erection and then gives up. I can only orgasm through ...
A. 9 April 2006: Maybe his conscious is bothering him because he cheated on his wife......
Does he orgasm when you give him oral. Does he seem to like it. I can't imagine not being able to reach orgasm through penetration. Honestly, there must be a medical ... (read in full...)
He's just not that interested in my enjoyment of sex! Is it him, or me?
Q. What should I do if my bf can not sexually satisfy me? He told me he had sex with a girl 4 times each day last summer, but when he was with me, he was very selfish for almost half year, never consider my needs. I complained and wanted to...
A. 9 April 2006: What jumped out at me was not having sex for 30 days after his vacation. I don't many men sho would be happy with that. I do think most men would be looking forward to sex after being apart. I'd be really interested to know if something went on ... (read in full...)
I dont want our sex life to be oral forever!!!
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 2 years and our relationship is based on oral sex.We have had full sex maybe 4 to 5 times over the 2 years. He tries but after a few minutes he loses his erection and then gives up. I can only orgasm through ...
A. 9 April 2006: Does he loose his erection after he reaches orgasm or in the middle of intercourse? If he has reached orgasm, naturally he'll lose it for a while. The older you get, the longer a "while " becomes. Also, a few minutes of continual intercourse is ... (read in full...)
marraige is good but the sex has gone down the drain
Q. hi, i've been married for 3 years. i live in a conservative society where sex before marriage is not encouraged and not considered good... I myself am a person who does not approve of such reltionships... my husband and myself came to know eachother ...
A. 9 April 2006: This sounds like there might be more to it then what appears on the surface. As a man, I find it strange that your husband gets erections but is quite happy to just role over and go to sleep. I don't think that's very common. Men don't "just" get ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance, now he won't take me back...
Q. i have been with my fiance for 3 years and i made a terrible mistake of cheating on him ive hurt him so much but i love him we have split up 2 weeks ago but i love him so much and only ever wanna be with him for my life i love him so much and its ...
A. 9 April 2006: People make mistakes in life. You, unfortuantely made a huge one !! It sounds like you are aware of this too. The idea of putting it behind you is easy, since you made the error. Speaking as a guy, let me tell you what is going through your ... (read in full...)
Is 3 months too long for her to be away with her guy "friend"?
Q. My girlfriend knows a guy overseas. She wants to go over there without me for 3 months. Am I being overly concerned to think 3 months is a long time or not?...
A. 6 April 2006: I agree with most answers here. The time line isn't really the most important thing. 3 days or 3 months, something COULD happen either way. The problem with 3 months is it might give two people more time to bond, leading to other things. Listen, ... (read in full...)
He's my husband's best friend and he was our best man at our wedding. I can't stop thinking about him! Help!
Q. I have been married for 10yrs(most of it happy,some of it difficult)trouble is I have been attracted to our friend, matt (my hubbys best friend,best man at our wedding)for some years and so far all i am guilty of is a little flirting.butI'm going to ...
A. 6 April 2006: Don't go to the concert!!!... (read in full...)
I lied about my past, but now we're not together, what can I do?
Q. I lied to my ex even though it was in the past there was ALOT i've done with guys that i didn't tell him but we weren't together and it still bothers him because he thinks its important to know the past. He says he will never get over everything ...
A. 5 April 2006: This is a big RED FLAG !! It's not his job to "get over " your past. Tell him if he keeps this up he'll be getting over YOUR past by himself. Why should you have to explain why you did something sexual with a guy. Just tell him " at that ... (read in full...)
I just don't think that "spark" is there anymore, what can I do?
Q. When I first met my G/F she was all over me: sweet messages, lots of loving notes, nick names, all of that. It's now three months later and although we are still together, all of that has disappeared. We communicate and see each other as much as ...
A. 5 April 2006: Three months is a shor period of time for the thrill to have worn off. That also depends on your age. IF you're 20 that's one thing but if you're 55, that's another. Things don't always stay "super hot" once a relationship matures, you have to ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is furious because a male workmate slept at my house! But nothing happened!
Q. Hi I have been seeing a married man I met at my old work now for three months now and have grown very attached. His relationship with his wife is over although they are still together for the sake of their 11 year old son. Trouble is I went...
A. 2 April 2006: Cheaters think others cheat. That is is because they think everybody is at their low moral level. You are a cheater. Your man is a cheater. The guy who was at your place wanted sex. You let him in. What do you think he wanted? A game of ... (read in full...)
Confused about my collegue, what's his game?
Q. I am crazy about a coworker, though I had kept it all to myself so far. I am in a committed relationship and he has a "girl friend". Maybe someone could help me understand the situation better: 1. He often stays late and chat with me alone, b...
A. 1 April 2006: My question is, why do you care and what are you doing putting yourself in this situation if you have a partner? You're fishing and looking for trouble. He might be too. All we know for certain though is you're aware of something. Considering ... (read in full...)
He just goes soft and doesn't come... Should I walk away now?
Q. I'm a 30 year old female and I am dating a 39 year male. We have been having sex for two weeks now (about 8 times) and are not using a condom because we both got checked for STD's. My problem is, and I have never had this happen before, that no ...
A. 1 April 2006: I would talk to him about it. This sounds very strange to me. I have never heard of this type of thing before. The opposite is more often the case. Men are not like women. I've known women who can enjoy sex for the closeness and bounding and ... (read in full...)
My bf found out I lied about my past lovers and now he's upset..how can I make it up to him?
Q. i lied to my boyfriend about how many people i slept with before him and he can't seem to get over it, i've tried to say all that i could but he didnt even want me near him ... things are better now but it just doesnt feel the same between us. what ...
A. 28 March 2006: First of all, it was really none of his business. If you chose to answer him, you should not have lied. If it was something that was going to anger him, that should have been a red flag for you. Now that he knows, it 's for him to get over. You ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so betrayed?
Q. I have been going through radical breast surgery which has changed the way i look and feel, my husband says he is fine with this and not a boob man which i never thought he was recently i found porno video clips on his phone, i know this is normal ...
A. 26 March 2006: I think you feel betrayed becasue this hits close to home for you. I don't know why you've had this surgery but I'm sure it has been stressful on you. It's a lot to deal with. I hope you manage. At the same time, it's stressful to your man too. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a home wrecker, but...
Q. I have been in love with this guy for about 9-10 years. When all this started i was young. We tried to go different ways. He hooked up with this girl and had kids and I got engaged. I left my relationship after three years because I still love ...
A. 24 March 2006: If he's so unhappy he'll leave her. There is no " but " here either. Mind your business !!! He's not yours. If she is so terrible, he'll leave. Why do you want to bring yourself down to her level?... (read in full...)
A hidden text broke my heart. Are kisses cheating and can i ever feel secure with my partner again??
Q. 9 months ago i found a hidden text on my partner of 5 years mobile from a work colleague saying thanx for not taking advantage of me last night but i really enjoyed our kisses ... im still racked with worry that he may want other relationships ... ...
A. 24 March 2006: Kisses are cheating. I don't totally agree with the other answer. What was your partner doing in a situations with a woman that would get them that close? We usually don't violate ones personal space unless we intend to be phyiscal with them. ... (read in full...)
He takes an interest in and asks about me, and I'm very attracted. Problem is, he's married with kids...
Q. I work at a gas station, I've been there for almost a year. One of the guys that comes in to stock the soda is attractive funny and nice, he flirts with me and of course I flirt back. I'm 20 years old and he is 28. The only problem is that he ...
A. 21 March 2006: He's married. Leave him alone. Why complicate things? He's not for you to take. Maybe he is just a nice guy. We always meet people we're attracted to. He's not available.... (read in full...)
All I hear is that he's "too tired" or not in the mood for sex. What's wrong?
Q. I have been married for seven months now. Before my husband and I got married we had sex on a regular basis (We weren't living together though). Now we are married we have it at the most twice a month (Were only 23 and have no kids!!) I don't kn...
A. 20 March 2006: Something has changed. You need to deak with it now as it won't get better on it's own. Your marriage is young. You should have many happy years left. If this is a situation that REALLY bothers you, it must be dealt with or maybe you should ... (read in full...)
Why do married men choose "spice" over rekindling the love with their wife?
Q. Hi, i want to know why is it that married men go looking for some spice in their lives when they have a beautiful wife at home and im sure together with some effort from both sides, they can enjoy their sex lives as much as abt having an affair with ...
A. 20 March 2006: People cheat because they get bored at home. They also cheat because they need attention they are not gettting from their partner. It's not just men either, while I do think men are more able to have "just" sex and not judge themselves to ... (read in full...)
Unhappy with my boyfriend, I'm afraid to leave. He says he'll prevent me seeing our daughter!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. In this time we moved in together and had a baby. We are planning to marry in the next year and a half, but over the past year I've realised what a selfish person he is 80% of the time. He speaks to me like ...
A. 19 March 2006: You do need to talk to somebody about this. What kind of person gives you a choice like that. I can't understand him. Why would he want to go through the motions of being in a happy relationship when he knows you're only there out of fear. Talk ... (read in full...)
My son's father is willing to cheat on his fiancee with me. Should I trust what he says?
Q. I haven't spoken to my son's father in 3 yrs. We just started talking and getting along real well. He's engaged to another woman. He's now telling me that he's falling in love with me, and that he's going to stay with her till he figures out what...
A. 19 March 2006: You're trying to make this guy something he's not. That would be an honest good person. Run inthe opposite direction ! What kind of father is he? Does he pay support payments to you? If you had a daughter and she was in your situation, what ... (read in full...)
I don't know if what I am doing is ok for this guy and his relationship. HELP!
Q. So I've met this really great guy. We have a lot in common, the chemistry is undeniably there, and we have a ton of fun. Recently, we've been getting closer - hanging out one-on-one, etc. Earlier this week he got my phone number, and we made a ...
A. 19 March 2006: I think you're setting yourself up for a bad situation. You both have feelings for eachother. It's hard to put the genie back in the bottle. Remeber the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The fact that you're even questioning this ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my married lover, but it hurts that we can't be together!
Q. I'm a 25 year old female and have been single for a long time. The longest relationship I had was for 3 months. I've got a best mate and have known him for 3 years. Over the past year we have been having an affair. He is married. We have both rec...
A. 19 March 2006: Your feelings don't matter in this case. You only care about yourself. Why don't you find a real man instead of a fickle cheater. Actually, maybe you should marry him, have kids and then see how it feels when he cheats on you. You're both living ... (read in full...)
I'm a great wife and mother-but his bad behaviours are so unfair and I'm hurt!
Q. My husband and i have been married for 9 years with 4 children between us, However i have never been highly sexed and he has, he says i haven't paid him enough attention in our marriage and states this for the reasons that he hasn't come home on ...
A. 18 March 2006: Your husband is really acting like a jerk. He has no right to behave like this. Has this been an ongoing problem in your relationship, not enough sex I mean? HAs he asked you to try and increase your desire. If so have you taken any steps in ... (read in full...)
This is starting to scare me... Is my boyfriend too obsessed with me?
Q. I'm scared my boyfriend might be obsessed with me. He is always wanting to talk to me and gets very jealous. I like him a lot but he's starting to scare me. I can't dump him because he's one of my best friends and I would hate to not speak to him. ...
A. 18 March 2006: We need more information to give a good answer.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going back to his wife, is he telling me the truth?
Q. I have been having an affair with a man for 15 months, he has been living with me. Now he has decided to go home for his daughter. He says he's told the wife about the affair and that he didnt love her, and she has accepted it. My question...
A. 17 March 2006: It's too bad you didn't find someone who was available. I never feel sorry for the "other" person. If you don't want to get fleas, don't lay down with dogs. I would give him the same advice.... (read in full...)
My husband and girlfriend are extremely close. Is this normal?
Q. My girlfriend spends a lot of time on the phone with my husband and at my house with my husband when I'm not home. I know they discuss her bad marriage and sex. I told both of them I'm upset and want it to stop. Now they're upset with me and ...
A. 16 March 2006: Rule number one. You shouldn't really spend too much time with members of the opposite sex talking about really private stuff. He's taking over your spot as a shoulder to cry on etc. Next she will start to look up to him and his qualities and ... (read in full...)
Not a word of a lie: my sex life has been the nearest thing possible to necrophilia with both parties still breathing!
Q. I have been married for more years than I care to remember or let you know but, as far as sex is concerned, I am afraid of my wife. Even as far back as our honeymoon, we would only have sex 2/3 times a week and never in the 11 days a month she used ...
A. 16 March 2006: What have you got to lose? Have you talked about it before. Maybe she needs to talk to somebody. Try to convince her how important it is toyou and see where you can go from there.... (read in full...)
Can I trust her if her job requires her to flirt with men!?
Q. i met this woman who works in a club, we hit it off, and we've even had a lunch date. she calls me often, and she shows all the signs of atrraction. but can she be trusted if her job requires her to flirt with men? what do i do?...
A. 16 March 2006: What happens if she works in an office? A mens' clothing store? A super market etc.. People all flirt to some extent. Some more than others. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be going out to lunch with you. She's in the service industry. ... (read in full...)
I can't my behavior towards her, I'm going crazy!
Q. I am a 34 year old guy and I have fallen in love with a 32 year old woman. The problem for me is that I am feeling very insecure in this relationship. She is very beautiful and often gets admiring looks, comments, telephone numbers, and pro...
A. 16 March 2006: I think you're making a good choice about the therapist. And wow, it's only been two months !! You'd better cool it or you'll scare her away.... (read in full...)
I wasn't in the mood, but he still got his relief, so should I be worried?
Q. 2 nights ago, my boyfriend of 15 months wanted sex and I wasnt in the mood. After pestering me for some time and not getting anywhere, he went to the toilet and relieved himself. Should I be worried? I dont know what to do....
A. 15 March 2006: I think, in general but not always, women tend to have the position of power in deciding if sex is going to happen. IF men had the power, it would be a disaster as they would probably be doing all the time. That's just the way it works, natures ... (read in full...)
She says no body was as perfect as me, but I don't believe her!
Q. A Question to all you woman out there, my wife tells me guys are attracted to women more from a phyisical stand point, women from a emotional. that a mans body, penis size are not important. I cant believe my wife who has been with better body, ...
A. 15 March 2006: From a guy, your wife is correct. Be happy it's that way too. It gives all us average guys a chance. Can you imagine if everything was based on looks. Relationships would all fail because there will always be a better looking person areound the ... (read in full...)
I can't my behavior towards her, I'm going crazy!
Q. I am a 34 year old guy and I have fallen in love with a 32 year old woman. The problem for me is that I am feeling very insecure in this relationship. She is very beautiful and often gets admiring looks, comments, telephone numbers, and pro...
A. 15 March 2006: The first two answers were excellent. I've been there before my friend and I think smeedle gave me some good advice.
My wife is a 10 too. Not just in my eyes either. She turns heads all the time. She takes it in stride. Taking telephon... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a guy that has a pregnant girlfriend. HELP!
Q. i am having a relationship with a guy whose in a relationship and his girlfriend is 5 months pregnant. we are both 30 something and educated people, but i cant help it. he is so what i am looking for after a 7 year sham of a relationship what shall ...
A. 15 March 2006: You are very selfish. You're going from one sham to another. If the first guy was a sham, this guy is a REAL prize. He sounds like a heartless person. What can you possibly see in a man who would do this to his pregnant partner.... (read in full...)
My bf's in the hospital, should I stay or go on with my life?
Q. my boyfriend of 9 years who is 13 years older has been in the hospital for 2 months and will be in longer. How do I rationalize staying with him or moving on? ...
A. 15 March 2006: If you decide to leave him at this time, you'll always look like you're heartless. If the relationship was in trouble before, can't you atleast draw from the good memories long enough to be there for him. I imagine if it was that bad you wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my husband soon and I want a relationship with my married friend from the ice cream shop.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am an unhappily married woman with 2 children. My plan is to leave when my husband finishes school in June. There is a married man who is a friend of mine. His daughter and my daughter are classmates. He also owns an ice cream sto...
A. 15 March 2006: The first thing you should do is find another snack. If you eat too much ice cream and gain weight, he'll move on to the next woman. Why are you doing this. You're ruining your family and his. Have you no shame? Work on your marriage.... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend.... I think!
Q. i really need some help. i was very drunk and i think i cheated on my boyfriend who i love more than anything. i dont know why i did it, as the one thing i hate more than anything is people who cheat. sadly, i am not totally sure that i did it as i ...
A. 15 March 2006: Are you sure your boyfriend will handle the fact that you put another mans penis in your mouth. That's blunt but true. I'm sure he'll be happy to have that image painted in his mind every time he kisses you. Don't blame the drink. You made a ... (read in full...)
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