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female
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anonymous
writes: Should I carry on sleeping with this married man?I met this guy 9 months ago and started seeing him. Unbeknown to me he was married and just separated from his wife. After a few months he decided to get back together with her and give their marriage another go for the sake of the kids. However we carried on seeing each other once a week, its purely sex nothing more. Then I met someone and stopped seeing him. After being dumped recently I got back in touch and we have started it up again. But I feel very guilty this time round and not sure I can carry on. I just feel so bad for his wife and he shows no guilt whatsoever about cheating on her. I know its morally wrong but he is so addictive and I dont want to stop seeing him. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): So stop going to the barracks, already! Do not see him, do not answer his phone calls, texts or emails. That's how you stop.
Taking up with a boyfriend and getting dumped, is absolutely no justification whatsoever for contacting this scumbag of a married man. He wanted to try again with his wife - can't be very serious about it.
No wonder you feel guilty: you have very little moral fibre. You know without question what you are doing is wrong. It matters not a flea's backside whether you do or not WANT to stop seeing him. That's completly irrelevant. You will feel better once you begin to do the right thing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): I cared about him when we were dating but when i found out he lied about stuff i cant say i hate him but i think he is a bit of an a rsehole.
when i was with him the other night he phoned home to see how his wife and kids were as he had just come back from spending the weekend with them. he obviously has no respect for his wife or marriage (incidentally he is in the army and only sees them at weekends the rest of the time he is in barracks which is where i go visit him.)
i dont feel any emotion towards him its just purely physical but he pesters me to see him and when im with him he says how much he wants me and im very weak and give in all the time. its very frustrating but i know that if i was his wife i would hate me as much as him - especially as he has cheated loads of times before.
thanks for the advice anyhow
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 I agree with Eddie you feel guilty because you know that if you were trying to make it work with a man and he was doing this behind your back once a week it would break your heart... It would really hurt me deeply if I found out that this would happen to me...
All I can say is that if you feel guilty about it then I think you know what to do... You have to leave this man for good not necesserly for the sake of his marriage but for the sake of yourself... This relationship is starting to get you down and it isn't about to get any better honey.
It's time to pull up your socks and move on in your life..... addicted or not......... What would you say to a heroin addict.... Do you really think your as addicted as that?
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 You've answered all your own questions. The question I have is why do you feel so down on yourself that you would actively participate in such a rotten event. Not only do you step all over his wifes life and the rebuilding she's attempting, you also settle for his left overs. The truth is you don't even deserve. Why do you want to lay down with dogs? He sounds like he's full of @$#% and you're eager to please him.
Think about it, you didn't know he was married then you found out, he went back to his wife for good reasons but he still wanted a little fun on the side so you waited, now your with him for sex, you claim you feel bad but you carry on. Actully I can see it from a different angle. Both of you have very little moral fibre. He's horny, you're horny. He wants you, his wife and any other woman. You only care about yourself and sex with him. In the end either he'll be with his wife or single. At that time, the fun of being sexual with you will have wrn off because it's no longer taboo. Then all you will have are your memories of the dirty deed you guys did and the lives that were hurt.
Sometimes things are very black and white. This is one of those things. If he was a strong man and determined to leave his wife, he'd do so. He's wishy washy though. There's an old saying, Why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free.
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